Sunday July 31st 2022 Moon in Virgo Sun in Leo Sunday Church

Hello Everyone

Thank you joining me. It’s been a rough week for us all. So it’s important we come together and remember we are in this together. We all share this commonality of grieving the lives we thought we had. We need to allow this to bring us together because when we come together we are strong.

I spent the week fasting in the desert and laying in the sun. I love dry heat, it reminds me of Vegas. Vegas will always be my home. Today is day 6 of fasting. I fast to heal my body. With all the destruction of the world and the extra destruction my family brings on me, I have to take care of my body. It’s not easy knowing that if I die I let down a world full of people. I try really hard to remain strong for you all because I know you need it. I’m human though and tonight I had a huge realization about my health that I would like to share with you all.

Since 2017 when my family really started killing me in Vegas, I have had bigger legs than ever before. My legs had always been super tiny before this. Plus my whole life I have had a tummy. Even when I’m 120 pounds I have a chubby tummy I have never been able to get a flat tummy or 6 pack. And I used to work out most days. Tonight after 6 days of fasting I realized what has been happening my whole life but especially since 2017. I have a bad heart. My family creates kidney disease, fatty liver, and heart disease in all of us, but I never realized how bad the heart disease effected me. My ankles swoll up this month or last month, it was within the past 45 days. I have never had swollen ankles before. It was so scary. This is a huge sign of heart disease and heart failure. Fasting was how I got it to go away. When you fast your body heals.

This year I have done more fasting than I ever have in my life. That’s how I’m still alive. My whole life I have tried to eat as little as possible, at least since I was 18. Granted I binge because I’m starving because I’m always being poisoned with stuff that spikes my insulin. But overall I know food will just cause me more problems like when I was young and short, fat, and so sick.

I tell you all this because I am still figuring out the pieces to this puzzle everyday. And its mostly just from realizing my own destruction. I don’t have all the answers, but when I figure something out, the first thing I want to do is share it with you all.

You need to support your kidneys, liver, and heart. In my experience the best way to do this is by fasting. They can’t poison fasting. It’s cheap, its literally free. You dont have to do a 6 day fast. Maybe start with doing a 23 hour fast and only eating one meal a day. Or cut back to two meals a day within a 6 hour eating window. Just do better and for heavens sake try to snack. Snacking is pure destruction to your body. Human beings aren’t meant to snack. Snacking became a thing in the 1989s when my Dad came into power. People in the 1970s didn’t snack.

So there are probably some new people joining us tonight. Thank you for finding me and us. There is so much to explain, so much. But how about I give you all the over simplified cliffsnotes version. This is all super oversimplified so please do not take it lightly at all. Here we go

What you need know

1.My birthrights trump everyone’s. I am second on the Graves side of the family. second on the Kudearoff side of the family, and both my parents are #2s. Plus, my Dads older sister does not have children and has never been married. So I inherit her birthrights from the Graves & Bennit family. My grandma Laverne Lippe(originally Bennit) and her two parents Mr. and mrs Hitler. Plus my Grandpa D. Amanda Graves and his two parents. That’s 6 from my Dads side. Plus, I inherit my Mom and Dads birthrights. By birthright I am more powerful than both my Dad and Brother or anyone in the Kudearoff family, even my Aunt Lana. She only has my grandma Kudearoff’s birthright. Grandpa Kudearoffs went to my uncle Nick that’s why he was killed.

2. Learned helplessness is a lie. It’s a systemic Candida & C Diff bacteria infection. You are powerful, you just have an infection. And you probably inherited it from your Mom, so you have never known how powerful you truly are.

3. There is a covert genocide of Hispanic, Black, Italian, and Asian people, but it is done using food so it effects us all.

4. The systems are set up to hijack your humanity by changing the way you process Oxytocin. This inhibits your ability to feel love and enables you to commit crimes against humanity more willingly

5. There is a worldwide epigenetic trigger of Autism, Dyslexia, other learning disabilities, and all chronic illness. This is done with many factors, but the main two are omega 3 to omega 6 ratios and antibiotics. Autism is caused by the antibiotic resistant bacteria called C Diff. This is also what causes addiction because it changes the way your brain processes dopamine.

6. Due to all the negative epigenetic triggers we are experiencing our children are born with gene mutations. So every generation is a lesser than version of human. If you have kids you are helping my family create their very own slave race. This is why they hand out privilege for having children.

7. The systems are set up to make us all fail. No amount of privilege will save you from the destruction of the systems. Even the people who created the system of destruction cannot escape from the destruction of the systems they created. My Dad is dying from colon cancer from the food system and C Diff.

8. I escaped a death camp in southern Arizona and started this revolution in March 2021, you need to join. I have presented this news update to people from the Mexico border all the way up to Bellingham, Washington.

9. I need your help spreading awareness, especially to the younger generations 90’s kids and younger. These are the people who are impacted the most by the epigenetic triggers and gene mutations.

10. Your gut bacteria is warred on by all the systems creating brain damage and damage to your Amygdala which causes you to be in a constant state of unconscious fear. This is to keep you small.

11. I am looking for alliances in this revolution and new world, both overt and covert.
I have the words for the destruction, the knowledge on how to heal and the power to change everything. Plus, I have built a revolutionary army that surpasses all divisions of people who believe in potential. It’s literally an army of the best and the brightest.

12. The Kudearoffs are currently without power. My Moms generation outlived their power. They killed my Grandma Kudearoff when she was almost 58. My Mom turns 66 this summer. My generation does not walk into their power till after my Moms generation dies. So they are without power in this moment.

13. Stay tuned for more information updates I need to be able to communicate with you all so I can help you overcome the destruction of the systems.

14. Water is the greatest tool of destruction, disease, and brainwashing. Not only does water have poisons and the wrong ph and spike your insulin, but the chlorine and antibiotics in it allow for our bodies to be drained of zinc and magnesium. These are the cofactors needed to produce enzymes in our bodies. Without enzymes we are unable to absorb nutrients from our food. This is why we are a world of overweight people who are starving/malnourished. Also, when people are malnourished they are more susceptible to suggestion and brain washing. And malnourished people enjoy the pain of others because their brains are not getting what they need to function correctly. So with every shower you take your humanity is going down the drain.

15. My Dad covertly started world war 3 in about 1978. He and my family plan on building the Mexican Berlin wall soon.

So in this revolution and in the past 488 days I have won over everyone in the war games. Every group of people within the war games has chosen to be revolutionary with me. Also I have won over my Dads military army. They too were not okay with the destruction. The professional cult my Dad has created is all that is left fight this war for him. Many of them have dropped out, but he keeps recruiting new members. So here we are being revolutionary, all of us together. Even though the war games seek to divide us my revolution is based on us all coming together.

In this moment we are faced with two systems colliding. We need to figure out which way to go. On one hand we have the war games with checks and balances in place. Even if we don’t agree with everything the war games stand for we need to appreciate the checks and balances that keep us all safe in ways we have taken forgranted. Because on the other hand we have my Dad who has used his game in the covert war to create a cult and become a dictator. He has found a way around his birthrights. He was never intended to have this much power. His sister is the one with the fancy birthrights and I’m the one who inherited those birthrights from her. However we are both held hostage and kept small by my Dads professional cult. He lies to people, brainwashes them, and creates disease in their bodies. He is not a leader. He is a cult leader. There is such a big difference. A real leader wants good for the people who trust and follow them. A real leader doesn’t need to brainwash people, they just talk to people and be real. We all have issues we need to overcome. Life is about overcoming hardships. However a cult leader creates hardships.

So where do we go from here? I’m the most powerful lady in the war games and I have had to win you all over group by group, location by location. I did not even fully realize the meaning of my birthrights till a couple months ago. This whole revolution is based on us all deserving better because we do. I don’t care who you are or what group you belong to, you deserve better. I want you to not only know that but I want you to feel that in your heart and soul. You have been short changed and you deserve better.

However the question we are all faced with now is how do we go about getting better for us all? Well, we talked about this last night but let me paraphrase. My asperger’s make me logic based so I’m constantly thinking about why. However the beauty of you alls dyslexic gene mutations and epigenetic triggers is they make you all creative brain based so you all are always thinking about how. My whole life I have made lemonade out of lemons. This is where you all help me make lemonade. You all were literally designed to help me solve this problem. I was designed to find the problem, figure out my birthrights, and find a way to connect with you all. Now it’s your turn to fulfill your destiny. It’s a big destiny but if you break it down into smaller pieces like I did mine, it’s not so overwhelming. Let me tell you all what I think.

First we all need to put our differences aside. We are all the same because we want our children to be able to have human children rather than a subhuman slave race. Also, we all do not agree to all the epigenetic triggers of the world that turn us into things we all did not agree to. We all may live differently, vote differently, and dream differently. But we all share these commonalities. We can be different and still come together and work on a project that will allow us all to be better.I dont kniw about you all, but I like logic and order. The war games provide this way more than a dictator with no checks and balances.

I also know I am the key to this revolution. I’m not being selfish I’m being factual. I need to reproduce and create an heir for my birthrights so they dont fo to my brother when I die. I’m the key to this revolution. If I wasn’t my Dad would not have kept from the world so much. And he certainly would not be doing everything in his power to kill me as he is now. I have survived 488 days of the unthinkable and a life of unthinkable. I’m going to keep going. But honestly I’m tired and I really need some people overtly in my corner. I know the world is rooting for me, but I need some overt help. I dont need saved, I just need some help.

Honestly that’s as far as I have gotten. I’m not built to figure out how. But you all are. I know if I keep talking to you all more people in the professional cult will drop out, but my Dad will always recruit new members. And I think some people have jobs of privilege that they would loose if they chose not to do my Dads bidding. That’s the thing about privilege, it can be taken away in a heartbeat.

So one thing everyone can do is make sure everyone who is not in the professional cult really understands what is happening and what my Dad does to people. He gets the stick in their reptilian brains using success rather than love. He has them focus on survival aka success food drinks and sex because this prohibits them from thinking logically and for themselves. It’s a lot easier to be a cult leader when no one questions you. Always question authority. Even leaders need to be logical and have good reasoning. It’s not disrespectful to want to know the reason behind what you are being asked to do. It’s okay to ask why. It’s okay to need to know the full story. You know who didn’t know the full story? The SS soldiers in world war 2 or the farmers today. The farmers today have been carrying out the covert genocides of my Dad’s bidding because they were forced to by the professional cult, but also I dont believe they fully understood the magnitude of their actions. They aren’t awful people. They are human just like us. We all make mistakes, we are fallible as humans. We just have to learn from our mistakes and do better.

My Grandma Kudearoff was a short short lady. She was less than 5 foot tall, but her presence was huge. She had no problem telling people they were wrong and they made a mistake. But in the same breath she would tell them to do better with love. And you know what people did better and they respected her for calling them out. You can love people and respect them and tell them they need to do better. We all need people like this in our lives. I am far from perfect. I’m human. But I do offer you all my unconditional love. I work really hard on forgiving the people who have done me wrong because everyone in my life has done me wrong. It takes me some time but normally I am able to find forgiveness and work my way back to unconditional love. We all have things we need to work on. We all have room to grow and become better. However in this moment in history we need to unconditionally love one another and come together to create the world we need. Its not just the world we want, it’s the world we need.

I’m unsure of how I have been able to reach all of you not on the west coast. However I know it has to do with my favorite communication hub Salem and other communication hubs and I think Ham radio. I need you all to use these communication tools to figure out how to work together to find a solution and our next steps. And while you all do that I’m going to work on my health some more, find another job, and keep overcoming all the destruction and poisons. I know I’m asking a lot of you all, but I really need some partners in this revolution and I think I have done a lot of the heavy lifting to get us all started. Fir a lady who did not know about the war games 488 days ago I have moved mountains.

By the way if you are new I write a blog

This is where I transcribe all my important talks and do a lot of rambling too. Please connect yourself so we can communicate. One day I will be able to hear you all talk too, but fir now we do the best we can.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Sunday July 31st 2022 Moon in Virgo Sun in Leo Sunday Church Tonight

Its time for Sunday church tonight with all the farmers and anyone who wants to tune in. After the week we had, we all deserve some hope. Salem and all the other people involved in communication hubs, I need your help. Please help me connect with all the farmers nationwide especially the Hispanic farmers. The more people in the know the easier it will be for us to overcome this all. And it’s a lot so we can use all the help we can get.

I know everything feels overwhelming and many of you feel like your world fell apart on top of you, but it’s going to be okay. Yes, change has to occur and change is scary. But we are going to be okay. The first step to solving any problem is awareness. It hurts but this is for your best interest. The longer you took to find out the more damaged your epigenetics would be and the harder it would be to recover.

So tonight around 8pm west coast time get everyone to tune in. Coast to coast I need the farmers and decision makers to tune in. We all need to come together and tonight we come together to give each other some hope.

See you all tonight.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Saturday July 30th 2022 Moon in Virgo Sun in Leo Recap Of Destruction

Earlier today when I reminded you all this isn’t just about the Hispanic genocide and/or the Mexican Berlin wall I seemed to have made progress. The world went quiet, people near me stayed in their homes more, and the Diesel trucks that are forever driving by got louder. This revolution is about saving yourself, but in order to save yourself you have to come to terms with the fact that we all deserve better. You dont deserve to save yourself at the cost of someone else. We are all equal and we all have been destroyed since before birth. However, since my Dad took over the destruction has been exponential and if we dont correct it soon we never will be able to recover. Whether it be world war 3 or on a gene level. Your children are not going to have human offspring. I hope that scares you straight because it freaks me out and I don’t have children or the same gene mutations as you all. Are you scared? I sure hope so because you need to be.

