Realtors, Can You See The Value In Changing The World Now$

Can you imagine someone like me using the skills they have learned not only for good, but to help you make money? I understand I am not supposed to talk about “Fight Club”, but can you imagine all the money?

I am starting a freelance project, where I rent out my ability to create influence and sales by changing the way people think and in turn changing their epigenetics. Changing the world does not have to be something that cannot be monetized. And I want to take you all with me.

And do you know the best part? I am only charging $100/m. Life does not need to be difficult and neither does making money or creating influence or success. How are we going to do this? We are going to send out email listings using NLP and my brand of common sense mixed with some social media strategies. All you will have to do is take the written emails with listings that I send you and choose which of your clients to send them to.

These emails will train your clients to not only search listings online, but it will train their brains to look forward to your emails and phone calls. Your clients probably will not consciously understand what you are doing, but their brains will follow suit and in turn so will they. Training your clients’ brains to release dopamine and oxytocin from receiving your emails is simple. It is a mere copy and paste away. Could I have made it any simpler?

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

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Dear My Revolutionary People

Dear My Revolutionary People

Hope you are enjoying this beautiful late spring morning. Life is beautiful and you are living a manifestation of your thoughts, dreams, and actions. So, think, dream, and do wisely. I have not and will never forget about you all, but I need to take a break to work on my goals and dreams. The past two months have been unreal to say the least, but I have learned so much about myself, life, and the world. I need to integrate this knowledge into my daily life, otherwise it is all just a waste.

I encourage you to think about what you have learned in the past two months. How has what you have learned changed your life, both in the macro and micro? How are you operating differently on a daily basis? How do you view the big picture differently? What actions are you taking that reflect these changes and beliefs? How are you manifesting the person you are destined to be? Because you know we are all destined for greatness. Whatever that may mean to you is your birthright. No limitations, just infinite possibilities.

The moon is in Aquarius for the rest of today. This is my favorite time of every month because it is a couple days to commune with God and your higher self. Take in all the changes of the world and connect with whatever higher power you believe in. Realign with your destiny and your birthright. You are destined for whatever you deem to be God like perfection in this life. Claim it and embody it without hesitation or self doubt.

Love Always

Nicole Graves

Grey Rock And Going No Contact After Narcissistic Abuse

Going no contact after narcissistic abuse is not always an option. No contact is merely removing toxic people from your life in all ways. Changing your phone number, moving, and blocking people on multiple social media platforms is not always a possibility. Although, it is a great way to make a new beginning feel extremely new and fresh. When you cannot completely cut people out of your life, such as co-parenting, using the grey rock technique is another valid option.

The grey rock technique is a way to separate yourself emotionally from a narcissist/toxic person. It involves no longer reacting emotionally to the person along with not investing emotionally. Treat them as a stranger that you do not love and you do not hate, but you merely feel neutral about. Nothing annoys and detours a toxic person like indifference. Cluster b personality disorders do not believe they can be unimportant in someone’s life. Therefore, if you show them just how unimportant they are via your communication style, they will stop communicating with you as much because you are not mirroring their inflated importance back to them.

“By remaining emotionally unresponsive to the narcissist’s bait and prompts, you reduce your worth in their eyes.”

This is a technique that takes time to perfect. When you first leave a narcissistic abusive relationship your biological reactions are on high alert, but after time this calms down. Grey rock is incredibly easy when the narcissist no longer has any control over you and/or your life. Yes, it takes awhile to get to this destination, but this is where the feelings of indifference are rooted. Pretend they are nothing to you and you never allowed them to hurt you because they thrive on your reactions.

“Hurting people gives them the feeling of the control. Control over other people. They enjoy being able to manipulate you in an emotional bankruptcy, being empowered to influence your state of mind.”

Grey Rock is the greatest acting role you will have in this lifetime and your recovery depends on it. Once you have mastered this technique to ward off toxic people you will realize you can do anything. Your feelings do not have to rule your life, no matter how big and overwhelming they are.