I’m going to read you a list of things that destroy us that we rarely think about. It’s about 59 things and I’m going to elaborate a bit on some of them. But I want you to grasp the severity of the Truman show you live in. Your whole life has been a lie, just like mine. Just a different lie with different gene mutations. However it’s all still a lie. Just because there is not a covert overt wall going up around white people there is still a genocide taking place. We all are experiencing genocide in a genetic and epigenetic level. You are being warred on and killed everyday. Do you get that? Everyday you are being killed. However you rarely notice it because you have been conditioned and brainwashed not to see it. Plus it has been happening for 4 decades and even before that. So listen up, take notes if you need to, and let me open your eyes to the world we really live in.

  1. Epigenetic triggers of Autism, Dyslexia, other learning disabilities, Diabetes, and all chronic illnesses
  2. Covert genocide of all races, but especially Hispanic, Italian, Asian, and Black
  3. Dysfunctional processing of Oxytocin by the way our society is set up-this steals our humanity and allows for crimes against humanity more willingly
  4. All the systems are set up to make us all fail-even if we profit from one system we still are set up to fail by all the others
  5. Romantic love and marriage are sold to us as distractions, but what we are sold is not attainable
  6. Health is sold to us in an unattainable version
  7. Carb filled diets are sold to us as a way to keep us manageable, small, and create disease-thus getting us to buy into the other systems more willingly
  8. Marriage is a lie, because we value destruction rather than love and women are not viewed as equals
  9. We are kept in a stressed state to keep us in our reptilian brain-this keeps us small and limits our emotional spectrum
  10. Food, Drinks, and Sex are used as distractions and addictions to keep us in our reptilian brains and keep us small and manageable
  11. Potential is not an option, it is an unattainable uphill battle used as a distraction
  12. Houses are created to distract us for a lifetime and create disease
  13. Medical industry is created to enslave us not heal us, but gets us to buy into learned helplessness
  14. Candida overgrowth is created in our bodies by society, Standard American diet, antibiotics, modern medicine, and public schools to make us accept learned helplessness on a biological level.
  15. Leaky gut is created to keep us malnourished, thus keeping us small, manageable, and diseased

16.. We are conditioned to accept manageable life situations and relationships to keep us small, manageable, and diseased

  1. Fear tactics are used against us to keep us small, manageable, and diseased
  2. Misinformation and withholding of information is used to keep us small, manageable, and diseased
  3. People with Cluster B Personality Disorders run the systems/world and convince the masses an intact emotional spectrum is weak and dysfunctional
  4. We all live in a Truman Show just to varying degrees, depending on how much we are taking part in the destruction of everything and everyone
  5. Our bodies are biologically used as weapons against us by the systems
  6. You are made not to feel at home in your body so you constantly seek comfort outside yourself, thus supporting the systems that aim to destroy you

23.The Stock Market and alternative currencies are used as a tool and mirage to aid in the game of financial domination the systems play with us all

24.We are sold conformity as the only way to gain control over our lives, but we are expected to conform to people who are mentally ill(cluster b personality disorders)

  1. Not only are our diets used to destroy us, the foods themselves have been genetically modified and created in labs to destroy us painfully by creating disease
  2. The environment we all live in creates fatty liver and estrogen dominance to make us more manageable, small, and diseased. Plus, addicted.
  3. Viruses and world events are created to make us live in a fear state and buy into learned helplessness and thinking that the systems are the ones that can save us
  4. Reproduction and Pregnancy are used to keep women small, manageable, diseased, and invested in learned helplessness and accepting of their place as second class citizens
  5. The epigenetic trigger of Dylexia steals your quantum field-taking away your ability to access and create limitless potential
  6. Marketing, television, advertising, social gatherings, sports, etc are used to keep us seeking social norms and to keep us distracted, small, manageable, and diseased
  7. Our traditions and values are used as weapons against us to keep us small, manageable, and diseased
  8. Insulin resistance is created by numerous systems and leads to malnutrition-thus keeping us small, manageable, and diseased
  9. We are sold the idea that destroying others is the only way to save ourselves, but when we destroy others we are destroying ourselves, because the systems of destruction do not allow for anyone to escape the destruction
  10. Emotional addiction is used to keep us all controlled, small, manageable, and diseased
  11. When we access our quantum field as a collective we have more power than the systems ever will-this is why group meditation changes the world
  12. Any comfort offered to us is a means to destroy us and keep us small, manageable, and diseased
  13. We live in fear of having our comforts and privilege taken away. We spend our whole lives living in this fear because it is never escapable. The systems do not want you to experience real comfort and security
  14. Your gut bacteria and microbiome are used against you as a weapon to control your body, mind, and spirit. This is why hand sanitizer exists and antibacterial soap
  15. Our epigenetics are negatively impacted so our children are born with gene mutations that cannot be reversed
  16. The worldwide systems are made up of different groups of people who wish to enslave their own people because their privilege would not exist without others being enslaved more than themselves
  17. Since the 1990’s the Dyslexic epigenetic trigger has been impacting almost everyone born and yet the systems are not set up to value what they have to offer(creative brain based)

42The worldwide systems are just more covert in some places and more overt in others

  1. Everyone is trauma bonded to the systems that have destroyed them-this is why people who have experienced the most pain still sign up to fight this war when called upon
  2. We are all sold the idea that having humanity is weak, rather than the true strength it is
  3. Shame is used to keep us all small and believing there is something wrong with us, that we are defective
  4. Absolutely No One is immune to the destruction of the systems-even the leaders die from terminal illnesses-there is no buying your way out
  5. Estrogen dominance is used as a weapon against us all because it allows cancer to grow quicker and allows for our brains to reinforce addictive behaviors more
  6. Fasting kills cancer, but doctors cannot recommend it as treatment because they are under orders to practice medicine rather than healing
  7. Shame causes OCD and Perfectionism keeping us stuck in our heads and distracted, small, manageable, and diseased

50 Our potentials have been stolen from us all, but we accept that we are the reason we do not succeed to the level that we are destined to

  1. We are not taught how to accept things because then we would find a solution. We are taught learned helplessness to keep us paralyzed and victims
  2. We have the power to overcome this covert war because who we are is dictated by the small everyday things we do.
  3. We each are special individuals who are born for greatness, the war games and conformity steals this from us
  4. Public schools are used to force us to conform and break us as children to prepare us for a lifetime of destruction by the systems

55.. Religion is used as a weapon. God and love are used against us all.

  1. Munchausen by proxy is accepted as “normal” even though to destroy another we destroy ourselves first
  2. Life is supposed to be easy and put us at ease. Yet, we allow the sysetms to complicate every aspect of our lives
  3. There is a time and a place for vicious. Instead of being vicious with the systems that destroy and enslave us all, we are being vicious with each other
  4. High carb diets are used to spike our insulin and blood glucose levels so we are addicted to our feelings keeping us more manageable. This allows for malnutrition which makes us more susceptible to brain washing and suggestion making us more manageable.

Okay so that was just some of the destruction we face on a daily basis. This revolution is about saving ourselves. We all need saving. No one is exempt from the destruction. No amount of privilege will save you. In all honesty privilege is more likely to destroy you quicker. This revolution is not about standing up another its about standing up for ourselves. However in order to do this we have to be a United front and say we all deserve better. The epigenetic triggers dont discriminate. They effect all races and all sub groups. We can’t eliminate them for one group and not another. We can’t eliminate for one country and not another. We are all connected. We all live in the same world. We all deserve better. That means you, no matter who you are. You deserve better.

Tonight, go to the quantum field. Breath lay down or sit down leave your eyes open or close them. There is no right or wrong way to manifest in the quantum field as long as you just focus on what you desire to create. After finding all this out, what do you wish to create? Dont think about how, that will come naturally after you decide what you want to create and what that will feel like. The feeling and emotion connected to the desire is what energetically draws the experience to us like a magnet. You are energy and you are a magnet. Hiwever, this has been kept from you do you dont realize your power.

In the next hour I want you all to think about what you desire, and feel it. Take a minute take 5 or take 30 minutes just do it. How often have you consciously created your life? And how often have you just accepted what you were handed? Let’s consciously create the world we want to live in together. We are in control of this show. The war games are just all smoke and mirrors. See through the illusion and realize you are the one with all the power. The war games would need to steal your power if you were weak. You are the one with the power.

See you on the other side in the quantum field.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Saturday July 30th 2022 Moon in Leo Sun in Leo Your Good Life

I understand I’m different than you all in countless ways. However, the main difference is I was never allowed to have a “good” life like you all. I was held hostage and I still am. But this has allowed me to see through the mirage that my Dad uses to keep you all manageable. Allow me to share my viewpoint and please excuse me if it sounds harsh and/or hurts a bit. The truth often hurts. Not many people can handle the truth. Most would rather live in ignorance in their lies.

  • You are infected with a bacteria that gives you Autism. This makes your nervous system more sensitive allowing for you to be controlled with your external environment. It also allows for you to attach to things more than people allowing for materialism and capitalism to rule not only your life but the world. This bacteria also makes it so you are designed and predispositioned to be an addict because c diff changes the way your brain processes dopamine. So not only will you connect with things more than humans, you will become addicted to them. And the more of a C diff infection you have the more you will pass it on to your children who you will never be able to connect with as well as you do things. Autism and C diff is a means to control you, your life, your preferences, your nervous system, your support system, and every other facet of your life. Not to mention it causes great disease and allows for many people to live in pain of chronic illness, autoimmune disease, and it kills people before their time. Yes, c diff is a main contributing factor to autoimmune diseases of all kinds. This is why they have risen in numbers so greatly within the past 4 decades since my Dad has been in power. And have you noticed it’s mostly people who are involved heavily in the war games or are born into families involved in the war games who are most likely to get autoimmune diseases.
  • How about the Dyslexic epigenetic triggers and gene mutations, what do you all think about them? Do you believe them to be making you a stronger person? Dyslexia makes you creative brain based. This means logical thought is hard and/or almost nonexistent in your brain. Asperger’s makes me logical brain based, creativity is really hard for me and something I have spend my whole life trying to learn. And honestly I still stuck at it. When I back fired on my Dad that’s when he started with the Dyslexic epigenetic triggers and gene mutations. Around 1984/1985 and then after 1990 he upped the ante and increased them many fold. Dyslexia means when you are told to do something you will not question why you are doing something. Instead you will focus on how to carry out the something. You will never question the orders you are given. You all are the super soldiers my Dad has always wanted. My Brother is dyslexic and has many gene mutations. He is the one who takes orders and never questions anything. Just like you all, right?
  • The multiple epigenetic triggers that we experience everyday cause gene mutations in your children along with disease, chronic illnesses and terminal illness. I’m not talking a few, I’m talking 100s a day. There is no avoiding all the epigenetic triggers. Sure you can avoid some with great effort but you will never be able to avoid them all. These make your children a subhuman species. Your children are not even human and you did it to them. Sure it may not have been conscious but you did it. Their children will be so far from human because epigenetic triggers and gene mutations do not just add up they multiply exponentially. Your grandchildren will be diseased their whole lives even worse than your children. And logical thought will be nonexistent in their lives. Even more so than it is in your life and your children’s lives.
  • Let’s talk about dysfunctional processing of Oxytocin and humanity hijacking. Oxytocin is often referred to as the love hormone. But really it’s just an intensifyer. You know all the women who get extremely bad stretch Mark’s from pregnancy and are unable to breast feed? This is from dysfunctional oxytocin processing. Pregnancy and breast feeding are the times or instances we produce the most oxytocin. When you are dysfunctionally processing it, it creates a cortisol response. Instead of feeling love you feel stressed and your fight or flight response kicks in. You know social anxiety? That’s really just dysfunctional processing of oxytocin. People are supposed to make you feel good. You aren’t supposed to be stressed out by being around people. We are pack animals, we belong together. However, if my Dad can get you to isolate yourself you will be easier to control. The world will be easier to control of we give up community. A pack animal is vulnerable when it strays from its pack.
  • Is it really a good life when the food you purchase is the largest tool in the covert genocides my Dad wages? Even if you get food without extra poisons, it’s still genetically and biologically modified to kill people and create great disease. If you are sick you will be quicker to accept learned helplessness because you do not know how to heal yourself. When your sick and your body is not working correctly, you will look outside yourself for the answer. If my Dad can keep you looking outside yourself for the answer you will continue to be the perfect soldier because you won’t question what you are told. This is why the medical industry does not seek to heal, but rather to enslave. They dont want you better, your a better soldier when your sick.
  • Let’s talk about your good life that you have an amazing home in. Did you know that houses are made out of multiple toxic building materials? This is why Leed certification buildings exist. They are basically buildings that are not designed to kill us. So you live in a home that you love but it is designed to kill you and create disease. It normally takes a family or person 30 years to payoff a home. So basically a lifetime. Maybe if houses weren’t designed to kill us and create disease it wouldn’t take a lifetime to pay them off? There are so many things in your home and outside of it that are acts of destruction. Your mattress has fir retardant on it, this is poison. You have grass in your yard. Grass pollen overloads your kidneys. When you have allergies that’s because your kidneys are not able to filter all the toxins in your body. All the toxins in your home allow for your kidneys to be over burdened. When your kidneys are over burdened C diff thrives and exponentially multiplies in your body. So your home that you think is your sanctuary from the toxic world is really killing you. It is changing who you are on an epigenetic level.
  • Let’s talk about water. Your good life has good water right? No it doesn’t. Even if you filter your water and get clean water without poison, it still has the wrong ph. You know how they say not to go swimming for 30 minutes after you eat? That’s because of the ph of the water. Even natural bodies of water have been altered to have too alkaline of a ph. This is why when you spend the day swimming and in the water you are so hungry afterwards. The ph changes your ph. Not to mention all the chlorine and antibiotics in the tap water drain out bodies of zinc and magnesium which are the cofactor fir enzymes. If you can’t produce enzymes you will not be able to absorb the nutrients from your food. This leaves you vulnerable to brain washing and suggestion because malnourished people are easier to brain wash. Plus, malnourished people enjoy the pain of others. If you enjoy the pain of others you need to nourish your body with healthy food but mostly vitamins and enzymes. It only takes a few months to get back to being human. You aren’t supposed to enjoy the pain of others. However if you do, it will be way easier for my Dad to get you to carry out unspeakable acts of destruction against others. How do you feel about showering and taking your kids to swimming lessons now? Not quite what you signed up for huh?

I could go on literally all day talking about the destruction and how your good life is really just a lie and mirage. No one has a good life no matter how much we lie to ourselves. We are pack animals, but in this world my Dad has created we destroy one another every day. That goes against the laws of nature and humanity. That effects your epigenetics everyday. I understand you want to preserve what you believe to be a good life. Because its something you have worked for your whole life. You were raised to obtain the life you have. And yet it was all a lie and brainwashing. It’s hard to see through the veil. But your survival depends on it. Your children’s lives depend on it. But especially your grandchildren’s Gene’s depend on it. This is a revolution to fight to stay human on a gene level. Yes we deserve better, but we also deserve to be human and not the subhuman species my Dad is creating to make up his slave race. I dont want to be a slave anymore, how about you?

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Friday July 29th 2022 Moon in Leo Sun in Leo A Search For Allies

Hello Everyone

This is Nicole D Graves. I appreciate you all tuning in. I have some really important information to share with you all. Surprise I’m not dead! I don’t know where to start. So I’m going to start with about 486 days ago. 486 days ago I escaped a death camp in southern Arizona. I was never supposed to leave there alive. My whole life I was never told about the war games or my family’s place in it because I have the birthrights to change everything. See I have Asperger’s genius and my family was unable to sell me on illogical destruction. So they have been trying to kill me for over three decades. It’s been quite a life to say the least.

However, I’m here talking to you today because I have figured out the war games and the destruction my family commits and is planning to commit. Everyday I figure out more pieces to the puzzle of my life. Did you all know my Grandma Kudearoff was involved with the Mob and my Dad enslaved these people when she was murdered? My Dad tells people he is giving them privilege but really it’s just a way to enslave them for a lifetime. Plus he doesn’t believe in potential so the privilege he hands out doesn’t go far. And all the mob and mafia connections to my family are why I dont like Sacramento. Its ruled by the mob and mafias. What a crazy world we live in right?

Back on topic, so I’m going to give you a run down if what’s currently happening. I dont kniw how many of you all have been tuned in or even knew I am alive. Honestly this is the first time I have asked for the east coast to tune in. By the way thank you for staying up late for this. Ok so take notes because this is all overwhelming and you need to remember it all. If you know how you are being destroyed you can avoid it.

What you need know

  1. My birthrights trump everyone’s. I am second on the Graves side of the family. second on the Kudearoff side of the family, and both my parents are #2s. Plus, my Dads older sister does not have children and has never been married. So I inherit her birthrights from the Graves & Bennit family. My grandma Laverne Lippe(originally Bennit) and her two parents Mr. and mrs Hitler. Plus my Grandpa D. Amanda Graves and his two parents. That’s 6 from my Dads side. Plus, I inherit my Mom and Dads birthrights. By birthright I am more powerful than both my Dad and Brother or anyone in the Kudearoff family, even my Aunt Lana. She only has my grandma Kudearoff’s birthright. Grandpa Kudearoffs went to my uncle Nick that’s why he was killed.

2. Learned helplessness is a lie. It’s a systemic Candida & C Diff bacteria infection. You are powerful, you just have an infection. And you probably inherited it from your Mom, so you have never known how powerful you truly are.

3. There is a covert genocide of Hispanic, Black, Italian, and Asian people, but it is done using food so it effects us all.

4. The systems are set up to hijack your humanity by changing the way you process Oxytocin. This inhibits your ability to feel love and enables you to commit crimes against humanity more willingly

5. There is a worldwide epigenetic trigger of Autism, Dyslexia, other learning disabilities, and all chronic illness. This is done with many factors, but the main two are omega 3 to omega 6 ratios and antibiotics. Autism is caused by the antibiotic resistant bacteria called C Diff. This is also what causes addiction because it changes the way your brain processes dopamine.

6. Due to all the negative epigenetic triggers we are experiencing our children are born with gene mutations. So every generation is a lesser than version of human. If you have kids you are helping my family create their very own slave race. This is why they hand out privilege for having children.

7. The systems are set up to make us all fail. No amount of privilege will save you from the destruction of the systems. Even the people who created the system of destruction cannot escape from the destruction of the systems they created. My Dad is dying from colon cancer from the food system and C Diff.

8. I escaped a death camp in southern Arizona and started this revolution in March 2021, you need to join. I have presented this news update to people from the Mexico border all the way up to Bellingham, Washington.

9. I need your help spreading awareness, especially to the younger generations 90’s kids and younger. These are the people who are impacted the most by the epigenetic triggers and gene mutations.

10. Your gut bacteria is warred on by all the systems creating brain damage and damage to your Amygdala which causes you to be in a constant state of unconscious fear. This is to keep you small.

11. I am looking for investors in this revolution and new world, both overt and covert alliances
I have the words for the destruction, the knowledge on how to heal and the power to change everything. Plus, I have built a revolutionary army that surpasses all divisions of people who believe in potential. It’s literally an army of the best and the brightest. With financial backing and support we unstoppable.

12. The Kudearoffs are currently without power. My Moms generation outlived their power. They killed my Grandma Kudearoff when she was almost 58. My Mom turns 66 this summer. My generation does not walk into their power till after my Moms generation dies. So they are without power in this moment.

13. Stay tuned for more information updates I need to be able to communicate with you all so I can help you overcome the destruction of the systems. I have a blog where I publish all my talks. Get everyone to tune in.

14. Water is the greatest tool of destruction, disease, and brainwashing. Not only does water have poisons and the wrong ph and spike your insulin, but the chlorine and antibiotics in it allow for our bodies to be drained of zinc and magnesium. These are the cofactors needed to produce enzymes in our bodies. Without enzymes we are unable to absorb nutrients from our food. This is why we are a world of overweight people who are starving/malnourished. Also, when people are malnourished they are more susceptible to suggestion and brain washing. And malnourished people enjoy the pain of others because their brains are not getting what they need to function correctly. So with every shower you take your humanity is going down the drain.

P.S. If one of you all can help me become a National news update so I can reach all the people I would super appreciate it. Or if you can get me back into all the grocery store news updates I would appreciate that. Anyway you can help me reach more people I appreciate it.

I warned you it would be a lot, but I don’t think most people expect it to be so much. Even when they know and take part in the destruction. No one is ever told the whole story. This is why my belief in freedom of information is so revolutionary and upsetting to my family.

I asked all the Argentinians here tonight because I need to discuss with you all what my Dad is doing and what he is planning. Once again it’s a lot, but I need you to remain calm and just breathe through it all. I’m going to try to simplify this as much as possible.

My Dad covertly started world war 3 when he married my Mom. My Dad married into the Kudearoff family so he could conquer the Soviets. I was a large part of his plan, but I backfired on him because I dont believe in evil or perpetuating pain. When the Berlin wall came down my Dad was livid. He arranged for my Mom and her sister to kill me Grandma Kudearoff shortly before or right afterwards. I was young and greatly poisoned because they did not want me to know I was a genius. Its blurry, but the facts are clear. So my Dad was livid about Germany coming back together. He was livid I was not the great evil he had expected. My brother Ryan was born the year after the Berlin wall came down. My Dad decided my brother could be a placeholder for my child and he would wait for me to breed and then kill me. Well, I never had children. I was never married and planned for children. It was illogical to have a child when not prepared. I have been kept small my whole life. So my Dads plan backfired a bit, but he kept on going. After my Grandma Kudearoff was murdered he enslaved all the Kudearoffs and made them do his bidding. He took over my Grandma’s people. He started the destruction we all feel but can’t find the words to easily. My Dad has everything in place to build the Mexican Berlin wall. He is turning the United States democratic and blue. Hes doing it like he told me to do puzzles as I was a kid. You do the edges first and then the rest is easier. Have you looked at a map recently? Almost all the edges are blue. The wall that Trump spoke of, that’s my Dads Mexican Berlin wall. The Hispanic covert genocide is the worst. This is why they have such bad health problems. The others are bad too, but the Hispanic one is the worst. My Dad hates Hispanic people. My Grandma Lippe his Mom is the same way. I’m not sure how my Grandpa Graves felt about the because I only saw him on two occasions in my life. Genocide is however a family tradition. My Great grandfather was Hitler. Look at pictures of my Dad when he was younger compared to Hitler. It’s scary, hes just missing the mustache. I had no clue I was related to the greatest evils of all time. Crazy because Hitler and his wife taught me my love of small dogs. Everyone was just a normal person to me. I am just a normal person to me, except for this really weird past few years.

Let me share some other puzzle pieces. Its overwhelming and I try to put all the pieces together coherently but it’s a lot. So, Florida Argentinians, you all know Anthony Robbins aka Tony Robbins is a cult leader like my Dad right? They are in cahoots. They both use success instead of love to brainwash their cult members. And keep them in their reptilian brains constantly thinking about survival aka success, food, drinks, & sex. When you are constantly in your reptilian brain you are unable to think logically or access the full human experience. It’s pretty genius. I still dont understand it all. But I do know that my Dad preys on AA and NA greatly because they buy into learned helplessness because they have really bad C Diff infections that change the way they process dopamine. And then he gets the hooked on privilege instead of drugs and alcohol. They are easy victims.

I have won over the war games people and the farmers. And I have even gotten my Dads military army to stop fighting this war against me. However I have not been able to find an overt alliance. I need to be kept safe and eventually when the time is right I need to breed to ensure my birthrights dont fo back to the Kudearoffs when I die.

My Dad has created a plan for my family to take over a large Hispanic and biker group. My aunt Nina married their #2 and his older sister does have kids. This will allow for my cousin Jessica to take over the Hispanic and Bikers on the dark side. This will make the farmers in Southern La no longer able to be a check and balance for my Dad. They are the only ones I have found who can tell him no. Yet they are limited because my Dad has the farmers right where he wants them with his professional cult/army. He controls them just like he controls me, by limiting our potential and money making ability.

The southern LA farmers are not willing to team up with me in the overt world even knowing their power will soon disappear and the Mexican Berlin wall will appear. They are scared of my Dad. I dont blame them. He is a scary guy, my whole family is scary.

However, I dont believe in genocide. I dont believe in racism. I dont believe everyone can be okay with a Mexican Berlin wall. I dont know about you all, but I really enjoy going to Mexico. I lived by the Mexican border in southern Arizona. It’s a beautiful place minus the border patrol and all the destruction.

Argentinians I am calling on you all because I can’t believe that you all would want to murder the Hispanic people. There is already a covert genocide, but it’s going to get worse. I need to find people who have fancy birthrights and believe it’s our duty to do the right thing. We need to stand up for all the people who can’t stand up for themselves. We have a say and they dont. We can’t just stand by and watch them lose everything including their lives.

As I write this I have not showered in over two weeks. I have not eaten in almost 5 days to help overcome the poisons. I have lived in my Jeep with my two dogs this revolution. This week my Dad kidnapped one of my dogs, she is 13 years old.

I understand why you all see this as too big and too much to take on. It’s a lot. But the thing is in time I can win over my Dads professional army. I have won the whole west coast coast and most of the war games over the past 486 days. And many of my Dads professional army and cult have dropped out. However he is recruiting more very quickly and frantically because he is loosing traction. My words if truth and wisdom break the spell of his cult. My family raised me to be amazing, but they also brainwashed me instead of interacting with me. I was raised on NLP. The same version Tony and my Dad use. I like to use this to make people amazing. I have been kept small my whole life by the brainwashing dont fo ne. I want to help people not only see their potential but experience it.