Love Always

Nicole Graves

Sources:

https://medium.com/@loveyourspirit1/persistence-of-narcissists-and-grey-rock-method-b974b6c5c962

Dear Oregon People

Dear Oregon People,

I found you all on Instagram today and I hope you are ready to accept the biggest mission of your life. I need you all to help me change the world. You all know I have never enjoyed power and/or destruction, but this is why I am the most suited to be a leader of anyone in my family. I get to take over for them if I get married and have a baby. You all also know this is like my worst nightmare, but I am also eating raw meat nowadays so nightmares become reality. LOL Not really you got to try the raw meat it is amazing! 😉

So much has changed! My family sent me away to a death camp and instead of dying I flourished and healed cancer. I escaped on March 30, 2021 the day before my 40th birthday. I have been experiencing daily attempted murder ever since and not very covertly often. You all know how to spread gossip like wildfire. I need you to tell everyone I am still alive and my family has lied about me my whole life. They started Covid because they got caught in their lie about me being dead last year. They celebrated and announced my death too soon.

You need to help me start a revolution because there is still hope that we can end all this destruction. You all know I hate conflict, but this is worth being revolutionary over. We need to save you all’s children!! And I need to have a human child. I know you all may have hated me because my family torchured everyone who got somewhat close to me to show their power, but you also know I am not like them and have paid my whole life for my heart. Please tell everyone now is the time for a revolution. Over here in New Mexico, I have found a somewhat safe place to buy myself some time, but I will need you all’s help to get to where I need to be to make this revolution a reality.

Love you all

Nicole “ZiFi” Graves

Watch Me Break Even More & Take Joy In It, But One Day It Could Be You

I see some of you people enjoying my pain. I know it is shocking that I have a heart still, but my family will continue to break me over and over. The thing is you could be me one day. Destruction is the only for sure thing when getting involved with the Kudearoffs. All it takes is my family having a good or bad day to desire to destroy you for their enjoyment. I have been tied to their destruction by blood and birthright, but some of you all here choose to be tied to them. You choose to allow them the opportunity to break you, but think they won’t because you have been a good soldier. Have you not realized there is no loyalty in this game of destruction they play?

There are phone records, license plates, and ip addresses that link you all to their evil. And in turn records connecting the wizard behind the curtain to the evil you have carried out for them. There is no way to hide all the communication they require when they are not allowed East of I-5.

It goes as deep as the pool guy from when I lived in Vegas that used to poison my pool. Can you imagine how little of a life they have had in order to mess with my life this much and create my Truman Show. No one ever had any intention of killing me because I am the reason for the great amount of narcissistic supply they get. I have always been the source of a great deal of power, but this trip has allowed me to see the extent to which they have used me against you merely for attention, aka power in their eyes.

Do you see how much of a pawn you all and I have been for the past almost 40 years? All they want is attention and the power to destroy, they will never be fully fledged humans or even close. And they kept me drugged, poisoned, and in a perpetual state of destruction to keep you doing their dirty work.

This has to end because you all are the ones who will actually end up paying for the sins of my family. Don’t you think they will get great joy in using you all as scapegoats too?

Nicole Graves

Aunt N’s Not So Covert War Tactics

When a covert war becomes not so covert. Are we calling this an overt war now? Aunt N & Uncle D it probably is not good to leave proof like this of your war games.

Now I see you are waking up early with high cortisol with me on your mind. Or is it more the fact that you may loose your narcissistic supply? This would have been from 4am ish in Oregon on a Sunday. My best guess is Aunt N because she is used to waking up early to drive school bus.

Do better!

Xoxo

Your Niece Nicole Graves

Santa Fe Today-May 24, 2021

You want to know how to freak out your own personal Truman show filled with military people who know of your parents, but do not know them directly. Sit back and enjoy the show they are putting on for you in a grocery store parking lot, while eating raw ground beef with your hands in dirty clothes. People have heard of the evil of my parents for decades through the grapevine while in the military, but many never really knew of me. Sure, they heard I was “special” by rumor and royalty merely by birthright. But never did they take the time to think about what a woman born to great evil would really be like in the flesh. They cannot hide their shock, but they are putting great efforts into it.

Now at the Veteran’s Memorial Cemetery in Santa Fa, New Mexico, my family cult the Kudearoff’s have stopped sending people to visit their ancestors to leave poisoned flowers. However now, they have a large team of yard maintenance workers polluting the air and military veterans driving their cars and motorcycles through in an effort to give me lead poisoning and spike my cortisol. New Mexico respects their dead more than any other place I have been so far on this adventure. I appreciate this because I love me some dead people!