I know I’m asking the world when I ask for your help changing the world. But really I’m just a girl asking for help getting a job that helps me explore my potential. I did some research. Argentinians are one of the most educated groups of people. You all understand how amazing it is to know things. I dropped out of high school at 16 to escape my family. I did some community college but never finished, they poisoned me so badly during that time. I have read and studied my whole life whatever I could get my hands on. And apparently that was enough to figure out all these things. I just want to make the world better. I have an Arizona real estate license and an Oregon insurance license. My family will not let me use either. I love sales. I have sold the world on being revolutionary. I just have to sell someone on giving me a chance in the overt world. I need my tribe. I have been alone my whole life and surrounded by my Dads professional cult. Its been really lonely. But he figures if he keeps me like this I will never be able to fulfill my birthrights. I’m the most powerful lady in the war games but until I find my people these birthrights are just disabilities. Please help me change the world. There is so much we can do to make it better. I have moved mountains alone, just imagine what I can do with some support. Can you imagine never getting to use your education? It hurts. More than having your dog stolen.

I don’t know what else to say, but please help me stand up for what is right. There is a world of people out there with no say in this battle. It is our birthrights fo stand up for these people and do better than our ancestors. The world will not recover from world war 3. And we all know the Mexican Berlin wall will be just the beginning. Please join me in being revolutionary. I need some help changing the world.

Love always

Nicole D Graves

Friday July 29th 2022 Moon in Leo Sun in Leo Just Breathe

I figured out why I got so sick while working at B and R Autowrecking. I got upset because they were holding me back and making me be a cashier rather than do the job they hired me for. When you get stressed, anxious, sad, fearful, upset, etc it changes your breathing to a more shallow version. This causes your body to become too alkaline. So yes the showers that I took were a contributing factor, but being upset was the main cause.

I learned this because this week after Teka ran away and got kidnapped my ph has been off. It has been hard trying to cope and be grown up about it all. Teka has needs I can’t fulfill on my own she needs a family. In the past 486 days she was the happiest when we were at my Mom’s house. She had a Grandma, an uncle Ryan, a mom, and a brother Haywood. She lived the attention and she didn’t care that she was being poisoned. Everyone gave her treats and affection and she was in hog heaven. My mom would even go for walks with us most nights. She thrived having a family.

Now she is with someone on the dark side and everyone in the war games has a family. So she has more than one person to love on her and give her attention. Maybe they have kids too. They probably have kids it’s a dark side requirement. I got her to trust people again and live and feel safe and confident in who she is, but I can’t provide the structure and discipline she needs. She hated being at Amber’s when I went to work. Haywood loves it because he gets to go in a room and have him time. Hes more independent. She was so mad and anxious about not being able to be out in the living room with the people and other dogs. She didn’t understand the big dog would eat her. She looked at it as punishment. The kids had their own room in Vegas when I first got Teka. She hated it. I think she was locked in a room a lot during her life and left out. Being at Amber’s brought back all those feelings and she has been so needy since we came to or around February. This is better for her. I can be multiple people. I can’t give her the home she needs. But I’m still mourning. And I just have to breathe so it doesn’t effect my ph balance detrimentally. We had an amazing 5 years with her. We were the good option at the time because me and Hay were better than no one. And her affiliation with me has made her beyond desirable. My Dad wants to break me by hurting my heart, this is nothing new. However now I understand how it works. It’s all about ph balance. This is why everyone in my moms family died after my grandma Kudearoff was murdered. They all got sick and they have never recovered. Ph balance is a big deal. So many things in the systems of destruction aime to throw off your ph balance. The most revolutionary thing you can do is breathe, stay calm, and get some sun, and exercise even if that’s just walking or stretching.

Hay and I are to the 100 hour mark of fasting. We ate going to use this trauma to make us better, both of us. Hay has at least 10 pounds to loose. He was a little skinny thing till his surgery in Arizona. Just like I was til my last surgery in Vegas. We both have C Diff so badly and everything feeds it. The only thing I have found that doesn’t is raw meat, but meat has c diff in it because of the antibiotics that livestock are fed. C diff doesn’t die it just turns to spore form so I’m not sure if sanitizing meat is possible. I dont think cooking it kills the bacteria. It may make it change firm, but it doesn’t kill it. Pork especially bacon is full of C Diff. I dont think most people have as bad of a problem with it because they have a more diverse and strong microbiome. My gut bacteria has been warred on so much. I was on antibiotics most of my childhood. Every time I was sick they took me to get antibiotics. It took me awhile to stop saying I was sick, but I learned that doctors are not the answer. They are the problem. I was never given natural remedies as a child it was always modern medicine which aims to destroy. Educate yourself on how to handle the little things wrong with your health and your children’s health and you will be so much better off.

The cars fighting this war for my Dad have changed so much. Now its anyone who is willing can be accepted. All prerequisites seem to have been removed. However diesel trucks seem to always find their way to the roads around me. They dont get close like the new recruits but they do the drive bys.

I realized today the mob is part Argentinian. When I lived in Vegas my dad took it over a lot. It turned blue. The mob has to be upset about this. They built that city out of nothing. The mob museum in Vegas is amazing everyone needs to go.

I know the mob should scare me, but they dont. My family doesn’t scare me. They are just a bunch of dysfunctional people with more power than they deserve or know how to use properly. I figure if I team up with the mob, they would probably be able to get me a good job. That’s all i really want in the overt world. Everything else will fall into place once I have a good job. I have an interview Wednesday in Eugene for temp clerical work. I just need to earn some money and stop trying to reach my potential when my Dad has ultimate control over my destiny. When I can escape that is the only way I will ever get any kind of potential. And I’m going to have to breed to get it. Dont get me wrong I know it’s the right thing to do, but it’s the scariest thing. How am I going to be able to stay healthy enough to have healthy children. With my c diff infection and my gene mutations my children will have fancy brains and nervous systems just like mine even if I dont use my own eggs.

Sorry Haywood break.

So yeah, I’m scared of being held hostage and having children. But I’m already being held hostage now. So I dont have much to loose. Plus, if I can stop the world from having to endure even more of world war 3, it’s kinda my responsibility to do so. My family for generations has caused suffering. If I can stop the domino effect I can right a lot of wrongs. Funny I didn’t make any of this mess. Yet I’m the one who has to clean it up. I feel like a Mom already.

Tonight is probably the most important talk I will give. Seems like they just keep getting more and more important. The funny thing is I have no clue who I’m talking to. I just hope the right people are tuned in. I have no clue who the Argentinians are, but I know they are some of the most vicious people. They have overactive cortisol so much they have those big shoulders with hunchback. My family gave me a hunchback as a child and in Arizona. It’s a poison they use to make you produce more cortisol all the time. This is how I learned all my self soothing methods and how to be calm. I had to it was a survival mechanism.

I worry that I won’t be able to reach the Argentinians but I know that’s illogical. Salem has never let medown. Plus I know so many other people who are apart of many different communication hubs are tuned in. I know I have something to do with Ham radio. Plus, my Dad started sending all kinds of air traffic overhead last night when I was brainstorming and consulting Google. Its amazing how much information about the war games is on Google.

Its a hot one today, its 106 in Redmond and I’m laying in the grass in the shade with the Hay. I just got him wet and hes laying on my blanket instead of his towel. I missed him. Hes a spoiled boy, but hes nit one to compete for attention. Hes like me. Both of them represent such different sides of me. I need structure just like Teka, but I’m not able to create the structure I desire at the moment. Its rough, but its been like this most of my life. I hope it changes soon. Pray with me that tonight is the night we find our allies to prevent world war 3. And pray I find someone who allows me to be the master of my own destiny. I have all this power and I just want to be the boss of my own life. And I would like a few months to work and relax and really focus on my health. Health is worth fighting for, but it doesn’t need to always be a battle.

Just breathe. And please get all the Argentinians to tune in tonight. Especially the mob. My Dad has declared a covert genocide on them and stolen las Vegas from them. I pretty sure they will be pissed and maybe that’s what we need to find our allies.

Pray with me that everything works out as God planned and that his plan allows for me to find refuge soon. I’m just tired and I deserve a break with my Hay.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Friday July 29 2022 Moon in Leo Sun in Leo Salem I figured It Out!

Salem can you hear me?

I figured out who my Dads enemies are and who our allies are! I dont have to go to Mexico. But I should probably still brush up on my Spanish. It’s the Argentinians. I need you all to get the Argentinians to tune in tonight at 8pm west coast time.

I did some research they live in Las Vegas, Dallas, Houston, znew York City, and all of Florida. Florida has the biggest population of them, more than LA and New York combined.

My Dad has never let me be around a non Hispanic Argentinian before. That’s what his issue was with Mr. Utah, not necessarily that he was black. If I team up with the Argentinians we will be more powerful than my Dad. Plus the people on the east coast are not as scared of him as the people on the west coast because he is not in control of their lives as much and his professional cult is not as powerful in the east coast.

Get everyone to tune in tonight at 8pm west coast time. About 8pm. May not be on the dot. I know you all can do it because when I came up with the idea last night the air traffic got so bad. So get everyone to tune in. Tonight we find our allies to help us stop world war 3.

Thank you all so much and have a great Friday.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Leo New Moon Dear Dad

Dear Dad

Did you know Mom has an affair with Uncle Dave? Just like you had an affair with Aunt Lydia. Did you all just swap partners all the time? Did you know about Mom and Uncle Dave though? I dont think you did. Because I dont think you would have gifted uncle Dave with so much privilege if you had. You dont like to share your toys, but you did unknowingly. It was around the time mom had some kind of surgery when I was like 6. She had a sling on her arm or shoulder. Uncle Dave drove us home from sacred heart hospital.

Not so big and bad now are you. You seem pretty pedestrian. Same problems as everyone else. You and Mom fought for dominance and neither of you could ever really control the other. If you had her under control I would have had the last baby rather than her talking me out if it and getting him to buy me into an abortion. That was the heir you always wanted and it was even white.

You all are quite the pair. No wonder me and Ryan never have found partners in life. We are so freaked out to be like you all.

Good realization for the day.

Love Always

Your Daughter and namesake

Nicole D Graves

Thursday July 28th 2022 Moon in Leo Sun in Leo Dear Salem

Dear Salem

How’s my favorite communication hub doing? Its been awhile. So much has happened since I have seen you all. Its overwhelming.

I last saw you all before I made my trip up to Washington last. There have been several trips everywhere, but I feel like in the most recent trip to Washington I did the most we could ever expect. They are all in with us. It was a hard sell, but I didn’t understand my birthrights fully. So it took some convincing. However, now I realize I have so many more fancy birthrights from my Dad’s side of the family and war games then I ever expected. I have my Grandpa Graves and both his parents. And I have my grandma Lippe aka Bennit and both her parents aka mr and Mrs Hitler. And I have my parents. Talk about fancy. One day I hope for these birthrights to be more than a disability.

Salem, I really needed to talk to you all because you light up my mirror neurons and make my brain produce oxytocin. My mirror Neurons dont work like everyone else’s so I’m not sure why you make them fire. I think its because you really care about me and you have proven it over and over. I can’t thank you all enough for that. You all are special to me. You all jumped on board before I knew anything other than my family lying about me being dead and us all deserving better. Boy how the times have changed. We all still deserve so much better, but we had clue just how much better we deserve.

So I’m sure you all have been keeping up. The Redmond Republican farmers called their people out of this war against me. That was the last group from the war games that I needed to stop hunting me. The only people left are my Dads professional army but we should really call the a cult. And even most of them have dropped out. Now it’s mostly just new recruits. It’s as if they have not been paying attention to what has been going on. It’s weird and frustrating. They are out for privilege and themselves at the price of everyone’s destruction even their own. I don’t understand my Dads cult and I have been surrounded by them for a lifetime. Funny how the military army he had was so much quicker to catch on. And the professional army/cult is supposed to be the educated people. Yet, they are the only ones left fighting for my Dad and against the war games.

So I been meaning to talk to you all about the professional cult. It seems like Salem should be filled with them. And yet you all have sided with me from the get go. Sacramento hates me. They are mostly farmers and professional cult people. From Redding to Seattle it’s mostly good people. The professional army still surrounds us, but I am able to speak logic to you all and you all understand. Sacramento and south was harder. San Francisco was so alive inside even though they are professionals they didn’t seem to be too engulfed in my Dads cult. San Fran was nice. But so was La. You all helped me find the souther La farmers who trump my Dad. I had no clue what I had done last November but wow I accomplished the unthinkable again without knowing it. Pretty cool huh?

So world war 3 and the Mexican Berlin wall. What are you all’s thoughts. I’m not for it, but I’m having a heck of a time finding some back up. I understand a world war is overwhelming. But we are at war. It’s not a matter if if, we are here. It’s a matter of should we fight it should we roll over and play dead. You all are fighters and I love that about you all. I’m a fighter too. Someone has to be because we still deserve so much better than all this.

I found the Southern LA farmers and they helped me get most of the professional cult to drop out but my Dad is recruiting to get his numbers back up. Its people who are blinded by privilege. They can’t see past themselves and what they want and desire in this moment. I dont have time to teach them love and get them to see the error of their ways. After being revolutionary for 485 days I know that’s a year long project. I will work on it, but that can’t be my only plan of attack.

I have asked all the farmers to team up with me, but especially the southern LA farmers because my Dad has a plan in place to knock them out of power with the next changing of the guard. When that happens my Dad and Brother and whoever else my Dad has lined up to be in control will have no more checks and balances. None whatsoever. Talk about scary. However, no one seems to understand that this will be the end of us all. The only way the Southern LA farmers can stop this is by breeding with me to create a child to rule the war games who is Hispanic and non Hispanic south American and super fancy. You would think they would appreciate me offering to do something for them my Dad has been dying to get me to do for him for a lifetime. However they are scared of him. And I get it, hes scary. But hes even scarier without checks and balances to keep him in line somewhat. He always breaks the rules, my whole family does.

So Salem, I need your help I dont kniw where to go from here. I mean I know in my overt life I’m going to go back to Eugene/Springfield and get a job that’s designed to keep me small and destroy me. But where do I go with this revolution from here? Who are my Dad’s enemies besides the farmers? I know there is the middle east, but I have to be honest they kind of scare me. I’m not afraid of evil people but they scare me. I dont think that’s a good move.

Can you all get information to Argentina? I know I have family there. They are going to be blocked out by the wall my Dad is building. I know I am safer in Argentina. To them I will represent hope and freedom. It’s scary to think about going so far out if my comfort zone. I dont speak Spanish well. But I can learn. My family in Argentina has to have some people here in the states. Where are they? Where are the white south Americans? I saw some north of La but south of Sacramento and San Francisco. Are all the South Americans farmers? Do all the white south Americans hate the Hispanic people? There has got to be someone or a group of people who understand the severity of what is happening. Salem I know you all have a large Hispanic population. You all have to help me help you all. Where can I find an alley in the world war 3 that my Dad started decades ago? We dont have the time or the option to sit in denial we have to act fast.

What about Mexico? There have to be some fancy farmers and families in Mexico. If I could find some of these fancy people in a place of power we could work together. I have no problem crossing the border and joining forces with my Dads enemies. Of course I would need to know I would be safe. I dont know how I would know to trust someone but I have to believe my guts will lead me in the right direction. They have worked so far. I have to have faith and believe God has a plan not only for me but for all of us.

So Salem, I need you all to help me find the Hispanic decision makers and fancy families both in the US and south of the border. I know I’m asking a lot, but you all have always come through for me. You have a way of spreading information that no one else has been able to top even me.

If my Dad is going to be a dictator over here and take out the power of the southern LA farmers, then I need to team up with people of power on the Hispanic side because this is going to be a really messy war. If the wall goes up at the Mexican border it could be decades before we get it down. Just like the Berlin wall. If I can’t get the people on this side to fight back, my only hope is the people my Dad seeks to block out and punish. I have lived at war my whole life. I dont want anyone to experience what I have. Yet, so many people will if world war 3 goes unopposed.

Salem, please help me. I need to find allies for this war in my overt life. I need to be kept safe. The closer to my family I am the more in danger I am. Help me keep us all safe by helping find refuge. If I go away its my safest bet on staying alive and fulfilling my destiny. Once again my life is in you all’s hands. But it’s not just my life, it’s the whole world. No pressure or anything. Lol. Sorry I had to, can you imagine what this feels like to me? It’s so much. I need a vacation so badly where I get to eat clean raw meat, watch some Netflix in Spanish, and smoke some pot in bed with my Haywood.

I have my passport and my Hay has his tetness shot certificate. We are ready to get out of here, when the time right. And by my watch the sooner the better.

I miss you all. Thank you for making me feel loved and supported from the very beginning before I knew anything or even who I am. You all will always have a special place in my heart. And I never want to stop talking to you all. Even if I move south we will have to continue our talks.

Thank you for being the best communication hub a girl could ask for.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Thursday July 28th 2022 Moon in Leo Sun in Leo Stages Of Grief

God has a plan for me. He always has. When I was 8 or 9 after my Grandma died I had a fight with God. I didn’t understand why he was putting me through all this. God was supposed to be a kind and gentle God. We stopped talking till I was facing death in the desert in Vegas. Almost 30 years I refused to talk to God. I refused to believe he existed because no one was supposed to have to face this much pain.

Shes beautiful ♡

I have not lost anyone I truly love since my Grandma Kudearoff died. That crushed me, but she didn’t die she was murdered. There is a big difference. That wasn’t Gods plan. That was my Dads plan. However, I refuse to let loosing Teka break me like loosing my Grandma Kudearoff did.

When Haywood had to have surgery in Arizona they gave him too many antibiotics. This is what they do to all people like me. They did this when I was 8 and had my head surgery. They did it again when I had my first boob job. And they did it again when I had my second boob job. Surgery is an act of destruction. Teka has never had to have anything done, but teeth pulled and cleanings. However, the teeth she needs pulled now would be a big deal. And I am naive if I think I would be able to purchase good medical attention for her. I would pay thousands to literally kill her. She would get sicker and sicker and I would spend everything I had on her because I love her. She is a liability. A1 got her fir me to make me weak and manageable. Love in this world makes you weak. No matter how much I fight and try to sell people on love, they will always view it as my greatest weakness.

Teka needs to eat more often than Haywood and I do. I have not been able to buy kibble that isn’t poisoned ever since who knows when. But on this trip everytime I tried the kibble was so poisoned it would throw her hips out like when I first got her. Teka is 13 and she turns 14 September 14th. She wasn’t supposed to live this long, but she did and she deserves to live in a dwelling. When I was camping out in my Moms backyard she liked sleeping in the house even though it was poisoned. She like laying on the couch with my mom even though my Mom would poison her. Teka doesn’t understand people are evil. Haywood he knows the evil of people. He tried so hard to tell me that people are evil but I didn’t listen. Haywood will bite people. He bites me. He would not be able to survive without me. Teka on the other hand she is pure love. She has never met a stranger.

Teka was my biggest weakness. It’s good she decided to run away. I’m not saying I would not come get her in a heartbeat if someone called about her. But God has a plan. She has never wandered that far away from me ever. Never has she gone that far. People not returning her that’s my Dads plan. But God had something to do with her running away.

The past couple weeks I really babied her and I didn’t understand why. But now I do. I was saying goodbye. I would have never given her up on my own. I would have held tight to her for a lifetime. However it would have destroyed us all.

Teka was so many learning lessons. I learned how vulnerable love makes me. It makes me weak because I’m at war. Teka was a preview of how weak having children will make me. I was right to never have children. And I am also right when I say it will take a literal army to protect my children. They will probably need to live and grow up in a compound. My children are too valuable to live in the world. No matter how much I desire to be normal and how much I want to give my children the things I never had, I will never be able to give my kids ordinary or normal. I could never give Teka or Haywood ordinary or not. Everytime I take them out into the world people try to destroy them. Haywood has such bad kidneys from all the destruction and his C diff infection is worse than mine. I neglected him when we had zteka because he’s not one to speak up. And his needs are so different than Tekas. Haywood needs to fast for long periods of time like me. He loves dry fasting. Last night was the first time I fell asleep with my hand on his booty because I always used to have to be touching him to fall asleep in Vegas. He grounds me. And I have not taken care of him the best. Not because I didn’t want to but because Teka needs so much and I only have so much bandwidth while living in this warzone. It will take us some time to adjust but it used to just be the two of us. We know we can do this because we have done it before.

Redmond I will never forgive you all. I will hold a grudge but this will not break me. If at any point you all want to call me and give her back I will take her back. But I’m just going to use this as more fuel to get through this war. I will get even with you all. I dont kniw how and I dont kniw when but it will happen.

When the three of us were in California last fall and winter we did a fair amount of walking on the beach. It felt so good. This must have been what I dreamed of and the vision I had. I had hoped it would be sweeter and more secure, but we walked on the beach and I felt good about being able to provide experiences for my kids.

Teka got to go so many places over the past year and a half. She had never been to Oregon before. She had never met my Mom or Brother. We went to redwoods. I took her and Hay hiking in Washington almost everyday. Shes small but shes might. I showed her the world. Now she deserves to relax inside and snack often even though it spikes her insulin. She deserves things I can’t give her, even when I try to buy her the things she needs my Dad makes it an act of destruction. Shes better off without me. However I am willing to accept her back. The person who has her will treat her like a trophy. The biggest war games trophy they will ever have. Hopefully that ensures her safety and earns her some spoiling. She loves fuzzy blankets and stuffed toys she can chew on the soft stuffed animals. She just wants to be held all the time. Love her because she will love you more than you ever imagined possible. Tell her I love her more than I ever knew was possible. Dont let her loose her faith in people. Her live is so pure even though she has seen and experienced the destruction over and over.

I refuse to let this break me. God has a plan for me. Even though I dont understand it, I can’t doubt him. Tekas not made for war like Haywood and I are. I love her so much, but…

It’s better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.

My Grandma Kudearoff will watch over her for me and I will see her again one day when this war is over for me. When love someone you let them go and if they come back you know it was meant to be.

This is going to break me, it just hurts.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Thursday July 28 2022 Moon in Leo Sun in Leo New Moon in Leo

You know Teka being kidnapped isn’t just about breaking me. It’s a message that if I ever have children they will be taken away too. My whole life basically my family has been waiting for me to breed so they could steal my child and kill me. Some things never change. If they are unable to kill me before I breed they will just steal the child and continue to try to kill me. Nothing has changed to them. I’m their property because of the birthrights they gave me and I have gone rogue. I’m just a casualty of war. A war I had no clue I was born into until 485 days ago.

My Grandpa Graves lived in a compound in Argentina because of my Dad huh? He was just trying to survive the war himself. What did my Grandma and Grandpa do to create my Dad? I kind of need to know so I dont fo it to my children.

You want to know how narcissists are created? As children you dote on them and spoil them, but neglect their human needs. So basically the whole world is raising narcissists because we ignore our children’s physical, emotional, and basic needs by poisoning them and not attending to their health.

Where is my Aunt Penny? Shes in Texas somewhere. Why doesn’t she stand up to my Dad? Its because she doesn’t have an army to compete with my Dads professional army. Police, school teachers, bus drivers, road worker, TV news anchors, school district officials, government officials, politicians, etc. They all make up my Dads professional army and cocreate the Truman show we all live in. However, if questioned about it they would say they are just following orders. Just like the SS soldiers in the Holocaust and just like the farmers now.

Here I am, one lady with the birthrights fo stop the chaos, but I can’t escape the chaos of the Truman show we all exist in. I have won over my Dads military army and created the largest army of people who seek potential of anyone in my family even my Dad. Yet no one will protect me. Or help me change the world with my overt life. The overt world is the only place I can really save us all.

Hello hello is my Dads military army out there? Are you listening? I’m a national treasure in human form. Will you please help protect me? I just need a little help. You all were more than willing to try to kill me, why is it such a far fetched idea to protect the person who can give you the freedom and world you seek? We all have been enslaved on a gene level and yet you all refuse to take action. Where do the people with courage and grit live? Who are they? I’m no stranger to the pain my family and especially father can create. Everyday I wake up knowing I dont have a personal place in my own logical brain. If I want privacy in my own head I have to use the creative part of my brain. I have a C Diff infection that has caused me health problems since birth. It’s so bad raw meat is the only real safe thing for me to eat. Sure, I cheat and est real food occassionally but I always pay for it later. I have never known human love. No one has ever been allowed to return my love. I understand the pain my family can create better than anyone. And yet here I am willing to stand up for a world that never tried to stand up for me. I’m invisible to the overt world unless I go to the bathroom outside. I have been invisible my whole life. And here I am begging for your help for 485 days and no one will help me. No one will help me get my dog back and no one will help me change the world. Where am I supposed to go from here?

I understand I’m asking the world of you people, but dont you understand I have had to survive the unthinkable just to be here. And the fact that my heart is still intact and I want to help you all is a miracle. Good behavior is supposed to be rewarded. My whole life my family has tried to prove to me that only evil behavior is rewarded. Why are you all following suit and doing the same thing?

I just need someone on my side. Maybe you all want the Mexican Berlin wall to go up and I’m in the wrong. If that’s what you all really want just tell me. Maybe I can give into some of the destruction of it has logical roots. I just need someone on my side. I can’t do this on my own. I need your help. Help me please. I’m drowning in plain sight and no one can see me. Help me.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Wednesday July 27th 2022 Moon in Cancer Sun in Leo My Day/Nighttime Rambles

I realized today tampons have a chemical that changes the ph balance of your whole body to more alkaline. My Mom always told me they had chemicals, but I never imagined they would be such an act of destruction. Especially because these are some of the cleaner ones I have had this year/lifetime. Normally my family gets people to poison my tampons before I buy them or by breaking into my Jeep.

I found new cardboard for my bed in the Jeep today at the school I have been camped out at in Redmond. The cardboard I got in Northern California last year lost its comfortably because I have slept on it so much. However, I have to just find cardboard when I run across it randomly because my family will poison it if I consciously look for it.

A police officer visited me again today and tried to get me to move to a different parking lot. The people around here have been calling in about me going pee outside. Do you realize public bathrooms are an act of destruction? You either touch chemicals that destroy your microbiome and good bugs or you get antibiotic resistant bacteria and who knows what else.

However, today I took an amazing nap. It felt so good to actually caught up on my sleep. The poisons have been really strong the past month or so. And I laid in the sun some more and continued with my fasting. I may not be able to purchase anything to help with my ph but I can fast and that helps some along with laying in the sun. I just got to do what I can.