I have found some sort of portal here in Santa Fe. They may not be able to aide in my battle for my birthright, but they are holding space for me to accomplish my mission on my own. Once again I may not know the how, but I know with the grace of this time and space everything will become clear. Remember, life is all about doing good even when you do not know when it will payoff. Because it does payoff eventually and often better than you could have ever planned.

Love Always

Nicole Graves

Influence Of New Mexico Military

You all have more power than you realize! This is the least my family cult has tried to destroy me in a really long time. It is like when my Mom used to take me out in public as a child and pretend to treat me humanely. How do you do it? No one has been able to make my Mom/family behave since my Grandma Kudearoff died/was murdered.

The other branches of the military did not know I was alive, huh? None of you all knew your children who are like me could live “normal” lives, huh? You all did not realize what was stolen from you all. And you all are all over the world. My Mom/family controls the Army with a very tight grip, but you all are more willing participants than any of the other groups they have control over.

I have been looking for someone with your kind of power my whole life. I hope you are just as pleasantly surprised by meeting me.

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

Native Americans and Air Force Of New Mexico

Have you all heard that if I have a baby and get married I get to take over for my family? It will literally take an Army to make this happen. Maybe you all could call a truce of sorts and we could all work towards making the world a better place for the generations to come. I understand this too is a long shot and I am an idealist, but I just have to present the opportunity that is before us.

I am quite a different person than my family, but I do believe there are a large number of people like me in the world who do not believe in destruction. Rather we believe in exploring our potential and being good people. There will not be another option like this for my family because they have made sure that all the other children have been broken. And with the use of epigenetics the generations after me were and will continue to be born broken.

Can you imagine how hard I have worked to stay alive and heal all the trauma I have experienced, only to realize they will never allow me to live a normal life? The only shot I have at fulfilling my birthright is in finding people who see the importance of what I am capable of doing/offering. If you all cannot see the need for my revolution then the world will just continue to get worse and worse. Life is not meant to be this dark.

Will you all help me change the world?

Love Always

Nicole Graves

Santa Fe Air Force

I seem to have come back from the dead, yet again. You all did not know I was still alive, let alone I have Asperger’s genius. And on top of it all your children like me are not what my family told you. This is why I felt more anger from my family when I started heading this way from Albuquerque.

I am assuming this means you did not know they torchure and poison your children in the group homes. Did you hear I worked at a group home in Sierra Vista? I was at a death camp there and my Mom thought it was safe to tell everyone I was dead, but I found more answers there than ever before because the people there did not know I was smart. They thought I was “special” and gave me more information than I could have found on my own.

Did you hear about how I had head surgery when I was 8 years old? They tried to make me more controllable and gave me extra access to things that you all do not have access to like dead people and other people’s body sensations. I can feel people and you all do not know what to think. You are in shock and that is to be expected.

Why are you poisoning the Native Americans? Is this something that my family makes you do or is it something the government makes you do? My family is quite powerful, but no one ever told me anything about this whole mess. They were just waiting for me to have a baby so they could kill me. But now that I am 40 they had given up and were trying to kill me in nearly overt ways since 2015.

I have recovered from cancer and learned how to heal almost anything with the special access my head surgery and lot of hallucinating and talking to God has given me. Are you interested in healing your children? I know it is a long shot, but I just want you all to know it is an option on the table. I love my people, we are so dynamic. Not better than, just different and more relatable.

You all are not like my family. You all are not past the point of no return. You are still good people who have hearts. How did you get into this mess? I can only imagine, but my Mom can be charming when she tries or at least she used to be when she was younger. Have you seen her now? She is a very angry person and she took her angry out on my little brother and I all our lives. But you know what, she did not break me. People like me have something special that makes us unable to be brainwashed all the way. I think it is the logic that comes along with being a genius. Do you know how hard it is to be this smart? It hurts often because understanding the majority of people is almost impossible.

After studying Cluster B Personality Disorders for years, I can see their point of view now, but I also see you all are not narcissists and/or sociopaths. Just humans who made a couple bad decisions, which is something we all do. This is part of the human experience, making mistakes and realizing the error of your ways. However what you do from here when you do know the whole story, could put you past the point of no return.

You all are not as controlled by my family, but yet they still seem to own you. Why? Why would you choose ownership over your children? Especially now with knowing all you know.