The world has changed, my Truman show has changed again. But I worry the world won’t change fast enough. I understand I am asking a lot, but people are stuck in a freeze response. Animals do this to assess the situation. However I think humans do it because they are overwhelmed and stressed out by everyday life. When something of this magnitude happens it takes a lot to take action. Freezing is human, but to stay frozen is something that will just add to the problem.

I still haven’t found the right words to motivate the farmers in southern La or maybe all of them. They have lived this war just like me, but they also have been taught civility and been kept manageable with privilege materialism and social norms. My mirror neurons dont work the same as everyone else’s. So I can blame people for wanting to do what their brain tells them is right. However, I’m not going to stop trying to find the right words.

This whole revolution has been about finding the right words. 484 days of finding the right words. Actually a lifetime of finding the right words because these feelings have always existed inside me.

I tried to figure out what I am missing. I know my life is motivating you all not to take action. I have been a training tool my whole life. Even for the Kudearoff family. I can’t help what my Dad does to me.

I tried to figure out how to protect the farmers from my Dad, but I have nothing. I can’t even protect myself or my dogs. I’m completely at the mercy of the farmers because my family has created a situation for me where I am alone and vulnerable and unable to earn money. I represent chaos. I may be one of the smartest people you have ever heard talk, but I am still being kept small by my circumstances. Can you imagine what I could do with a little support or with a support system. Yesterday I wanted a hug. That passed, but today I want to find my people.

I know the farmers are my people. When I was in Santa Barbara I told Mr. Utah it was his destiny to be revolutionary with me. He has south American farmer epigenetics. I didn’t have all the pieces, but I just speak from the heart and everything always adds up in time. Mr. Utah is scared of my Dad. My Dad tormented him after we dated and during quite a bit. Mr. Utahs family has a lot to loose. They have been invested in privilege for generations. I never found the right words with him either. I understand his fear. It’s his amyglada damage and the world my Dad created that we all live in but it’s more of an existence. We aren’t alive. We just grasp to maintain. How are you all going to maintain through everything my Dad has planned? I really want to know how the farmers are planning to get through this all. If you all aren’t going to be revolutionary with me overtly and kind of rude the line of the covert war rules, how are you going to survive and maintain this all? Have you thought that far ahead? Because inaction is action.

Let’s play this out. My Dad already has you all committing covert genocides with the food and animals you grow and raise. You all do the dirty work. He just had some research done, genetically modified somethings, and changed the protocols you all abide by. You all are the SS soldier of World War 3. You all just didn’t know it all the way. I know you all know the food system is set up to destroy people. You just didn’t know the extent or that you were unable to escape it, down to a gene level.

So here you are with blood on your hands and some is even your own blood. What’s next for you all? How are you going to maintain? What’s your plan? As I see it you are just as helpless as everyone else when it comes to my Dad. You follow his orders in efforts to maintain. But have you been maintaining. Farming was a really profitable and earnest living in the early 1980s. Are you as comfortable financially and ethically as you were in the early 1980s? I think you have taken a pay cut and also allowed your ethics and boundaries to be eroded over the past 40 years. Does that feel like maintaining? Because to me that seems like a downward spiral. And yet here you stand with your own blood on your hands lying to yourselves that you are maintaining. I get it I like to lie to myself sometimes. It’s hard to face the truth.

I didn’t remember the sexual abuse of my childhood. It’s a coping mechanism for survival. However at 18 it all flooded back at once and I had the biggest breakdown of my life. How could people do this to anyone? How could the world be so cruel? How am I supposed to be strong enough to overcome this all? Every man in my life raped me. It was overwhelming and confusing and beyond hurtful. Now it’s manageable. However when it flooded back all at once I was paralyzed and stuck in a freeze response. Trauma is overwhelming because I was just trying to survive and maintain my daily life. It was overwhelming.

Farmers right now you are experiencing the flood of realizations about the world we all live in and your part in the destruction. Its overwhelming and it’s making you freeze. I dont think most of you signed up to commit and perpetuate genocides when you agreed or decided to carry on your family tradition of farming. The world wasn’t like this in the early 1980s. This is the world my Dad created. And unfortunately you all were the first to help him create this world. Food was one of the first things to change. About 1987, food started to noticeably change. I was 6 and I remember it. Do you remember it? Do you remember the changes you were required to make? Hiw many generations of your family have blood on their hands because of my Dad?

You all are the executioners of the genocides that my Dad has created. That has to feel heavy. Did you know you were creating world war 3? Did you know you were killing people every time they ate your food?

I’m not trying to shame you or make you feel bad. I’m trying to get you to see the situation at hand for what it is. How are you going to maintain being an executioner? Is this something your children will be okay with following in your footsteps to carry on? Are you going to be able to sleep at night knowing what you now know? How do you maintain being an executioner? Especially knowing my Dad has you right where he wants you and he can pretty much make you do anything he wants? How are you supposed to protect the people if you can’t protect yourself? What’s going to enable you to say no to even bigger demands of destruction from my family? Not only my Dad, but also my Brother.

From what I see there is no maintaining for you all. You either give into the destruction and help perpetuate and increase it as my Dad and Brother intend to. Or you become revolutionary with me. There is no in between as you all would like to believe. There is no maintaining. There is only action and inaction.

I remember what it feels like to be frozen like you all are. Its painful and hurtful. But I promise you all if you dont snap out of it and quickly the pain will just get worse. You will end up doing more things that create more of a reason to be frozen. You will create more pain for us all and not because you are trying to but because you are trying to maintain the impossible. Maintaining is not an option. It would be nice if maintaining was an option but everything has been declining since the early 1980s. We can’t escape what is, no matter how much we wish it to be different. We have to create the change we wish to see.

Please wash the blood off your hands and help stand up to my Father. I may not be able to protect myself, but I can help protect you all. I can protect you all because I have a direct line of communication with the people. The people who consume your products they will help me to support and protect you all. They may not be able to overtly support me, but they can overtly support you all. I will have this open line of communication with the people till the day I die, no one can take it from me. I have created lemonade out of the lemons my life and family have dealt me. I want to help you all do the same. We can overcome this mess. I know I can find the solutions we desire and need. I’m a natural born problem solver. My brain and nervous system allow me to see things other people dont see. Just like when I figured out World war 3 the other day. I just have to look at the pieces and they come together. I can do this for you all too. Please let me do this for you all. I may never get to sell real estate again, but I’m never going to stop being a problem solver. Once you all can tell me the facts I can find a solution that works for us all. It might be a lot of little solutions that add up to big change. But as I see it, change is your only option.

I may not be able to sell insurance for real ever, but you know what I could still visit your farms and you all could tell me how I can help make your lives better. The people know supporting you all is the only way for us to get out of this mess. I just have the communication tools and the birthrights fo help facilitate this change. Plus, I have a hell of a fancy brain. No one else has been able to endure this much destruction from my Dad. Allow me to share my expertise with you all.

Being accountable for the part you have had in creating world war 3 means changing your actions. If you keep doing as you have been and maintaining you are telling us all that what you have done is acceptable and we are not worth fighting for. You are saying your children are not worth fighting for. You are saying you are okay with continuing to be the executioner for us all.

Really think about everything, but especially what your inaction will mean not only for you and your families, but for us all.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Redmond Wednesday July 27 2022

I never imagined when I came here that my revolution would turn into an effort to stop World War 3. And I sure as hell never imagined having to leave here without Teka. My life has gone pretty far from any plan I have ever had for it. But I have given up privilege over and over because it just never felt right. There was always something missing. And it was a big something missing.

I never understood what that something was until the past couple days. That something was unconditional love or even love period. I have had multiple different kinds of lifestyles of privilege but none of them left room for love. It was an emptiness that never went away and haunted me during my quiet times.

I dont kniw how much of a Hispanic population there is here. Or if there are many ethnic people. But I am sure you all know someone who is not fully white. Would you treat them as less than based solely on the color of their skin? Would you punish them for being who they are? And even more extreme would you banish them to a life of suffering and death due to who they are?

Racism is wrong. Killing people is wrong. Torturing people is wrong. Building death camps is wrong. So many things are wrong with the world and they are only going to get worse, unless I have the opportunity to fulfill my destiny and change things. Can you imagine how overwhelmed I feel? This is all so much and less than a year and a half ago I knew nothing of the war games.

I’m not asking for your pity, but for your understanding. We all have our roles in this world. Life is hard in different ways for us all. However, the sad scary truth is if you are not fully white and German you will never be safe in the world that is emerging. My Dad is all about creating slave races and elevating the Aryan race just like my great Grandpa. This means I’m not safe because I am half Russian. Is anyone really safe when a dictator is in a place of ultimate power?

Northwest Redmond, especially 19th & Antler, you all weren’t white all the way like my Dad’s vision of perfection. Ethnic people have always taken more joy in destroying me, I’m not sure why. Does it make you feel important to destroy someone who is half white? Does it feel good to pick on someone everyone has taken their turn at tormenting? I’m an easy target no one has ever been allowed to be kind to me. I understand taking my dog felt good for you and it felt like getting even. But how does it feel now to know your future is just like Tekas if I dont succeed on my mission? My grandpa would throw Jews in the ghetto all the time randomly. You will never be safe. You will be laying in your bed every night praying that tonight isn’t the night your door gets broken down and you get thrown into a ghetto with all your other ethnic neighbors. If you thought the world was unsafe now, just imagine where we are heading with my Dad in charge and him building his Mexican version of the Berlin wall. It scary for us all, but especially for the dark side Members. He will start with his own and make examples of them. Just as he has done to me. You see me, I’m your future more than you ever imagined possible.

I pray I am able to fulfill my destiny. Can you imagine having such big shoes to fill? I’m scared. I dont want to let anyone down. And letting someone down means leaving them vulnerable to genocide both overt and covert. I have no clue how I’m going to go about this all, but I know um probably going to need to brush up on my Spanish big time. Teka came from a Spanish speaking household. I got her in Vegas. I know it seems silly for me to be so attached to a little 8lb creature. But I am and I dont apologize for it. Shes such a big part of my life. I need her back. Facing the magnitude of what I have to do is overwhelming. She calms me down and soothes my soul. Please return her to me. She has a microchip so you just need to have it read. I dont kniw how you covertly return someone you have kidnapped but I’m sure you all can figure it out. And I know you all know who has her. Please motivate this person to do the right thing. You all have been taught and conditioned to police each other.

I’m not one for making threats but I do believe in telling the truth to a fault. I will never forgive you all if I dont get Teka back. Never. I have been surrounded by the greatest evils in the world my whole life and I have been nothing but kind and generous to all the people. I never have excluded anyone from my revolution. I believe everyone is deserving. However, if I dont get my Teka back I will have no problem deeming Redmond undeserving. And that means all of you because you know who has her. I dont forget the people who have gone out of their way to hurt me. I do hold big grudges. I will hold a Mt. Everest grudge against you all. And not feel any guilt about it. Maybe even having the world help me fulfill this grudge.

I prefer love, but if you take my love as weakness be prepared to be proven wrong at your own expense. I will win this war just to get even with you all. I dont care if it takes me 5, 10, 20 years I will get even. I have not spoken to my Dad in over 20 years and here I am getting even with him. With a genius mind comes a hell of a memory that why they drugged me so much.

Please return my dog so I dont have to declare my own personal war on you all because I will. My live is my greatest asset. But it can be used to inflict great pain in those who wish to use it against me. Do you think my Dad has been enjoying this revolution or do you believe it to be the most painful part of his life?

I’m an expert at love. And pain is just the opposite of love.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Wednesday July 27 2022 Moon In Cancer Sun In Leo What Have Not Said?

. This whole revolution, all 484 days, have been about truths unsaid. I have been going around spewing truths just trying to find the right ones to tell to the right people. It’s been a painful process, but when I line the right truth up with the right people I feel free its the most rewarding feeling I have ever known.

What have I not said to convince the farmers it’s worth working together with me and taking this last chance we have to stop my Dad from eliminating all the checks and balances within the war games. My Dad is one step away from being a dictator in all ways. He has achieved this goal in most places, but has one group of people who stand in the way of his full realization of dictatorship. These are the farmers, but mostly the Southern LA farmers. And then of course there is me. The biggest mistake he ever made was underestimating me. He overestimated his ability to sell me on evil, materialism, and privilege. However, that farmers have bought into these things. So why would they not want to team up with me to gain more privilege and power in the long term?

You know why? Because they are scared of loosing things. Materialism is a very hard addiction to break. Even when you have been kept small and had your potential limited you value what you have been allowed. You value things because they can’t be taken away from you. Hoarders are a perfect example. They feel powerless and out of control unable to feel love from the people around them so they turn to things to comfort themselves. It may look like junk to the outside world, but its comforting to their heart, soul, and nervous systems.

Can you imagine how hard it is to give up these things when they are the socially acceptable nice things we all are taught to strive for? I can imagine because I have done it. Giving up everything is hard, but if I hadn’t had to do this on my own I dont think I would have had to sacrifice so much. See I went from living in a 5 bedroom house with a pool to living in my Jeep with nothing in the past 5 years. I was a taken care of woman who didn’t work did a lot of shopping and focusing on the exterior and superficial things in life. It was an empty existence that made me feel dead inside. However, my privilege made me feel special. I knew I was lucky to have achieved a life that allowed me this kind of freedom. However it wasnt freedom all those things were chains keeping me stuck in old patterns and ways that were designed to kill me. Destruction was the only option if I chose to keep going in that way of life. Sure I would have had a nice looking life and home on the outside but it would have just been a casket for my body. Dying on the inside and waiting for your body to follow is not living. It’s just a socially acceptable death.

Giving into the unknown is scary, but it’s the only way you can get things you never dreamed of. I can’t promise you all won’t loose things. But what I can promise is if you all dont team up with me and keep me safe you will loose Everything. Now that you know what’s happening my Dad will war on you even harder. He doesn’t take it easy on people for taking it easy on him. He goes to war because he can’t get out of his reptilian brain because he is stuck in a fear state that reflects and looks like anger. He’s scared because he knows you all have the power to change the game on him and he doesn’t have the time left to overcome a new game. And my Brother is not prepared for a new game. His potential has been limited even more than mine, even starting with the number of gene mutations he has. My Dad has rigged the system to be the most powerful. However I have showed you all the wizard behind the curtain and how he has made you all believe that you are powerless. When in actuality you are his biggest opposition, just like me. If we come together as we are destined to I promise to sell the world on being revolutionary. Because we all deserve it. I promise to never stop being me. And I promise to find the people who will overtly support us in this covert war. I admit I have no clue who our allies should be. But I have a feeling we need to start in Argentina. Something has been pulling me there. What has my Dad done to them? He wants to block everyone from Mexico to Argentina out. So I believe these people to be our allies. Especially if we explain what’s happening. There are way more people south of Mexico than there are in the United States. And the epigenetic triggers are way more exaggerated in Southern California and south of Mexico. Privilege will be our biggest enemy. My Dad will always offer privilege to those looking to support us. However, look around you. Have you noticed how the war games have changed? In the past week we have created a new game. The people who value destruction above all else have dropped out of the war games. Now we are just faced with people who seek privilege because they have never had enough. The future hoaders of America. Hoarding is a mental illness so we will have to take a different approach to overcoming them because logic won’t work. Hoarding has to do with protecting your basic human needs, but your emotional needs. How do we fulfill the emotional needs of people who have never had them fulfilled before? We go to church and teach them unconditional love. When people know unconditional love they can move mountains. Why do you think my dad killed my Grandma and never allowed another human to love me? Unconditional love is the most powerful thing in the world. Unconditional love of money is what allowed the Nazis to escape to Argentina. You get to choose what you allow yourself to unconditionally love. Money and things are great and they live nice. But unconditional love in human form is worth waging wars over because its priceless. My Dad has stolen human unconventional love from us all. I want to show the world what unconditional love can do for us all. We have to unconditionally love ourselves more than money and privilege and things, but we have never been taught how to do this. We have been genetically modified to never even consider it. I want to show the world a new way. A way that allows us all better down to a gene level. I can’t promise to make your bank balances go up like my Dad can. However I promise to fill your hearts with so many feelings that show you what the human experience is really about.

The old ways are going to kill us all. We really dont have much time or much to loose. Everything will change because everything has been set up to make us fail and destroy us. We have to be okay with this change and open to new ways and traditions.

Farmers I understand now that I am asking you to take part in WW3. I knew it was within my birthrights to start world wars. But I did not start it. My Dad started this world war before I was even born. However, the world is not aware of this covert world war 3. You all weren’t aware of this covert world war 3. How long will you be able to sleep at night knowing my Dad is turning the world south of Mexico into a concentration camp even more than he is turning the United states into one? Can you all rest with that on your conscience? Especially knowing what our relatives did to the world in World war 2. This will be worse. This destruction the world will never recover from. Never recover from. How important do your material possessions seem now when you realize you are valuing them over the well being of people who are unable to stand up for themselves?

This is our birthrights. It’s not just mine, it’s yours too. This is the moment you get to decide who you really are. Are you going to be like our ancestors who ran from accountability for their war crimes? Or are you going to stand with me and say this is not right and even though I could continue to profit off the pain of others I will no longer stand by and just watch the destruction in silence going along with the crowd. Sometimes the crowd is wrong and it only takes a small handful to create a new crowd.

Join me in being revolutionary, it’s our birthrights. It won’t be easy, but it’s our destiny to show the world love rather than hate.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Tuesday July 26th 2022 Moon in Cancer Sun in Leo My Day-Day #1 Without Teka

This is the first day and night Haywood and I have spent without Teka in over 5 years. Its really weird not to have her with us. Me and Hay dont talk as much as me and T do. She the busy one out of the group, the mover and shaker.

When I called the pound and humane society I could tell they were putting on a Truman show for me. I dont even think they filed a lost dog report for me. I wonder if the lady at the chip company even updated my phone number for me. What’s worse than someone having her is her sitting alone in a pound and no one calling me. To live through so much and go through so many people to end up alone and abandoned again. That hurts my heart so badly. I want my baby back.

I realized so much today about my family and what my Dad has been up to for my whole life. Ever since coming to Bend/Redmond I have figured out so much. I just came here to get the Republicans to drop out of the war against me. I have figured out so much more than I bargained for. T, Hay and I did a three day fast when we first got here. So me and Hay are going to do it again. We are the ones with more chub and health problems to fix, may as well be productive.

My family wants me to do all the fancy footwork to fund Teka like passing out flyers etc. But its Tryman show, just like when I turn in resumes. Even if someone knows something they won’t tell me or help me. My only hope is the farmers finding her for me. And honestly I don’t know if they are sold on the importance of helping me find the second living being on earth who ever loved me back. I dont think people understand. My family understands that’s why they took her. I was never supposed to know love. Love has made me more revolutionary.

Today I realized my Dad has set everything up to eliminate the Kudearoffs. And he has planned and set everything up to eliminate any checks and balances for him. So he can build a Berlin wall and block out the Hispanic people. Pretty crazy.

I dont kniw if the southern LA farmers understand how huge this is, not only for them, but for the world. It’s scary that my Dad has gotten this far without people really realizing what he’s doing. He keeps them busy with other things so people don’t question the big picture. And people rarely think logically these days. Shoot I’m logic brain based and I never really thought of it all before.

So I offered the farmers to unite and I team up with them not only in the covert world, but the overt world too. It’s not safe for me to be alone. I have been alone for years now. Literally just me and my dogs since 2017. It’s been hard. But I spent my childhood alone so this is not new just unexpected.

I hope so badly for this all to turn out well. I have seen my happy ending. I have felt it. But in this moment it seems so far fetched even to me. I just want to have a good life and have my family or actually my Dad stop taking things away from me that I love and value. I want to love freely and enjoy parts of life. I want to be ordinary. And here today I offered to team up with the Southern LA farmers and I think they must have quite the reputation because they can tell my Dad no. They should probably scare me. But they dont. Continuing to live like this does. Living without my Teka that does. Humans who believe in potential even if they have partaken in some destruction dont scare me. They represent hope. Potential was the first thing my Dad stole from me. And he stole that before I was ever born when he married my mom and premeditated fir me to be a weapon of destruction against not only my own family, but the farmers and everyone in the world that he seemed lesser than.

Kind of a dark day. But good news I started my period and I’m only a couple days late so even though they have been warring on my reproductive organs they are still doing decent. Better than when I went to Washington last. It is heavy bleeding though so there is some damage happening. Too much info I know but I gotta talk to someone about these things.

I have lost a decent amount of weight since being in Eastern Oregon and being in the sun and heat. It feels good. However my skin is not rebounding like it used to. The kidney damage and the C Diff infection that have gone all over the place this year have been hell on my body. The past 5 years have been hell on my body. I started the year fasting and got down to 120ish. I had a huge C Diff flare and my ph went alkaline when I was eating cooked food at Amber’s and I got up to 160ish. And my arms and legs were so very swollen. I think like never before or close to the big flare I had in 2017. I am so tired of being destroyed I’m willing to team up with people who are known for destruction. However, I dont think they will destroy me. I believe they understand the logic of keeping me alive so I can have children and raise those children. Plus I hope they see the value of keeping my brain around. I have seen my future and its bright and there is a beach and Teka is there. I have to believe in the quantum field and justice and a happy ending for me. My happy ending isn’t romantic love like most movies. Its freedom and the unconditional love of my children. I have always wanted children. But I knew they would be taken from me just like everything I have ever loved. I didn’t understand logically but the feeling in my heart was too real. I dont want to live in fear of having my heart destroyed any longer. Most people just give up using their to avoid this feeling, but I need love. Everyone needs love. We die when we give up on love. My dogs taught me that. So I refuse to give up on love. I may have to take the most untraditional route to unconditional love, but I’m going to get there. Eyes on the prize.

So today was weird. I miss T and I want to cry but that won’t help or change anything. Freaking out won’t help or change anything. I just have to keep going and believe in the feeling in my soul that says everything is going to work out be patient. Hay and I just have to fast and lay in the sun and enjoy/endure the extreme heat. Tomorrow is 106, so that might be a little rough, but laying in the grass in the shade is grounding and good for our electro magnetic fields. Aka the soul.

I feel sad, but they have had all kinds of traffic going by with E poisons and the evil poison that makes my teeth numb. However the world got quiet today when I talked about my dads big picture plans. It’s weird to know so much, but not understand that I know so much. I know but I often dont kniw I know more than you all. It’s the Autism, I dont kniw what I know all too often. And I sure as hell have no clue what all you all know.

Today I am craving a hug. I dont crave physical affection much but it is soothing to the nervous system sometimes with the right person. A1 was soothing to my nervous system when he wanted to be. I miss that. I dont miss sex or romance I miss hugs and having someone there. Sec was always just the price I paid for those things. I’m lonely. It has to be something because this is not a normal feeling for me. I think its feeling the hole that Teka fills in my heart. Hay does too, but he can’t fill a lifetime without human love by himself. Plus, I’m realizing how much the poison is wearing on him. We are like two bumps on a log next to each other. We have been together so long we dont speak much we just are because we have been trying to survive for almost a decade together. Just surviving is draining and its getting to us. But we will keep going and this feeling will move through us and leave in time. It always does.

New Moon happens on Thursday in the early morning. I always pray for amazing things but I almost have come to expect them on new moons and full moons. Dear God, please allow my needs for change to be satisfied this moon phase. I live my life from new moon to full moon and then to new moon again. Always praying this is the one I have been waiting for my whole life. This is the game changer I have earned with my tenacity and patience. Please pray with me that we all get something we deserve this week that is life changing. We all need a little change and motivation to keep going.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Tuesday July 26th 2022 Moon in Cancer Sun in Leo Pieces Together Part 2

Well wow! I have more answers. The old man I used to know from Sierra Vista and Bisbee was Hispanic with German eyebrows. And his brain was fancy like mine. He was a Hispanic Argentinian. My Dad is a white German Argentinian. It’s the non Hispanic and the Hispanic parts of the South American Nazis who are left and fighting it out for dominance of the country because the wall is coming. The southern LA farmers are Hispanic Argentinians. I always wondered why my Dad’s Dad aka my grandpa zgraves lived in a compound in Argentina. My mom said he was safer there. I never understood that. Safer drilling oil was my thought. Do the southern LA farmers drill out or do they actually farm? This gets so confusing. And to the Southern Oregon dark side farmers, do you all see now why it’s so very important that all you farmers work together with me? This is a shit show. How much of this all did you all know about?

I also figured out my Dad is allowing my grandma Kudearoff and grandpa Kudearoffs birthrights fo fir with my cousins Derek and Steven. In exchange for not having children for Der and I dont think Steven gets to marry or have children or ever walk into my grandpa birthright. Me and my cousin Brittney are the fancy #2s sho also are #1s. I wonder what her fate is?

All the kudearoffs hav sold out not only on everyone, but in themselves. I’m the only one who escaped and that’s because I didn’t understand what I was running from. And here I am defenseless, alone, and missing one of dogs in Redmond Oregon. I’m the most power and important chess piece in this war and I’m alone and defenseless. How can you all allow this to happen? Farmers I’m talking to you all. It was one thing when I didn’t understand but I have been putting this puzzle together while running for my life for 483 days. That’s 483 days my family has been pretty overt about trying to kill me. I found the southern LA farmers last November. What have you all been doing since then? I’m in shock. I have never been trained to strategize for anything really, but I am pretty sure I should not be alone. And I’m pretty sure I’m too valuable to trust A1 with me.

Let’s play let’s make a deal. I’m not looking to be held hostage. I have done that over and over my whole life. However I also see after so many realizations today that if I intend to do anything to stop my Dad from conquering my family and the world I need to not only team up with the farmers and that means all of you all. I need to really team up with the Southern LA farmers. I told you all about my vision of walking my dogs on the beach in California that allowed me to survive cancer naturally. Well, I think I am starting to see this is something that needs to happen for us all to survive.

I like boundaries and clear expectations. I dont like things that are implied and I dont enjoy being conned. Luckily for me I have a chip in my head so it will enable me to stay safe as long as I have multiple different groups invested in my survival.

So I have conditions as the most powerful chess piece against my Father I am allowed conditions.