Love Always

Nicole Graves

25 Signs A Person Is Toxic

After experiencing narcissistic abuse it is important to go no contact with all the toxic people in your life. Often it is difficult to tell who is toxic and who is not, because we are not used to having boundaries. A person does not need to have a full blown personality disorder to be toxic. Labeling people is not necessary, but identifying how they make you feel is.

Signs of a toxic person:

  • They like to be heard rather than listening to themselves-only through being heard can they access source energy
  • They are generally a negative person
  • They are judgmental
  • They use love as a weapon and manipulation tactic
  • They are selfish
  • They need to be right
  • They are surrounded by drama
  • They lie
  • They are always the victim
  • They never have a nice word to say about others
  • They take no responsibility for their own feelings
  • They do not apologize
  • They like to complain rather than finding solutions to their problems
  • They make you feel drained
  • They are inconsistent
  • They make you prove yourself to them
  • They are not supportive of what is important to you
  • They nitpick your successes and efforts
  • They regress with age rather than mature
  • They are manipulative
  • They are more interested in what you can give them rather than adding to your life
  • You dread spending time with them
  • You stoop to their level
  • You resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • They make everything in life seem complex and difficult

Now that you are armed with knowledge, allow it to become wisdom and go no contact with the toxic people in your life.

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

Day 53 Of Running From My Family Cult-The Kudearoffs

In the past couple days a lot of pieces have come together. After taking the Tony Robbins webinar “Own Your Future” I realized he uses NLP just like my family did on me as a child. He must control the people like me with Asperger’s who were unable to be controlled by our parents. This means we exist great numbers.

Also, my hopes of Mike Snow wanting to do good were eliminated. But that is understandable because Tony Robbins and him are related. So they may have just as much to loose as my family. It appears everyone is invested in evil and NLP.

Did you all experience NLP as a child? Do your relatives who are narcissists have Autism too? My running theory is narcissists are just people with autism who use their powers for evil and learn NLP to control people.

Check out my YouTube video from today.

Love Always

Nicole

P.S. A man at the gas station today called me royalty. What is that all about?

New Mexico People You Can End This All By Telling The Native Americans About My Offer

Dear all people of New Mexico,

I am tired of this battle with the Kudearoff family. You all have to be tired of this too! You can end this by telling your Native American neighbors about my birthright and my offer of an alliance. We are all just one conversation away from peace and quiet. I know you all live here because you value your peace. I do as well. Simply mention my post, Dear Native Americans Of New Mexico .

Thank you and have a great night!

Nicole Graves

Narcissists Use NLP While Having Autism

Please check out my latest video of connecting why Autism and Narcissism run in the same families. As someone with Asperger’s, I have the ability to read people just as my relatives who deal with narcissism. What do you think the connection is?

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

I Need My Gossip Girls

Dear My Gossip Girls,

Tonight, I reached out to one person who is like me kinda, his Aka is Mike Snow and he is in southern Cali. I need you all to get to him before my family does. There is a chance that the dark side is something he does not want to leave behind, but there is also a chance that he is like me and believes in good. I have seen his heart and soul and it is good, but we all do what we have to in order to survive. I am not looking to be turned to the dark side, but he is someone who may meet me on my side of right and wrong. He is the only one that I would accept as an equal. The rest I would just boss around. So with you all knowing all the rules and regulations of this game, please reach out and invite him to New Mexico to join in my revolution. It is a long shot, but we have to try because we could literally save the world.

Love Always

Nicole Graves

NLP & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Nuero Linguistic Programming is a powerful tool in narcissistic abuse recovery. Programming yourself to value who you are as an independent individual is vital in healing. Finding security in being an individual is an uphill battle until you realize how to reverse the brainwashing of narcissistic abuse.

Remember when the world went dark in the early 1980s? Well, the style of NLP used during this period is the tactic most narcissists use. It is basic and not hard to overcome. Simply tell yourself “You” statements.

  • You are a good person.
  • You are deserving and worthy.
  • You are loved.
  • You are born possessing greatness.
  • You are worthy of the life of your dreams.
  • You are worthy of anything you are willing to work towards.
  • You will achieve your goals.

It will only take a month or two of consistently saying “You” statements to realize they are true and feel it in you mind, body, and soul. It takes less than five minutes a day to change your brain. Can you spare five minutes today? How about tomorrow?

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

Check Out My YouTube Video On NLP

Source:

“Narcspeak” IS Neural Linguistic Programing (NLP)

Day 50 Of Running From My Narcissistic Family Cult The Kudearoffs

Today, I reached the 50 day milestone of running from my family cult the Kudearoffs. Never in my life did I think I would do something this important and yet so crazy. On this adventure, I have learned so much about people and their makeup. In this video, I talk about how people may be missing out on knowing they are created good and we all deserve greatness. We are born deserving and worthy of greatness. When you embrace this, then you realize we are all good people.

Please take the time to check out the video.

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

11 Traits Of Cults & Narcissistic Families

Narcissistic families are run much like cults. They believe in brainwashing their members to believe the world is to be feared and family is the only thing that will and can save you. When you are born into a narcissistic family cult you know no different or better, so everything seems normal and you assume everyone’s family is similar. No child would assume their family is at the root of their difficulties in life.

Here are 11 traits of cults and narcissistic families:

  • The group(family) displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader, and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth, as law.
  • Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished.
  • The leadership dictates, sometimes in great detail, how members should think, act, and feel.
  • The group(family) is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s), and its members 
  • The group(family) has a polarized, us-versus-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society.
  • The leader is not accountable to any authorities
  • The leadership induces feelings of shame and/or guilt in order to influence and control members. Often this is done through peer pressure and subtle forms of persuasion.
  • The group(family) is preoccupied with bringing in new members.
  • The group(family) is preoccupied with making money.
  • Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities.
  • Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members.

Growing up in a multigenerational narcissistic cult is the experience that scarred me the most. It distances your reality from actual reality, by design, and makes you question yourself and the validity of your feelings for a lifetime. If you are the only one who sees and feels the dysfunction it must be something wrong with you. Understanding the abuse that your mind, body, and soul endured as a result of your narcissistic family cult is the only way towards healing and recovery. These people are not family and they are not motivated by love. Narcissistic family cults merely want to keep you stuck, so you have no other choice but to endure their abuse for a lifetime. Love is not supposed to hurt, you deserve better.

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

IG: https://www.instagram.com/nicole_graves_kudearoff/

Check out my You Tube Channel

Dear Native Americans Of New Mexico

Dear Native Americans Of New Mexico,

If I am going to be able to help either one of us, I am going to need somewhere safe to park in order to create work materials and keep my reproductive organs in tact and functional. I have no clue how to reach out to you all, so I am going to use my family’s gossip. I am not looking to trade anything other than my loyalty and promise to be a good person working towards positive change for us all. My brain and body just need a break after the past 50 days, before I can make any solid larger decisions.

All I need is some time and space to think clearly to figure out how to approach this overwhelming mess from a logical standpoint. If you can help me I would be forever in your debt and will work towards empowering you as I have promised before. I see your worth. Can you see mine?

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

Dear Albuquerque

Dear Albuquerque

Thank you for understanding the severity of the situation we are all in. Dealing with the Kudearoff family is not an easy situation for anyone. It is just something you learn to step back from and look at logically without emotions.

So, there are two options. Option one is you sign up to destroy me, you fail, and then they destroy you. Option two is you just live your life and leave me be, while I partake in exploring my potential and healing Autism/Asperger’s. Neither option is ideal, but in the later you get the option to have a better life in the end.

I don’t know how many of you know that my people in the group homes are like me and not whatever my family told you they were. We all deserve so much better and we deserve healing. And you deserve to actually meet your children for who they really are that has been stolen and hidden from you.

I desire to heal everyone, including you. There is no reason we are all living in such pain and disillusionment. I am not asking for your help, just for you not to get in my way with your efforts of destruction. Allow me to work with God on my birthright, the way he has shown it to me. Rather than the way my family has perverted it. Now is the time for healing.

Love Always

Nicole Graves

What Happens To Those Who Look At Me Like A Lottery Ticket & Fail?

What happens to those who view me as the lottery ticket that will lead them to their own greatness, but who fail? I told you all about my first boyfriend who is dead, but I have not told you about the many others since then. There has been a very long list, because if my family tried to actually destroy me themselves that would not be very covert, huh? And you all know they hate to get their own hands dirty, in that way they are just like me. However, they make you all do their dirty work. Plus, some of you who look at me like your golden ticket, actually get hurt when I treat you as just another subhuman opportunist.

Let me tell you about a “friend” from the death camp who had already been medically stripped of his erection and continually squirmed his way into my life. Only to get hurt when I looked blankly at him as subhuman when he told me he had cancer. This is what they do to you people and you all sign up for it over and over. They kill you even when you get close to me and fail. No one has survived not being able to destroy me. Do you know how many people that has been in my 40 years? Do you really think you will be the exception to the very longstanding rule? I stopped taking you people seriously a long time ago.

Look at the people from Nevada who not only thought they succeeded at destroying me and pawned me off on Arizona. But also they failed at stopping me from driving through their state on the way back to Oregon proving to everyone I was still alive and not dead as they were told. Do you know what an embarrassment I am to my family merely because I am alive and they got caught in their own arrogant lie? How do you think the people in Arizona are doing right now with their own failure and public embarrassment? My family may have allowed these people a little success and opportunity while they were pleased with their actions. However, do you think they will allow them to keep any of it? You and I both know they will be worse off than when they started for the rest of their lives now.

Why does this make you feel lucky?

Xoxo

Nicole

The Views Or The Gossip?

How many views do I need to get to end this illogical madness of the Kudearoff family(aka my family cult)? There is no certain number. My goal is merely to get the people gossiping. After writing a blog while in the adult industry for almost a decade, I learned that my family may be able to limit my readership. However, they cannot stop people from being like them and gossiping. Reaching the right 100-1000 readers/viewers who just love the gossip is all I really need.

The Kudearoff family has trained you all to spread news with gossip. But what happens when you spread the news of them not being able to handle me? How long till you get to repossess my people from the group homes? How long till you start all your children on low carb diets to reverse the damage that you have allowed? How long till they remove the propane tanks from the public schools and churches?

How long till your dark empathy turns to light?

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

Codependency, People Pleasing, & Addictions

Codependence, people pleasing, and addictions all stem from looking for happiness outside of ourselves. When you are raised to please others first, rather than yourself, life can be a slippery slope to navigate. Learning how to put yourself first is one of the most difficult steps in narcissistic abuse recovery, because it goes against the grain of how we were raised. Growing up with a narcissistic parent, or parents, you understood that your feelings did not matter and if you took a stand to express yourself you regretted it later, because it never turned out well.

Codependency or self-love deficit, as Ross Rosenburg puts it, is the tendency to not be authentic with yourself and/or others. As a child, you were never shown how to unconditionally love and honor yourself. Thus, you seek security and love from others. This pattern often repeats for a lifetime, until there is someone who uses this need for love against us. When the effort and lessons to finally unconditionally love ourselves are less pain and work than staying with someone else who gives us conditional love, only then do we address this issue.

People pleasing is merely an addiction to keeping the peace and getting approval. When you have a parent/parents that deny your emotional reality, you start to do this to yourself as a survival mechanism. This trait/addiction becomes deep-rooted into the person you believe yourself to be. However, in actuality, as a human being you are an emotional creature. Denying this reality is denying who you are as an individual. This leads to all kinds of addictions that may vary, but all stem from looking for comfort outside of yourself.

After a lifetime of not addressing or acknowledging your own feelings, keeping the peace, and looking for approval outside yourself, it is almost unheard of to not have developed some maladaptive coping mechanisms that have become addictions. Addressing these addictions is just as important as acknowledging your feelings. Addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol, they can be anything from working out, shopping, sex, eating, playing video games, people pleasing, ect. What do you do when you feel lonely or depressed? Is it making you a better person or is it holding you back?

Being honest with yourself about addiction is one of the key components of narcissistic abuse recovery. If you cannot admit to having a problem or issue you will not be able to resolve it. This requires digging deep and looking at all aspects of your life and actions. What do you do over and over that hurts you? What do you do that makes you a better human? What do you do that you picked up from your original abuser? What is the motivation behind your actions that you take when on autopilot? Now is the time to ruthlessly question everything.

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

IG @Nicole_Graves_Kudearoff

Twitter @Now_Nizi

YouTube-Spilling the Tea Video

Propane Everywhere In Edgewood New Mexico

After I posted my first YouTube video this afternoon, Edgewood New Mexico lit up the town with propane. They were not just punishing me, but the whole town. But why?

The elementary school here has the biggest propane tank I have seen here so far. And most of the houses have them too. They all just seemed to open their tanks today in an effort to protect their way of life? Why are they punishing the elementary school children? Children are innocent. Why do they feel they need to brainwash and dumb down the children here? What are they hiding?

Why am I such a threat? Do all the children have Asperger’s nowadays due to all the toxins? Or do we give them Asperger’s on purpose so that we can dumb them down and brainwash them and they will still be able to function?

Check out my YouTube video from today:

Love you all

Nicole Graves

Travelers & RV People

I see you stalking me, but you all are not past the point of no return otherwise they would let you have a home. What did you not want to conform with that lead you to the same position I am in? Can you remember when you were like me and taking a stand? Do you really think they will ever allow you to feel secure again without selling out completely? Do you really think that gassing me will get you in their good graces enough to make a difference?

Have you been inside the Walmart lately? Isn’t it nice to breathe clean air while shopping and using the restroom? Do you think they will let you win, when they are loosing so publicly?

Just some questions to ponder.

Xoxo

Nicole

Overthrowing Kudearoff Tradition

I have been trying to escape my birthright since I was four years old. Somewhere along the way before I was born, it got twisted in with the dark side so much it became more of a curse than a birthright. I will never fully understand the why or the how, but I don’t have to. All I have to do is make the most out what I am left with.

I cannot promise anything to you people, other than to work towards positive change for the rest of my life. I look very much forward to the day when I can meet you all and we can talk about love and health. This is something I will not wavier on. However, I cannot promise to get married and have a child. These are things that will take meeting the right people and circumstances. Tradition has never interested me, but revolution has always been an interest of mine. Changing things for the better is something I will always get on board with.

I hope you all can understand my need to be true to myself and stop sacrificing myself for what is in the best interest of the collective. I need to live my personal life for me and make my own heart happy. I am not completely ruling it out, but merely stating that I will no longer be enslaved to my birthright. The second part of my life is mine to live as I choose and I hope you live your life as you choose as well.

You are the master of your own destiny.

Love Always

Nicole

40 Days & 40 Nights

My whole life my family and you people have been trying to tell me I was not human like you all. And in the past 40 days, I have discovered I am not like you all and do not ever wish to be. Everyone has always looked at me like I was missing something, but in reality you all are missing out on a lot. Never in my life have I thought I was better than, just different and determined to be allowed to my differences. If this traditional way of life is making you happy, then by all means continue on with it. However, allow those of us who wish to explore other routes and options to do so without your hate and negativity.

“Forty days was the period from the resurrection of Jesus to the ascension of Jesus”

I could have laid down and died in the death camp 40 days ago and not made you all uncomfortable with my presence. But would my death really have been the answer to any of your problems? Or are you just blameshifting the root of your problems onto me? My family has loved having me as a scapegoat. But what will happen now that I am standing in my power and rejecting the role they have enslaved me to? Now who will they blame their troubles and inadequicies on?

Are you ready to step into your power and value with me? You are worthy and deserving of the life of your dreams. We all deserve greatness in whatever form we deem that to be. Life is meant to be beautiful and filled with love. Life is meant to feel good every dam day!

Let’s explore our potentials together!

Love Always

Nicole Graves

P.S. Do NOT forget the Tony Robins’ Own Your Own Future Challenge starts tomorrow. I hope you will join me, so we can all explore the tools we already have in our toolbox to build with. Everything you need is already inside you.

https://ownyourfuturechallenge.com/freechallenge

Team Z Evil

The world has changed, I can feel, see, and hear it. My Truman Show has changed. The socioeconomic, education, and health levels of the actors has gone dramatically down, along with their familiarity with doing evil. This team is just happy to be in the game with a chance to play finally. It is an interesting dynamic to watch people invest in the ways of the past, rather than embrace the future. It is like those people who tell you about their golden years and refer back to high school, as they sit in an old run down bar just having gotten off from working their blue collar job that reinforces their insignificance.

I bought some more beef from the deli at Smith’s in Edgewood, New Mexico and again it had extacy on it. These people do not understand fasting or many things. 90% of the people and children I have seen today have fatty liver. On the A team of evil, my family allows for some health. These people I have seen today have never known health. It is sad, but I can relate because I was them until I dove deep into healing.

Now do you people understand why they try to feed me ecstasy and lead every chance they get? I notice the little things that most people cannot see. This is why you all have tinted windows and cannot look at me without sunglasses. Are you really proud of what you are doing if you cannot look me in the eyes?

I still choose love even though I know evil better than you.

Love Always

Nicole

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