  1. I’m not going anywhere with anyone until all the farmers agree to work together. This means my southern la farmers, my southern Oregon farmers, and the man I was super to marry here in Redmond and his farmers and the scandinavians ing the junction city area, and all the farmers in Washington. I think the northern California ones go hand in hand with the ones here in Redmond. You all have to decide to work together with me. No bullshit. No covert agendas. We all come together for the greatest good of us all. We put differences aside, all if us and all our differences. We unite to take out a common enemy and save my family the Kudearoffs. If they choose to be awful people we can take them out back and shoot them after my Dad is gone. I like my Brother and I would like to think if things were different we could be siblings. It’s a long shot, but I want a chance at having some family. I just need the opportunity, it’s not a guarantee but a chance is enough for me. Our war is with my father not my brother and Kudearoffs even though they will be used as pawns in this war. It’s going to be a weird war for me, they are all my family and I love them all. Even my Dad. I understand he doesn’t feel my love he only sees me as weak even still to this day.
  2. I need my dog Teka before I can go anywhere. She is close to me and I need her. Between all the farmers you should be able to find the dark side member who lives in an apartment by 19th and Antler who has her. I need and deserve my baby girl. Haywood deserves his sister too.
  3. I get to live on the beach and walk the beach with my daily even though it might not be safe all the time. I can’t be a prisoner and more.
  4. I am not a sex toy. I will not be having sex with anyone. Fancy babies are made in doctors offices. And I need to work on my financial security and epigenetics for awhile before a baby can even be considered. My current baby is being held hostage. I need to know this will never happen to my human children.
  5. I get to sell real estate. I have an Arizona license and I need to do some continuing education classes. You all will need to help motivate people in real estate to allow me my profession. I’m sure it will be a fight. Or maybe I could sell insurance but I really prefer real estate. Maybe I could eventually get my California real estate license and work in California. But I should be able to work remotely because I love inside sales. I need to soothe my nervous system for a year or two and just geek out working from home and focusing on my health. Maybe even taking a few vacations. And I won’t be giving up road trips but I can compromise and not go alone sometimes. I want to pretend to be ordinary as much as possible. I would live to go to Argentina. I had a vision about that too, but I never really understood it till now. They have a beach there too.
  6. My independence and financial security are very important to me. I may need help creating avenues to create these resources for myself. I understand it’s easier to just give me money and say here now you are independent. But that is how I have been held hostage my whole life. I want to earn my own way.

Okay I’m sure there are other little things that will come up, but those are the big ones. I need to much little random stuff and I’m kind of a control freak because control has been taken away from me so much in my life. As long as we stick to the you be good to me I be good to you motto and agreement everything should be okay.

This is the craziest agreement I have ever agreed to, but here I am doing it because I want my baby back, I want my Dad to not win the puzzle he is working on, and I want to know if the Kudearoffs really hate me or if they deep down may have loved me at one time. I see how valuable I am to the world and I’m willing to acknowledge and protect that value.

Also I may need to travel to Texas to do my announcements and let the people know I’m alive and what’s happening. I’m #2 on my Dads side those are my people. Plus they are in danger of turning democratic without knowing the whole picture.

So if we all can agree on these terms and conditions, I’m ready to start this new chapter in my revolution when you all are ready. The sooner the better. They could be torturing my baby right now. Statistically the longer it takes to get her back the more damage and trauma she will endure.

And side note I may need a big dog to add to my pack just for safety sake.

Okay let’s be revolutionary. It’s you alls move.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Tuesday July 26th 2022 Putting together a puzzle

Okay let me talk this one out.

I told you all my world crashed down when the Berlin wall came down. I still dont understand what all happened. But the downing of the Berlin wall allowed for Germany to come back together. From what I gather this was very bad news to my Dad. He must not want to work with the Soviets, but rather to conquer them. This makes sense. This is where I was supposed to come into play. My Brother was born the year after Germany came back together. My Brother was a fool to overcome my Grandma Kudearoff’s birthright when it is to be passed down to my cousin Derek. At this point my Dad still thought I would breed and he could kill me. He was going to use my child to enslave both my Brother and Derek. My child was to do what I was intended for just 20 years delayed. That why they tried so hard to get me to breed in my early 20s. My Dad joining forces with the Kudearoffs was him conquering them because he knew his first child mixed with Kudearoff could help him acquire the whole territory. Aka Me. Oh and after I breed and he killed me but before my child was grown enough he would let my brother take over for a bit with my birthrights and that’s when they would enslave Derek my Grandma Kudearoff’s birthright. It’s always been about conquering the Kudearoffs for my Dad and he doesn’t care who he has to use as a pawn or puppet. No wonder the Southern LA farmers are with me. They will be conquered without me.

How does my uncle Joe who married my Aunt nina play into this. She has kept her distance this whole adventure and even before when covid happened. Aka when my family started covid. Uncle Joe is in charge of the Mexicans and bikers on the east coast not all of them but a large majority. Well actually his older sister is. Look this is why Jessica is supposed to take over and/steal Serenas place as leader of the bikers and Mexicans when Joe and his older sister die. My Dad doesn’t like Mexicans. He’s rewarding aunt nina and Jessica with his scraps that he still needs but doesn’t really value. Anyone want to marry Serena and help her have a baby so she can walk into her birthright as leader of the Mexicans and Bikers? She wouldn’t stand up to my Dad either so that’s a useless ploy.

Have you noticed the Democratic and Republican states recently? My Dad always told me to do the edges of a puzzle first because the inside will go quicker that way. Have you seen that he almost has all the edges Democratic now?

My Dad is building a Berlin Wall of sorts. This is why he wants the west coast and the southern coast and border and the east coast. This is why there was Trump talking about building a wall. This is my family was separating Mexican children from their families at the border, my mom told me about that one. I lived by the Mexican border in Arizona. I may still not logically understand but I felt something happening. When I first moved there I lived like 10 minutes away and I had to move north to about 40 minutes away. It was too intense. They were really trying to kill me there. Cell phones didn’t work just like when I go to fancy small towns where decision makers with power in the war games live. Its 2022 there is no reason small towns should not have cell phone service. It’s done on purpose to withhold information and keep people small. Who are the decision makers by the border being kept in the dark? Farmers do you know? Are there other farmers down there?

I knew a man from the war games when I was in Sierra Vista. He was old like late 90s or over 100. He grew up in Bisbee by the border. The same town I moved to when I first got to Southern Arizona. It was a mining town, but then my Dad closed the mines in the late 1980s. Towns like Bisbee have never recovered. They are filled with people with fancy birthrights and fancy brains like mine who are kept small not only with withholding information but by being surrounded by an economy that offers them no way out. The man I knew had a fancy brain like mine, but he played small just as I had been taught to do. Even though we were friends he tried to condition me to go back to playing small all the time. He was just trying to survive and teach me learned helplessness. He has survived to his 80s without getting married or havingchildren. He fell through the cracks somehow. But then he fell and broke his hip and ended up in a nursing home. Never able to regainhis freedom. He died last year while I was fighting for his freedom. I didn’t make it in time, but he told me stories that continue to help me piece together this puzzle. The fancy families kept poor and small by the border dont understand what’s happening fully. They probably got a half truth if some sort like we all do.

So where do you think the new wall will be? I think Trump was right and we will build a new wall to keep Mexico out. My Dad isn’t going to give up half the United states he’s doing the edges so the rest is easier. Once he has the west coast, the southern border, and the east coast the rest will fall into line quickly.

What kind of German is my Dad? Who are the Southern LA farmers that they have more power than him? I dont kniw the answer to this, but I’m guessing after my cousin Jessica or my cousin Serena takes over the Mexicans and Bikers on the dark side. The southern LA farmers will no longer be able to boss my Dad. That’s not long away. And then he has no checks and balances ever again. And I have no back up.

So southern La farmers, did I earn my dog back? I would like my dog and A1 and I would like to move back to Sierra Vista to keep an eye on things and see what’s really happening. I love crossing the border for lunch and a trip to the pharmacy. If you all loose me, you all will fall faster than you ever imagined. He k faster than I ever imagined. And us Kudearoffs will be gone as well if we aren’t already.

The Berlin Wall will be the Mexico Border.

Wow I’m good at puzzles.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Tuesday July 26th 2022 Moon in Cancer Sun in Leo Teka is still missing

My Dog Teka is still missing. She is microchipped and so the person who has her just needs to take her to a vet or a police station to have her chip read. They will be able to contact me. Farmers have you told the people to give her back? She’s so important to me. Beyond words.

Since we got the time, you all want to know who is trying to take the checks and balances out of the war games with my Dad? Tony Robbins is in Florida. See Tony Robbins got on board with the version of Neuro linguistic programming that my Dad uses at about the same time in 1978. My Dad learned it in the military and Tony learned it from the guy who invented it in California. They both are cult leaders who use success as a tool to hook people. Privilege can look similar to success. But it still brainwashing.

See on this trip my Dad used a Tony Robbins seminar to try to brainwash me. I love potential and success. However, I’m not okay with being brainwashed without my permission. If he really had good intentions he would just tell people he is brainwashing and programming them for success. If it was on the up and up it would be no problem to admit it. However, when things are fishy they are not as easy to be transparent about.

So they both us the same brand of NLP, the both use success instead of love, the both were born into the war games(Tony is a 1st born), and they like to keep their followers in their reptilian brains so they are easier to control and brainwash. Look up how many strip clubs per capita Oregon and Florida have. They have the most because sex is apart of the reptilian brain. When you are always thinking about sex, food, water, and survival aka success you are always in your reptilian brain. This makes you easy to brainwash and control.

Tony has been in Florida since 2000 ish, but he just recently had his first baby with his current wife during covid. Did you all notice how Florida handled covid completely different than the rest of us? It’s like they were their own country or something. Or maybe they want to be. My Dad wants the west coast and I bet Tony is working on the East. Do you think they are partners? Or do you think they are dividing and conquering with no intention of coming together in the middle.

I have no clue on a lot, but I know we need to start asking questions.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

PS. I want my dog back please.

Tuesday July 26th 2022 Moon in Cancer Sun in Leo 1:02 am I can’t sleep

When I first met A1, our first dinner he told me it was like fate meeting me. Men always said cheesy things to me, but I could tell he was telling the truth/he believed it. When people lie their brains light up differently and I can see it. Well, tonight I realized that my Dad chose A1 to be with me. He knew I would like him. My Dad chose everyone I was with my whole life, except Mr. Utah. My Dad never wanted me to be with a black man. However my dad did send Mr Utah after me when I broke up with A1 and did not choose to date anyone.

Slowly but surely I am realizing my whole life and every one in the Kudearoff family has just been a puppet for my Dad ever since my Grandma Kudearoff died and there were no longer checks and balances for him. Absolute power corrupts all. But he was already corrupted, it just got worse.

I emailed A1 tonight because he is the one who got me my munchkins. If he has a heart, he will understand. When Haywood got hurt in Arizona I called him when he was in surgery just to keep me calm. He knows I love my/our kids.

A1 is scared of my Dad. Everyone is scared of my Dad. I saw A1 early on this adventure I dont know why he was taking part in the gang stalking. And I for sure dont kniw why he didn’t think I would recognize him. But I saw him when I was at a rest stop in Oregon going to the bathroom. He was smoking a cigarette wearing a hat. I shook my head at him in the same way people who try to brainwash me do and kept walking, but I felt his cortisol spike and his heart race. He knew I saw him.

For one Christmas, I got A1 a John deer hat and shirt. I may not if had the words to logically Express what was happening but that’s my Autism. It’s hard for me to find words and movement is hard for me. However I have always felt what was going on. Now I understand why he was so mortified by my gift. I told him it was irony, an asain man wearing a farming hat. I dont know many asain farmers. Maybe I’m wrong but I have not seen many if any in my life. He never really wore the shirt or hat.

The only way A1 will ever treat me fairly is if the farmers get him to. A1 has an overactive fear response. He’s scared of my Dad and he has been scared of me ever since he learned that I didn’t die from cancer in the death camp. They all celebrated my death too soon. The farmers are my only hope for ever being treated fairly in life.

Even with getting my dog back because I am on the west side of town and just realized it. So I need the dark side farmers in Southern Oregon and Roseburg to motivate whoever has Teka to give her back. Every group has a different group of farmers they take orders from

Here I am the most powerful lady in the war games and no one will listen to me even about my own life. I dont know if they are birthrights as much as disabilities. How can any of this be happening? Its because my Dad has tried to change the system when he does not have the power to.

Do you know how much it sucks to not feel in control of your own life and to have everything been a lie and a Truman show? I know you all do, but do you all realize my life is just a preview of how much worse it can get for you all. I’m not being revolutionary to be bossy, I’m being revolutionary just so I have a God damm say in my own life. I am fighting to be human rather than an object to be owned and possessed. No human should have to experience what I have. And I want to save you all from it if its possible. I hope you realize this revolution is to save you not just me. I hope you all realize that. Its important you see I am not being selfish, I am looking out for everyone’s best interest.

Dark side farmers in Oregon, I appreciate you all and I know I’m asking a lot but I need your help. I lost Teka near 19th and Antler it’s on the new side of Redmond. She disappeared into an apartment complex filled with dark side members and I could not find her. They will not give her back, they were mocking me about being homeless and enjoying my pain as I was searching for her. She will have to be walked or use the restroom eventually. Shes a yorkie chihuahua mix 8lbs black with grey speckles 13 years old with brown eyes. Please make the people here police each other and turn the person in to you all if she is not returned in the morning. I know I’m turning into a high maintenance associate but I promise to not leave her to wander so far again. If the people have to live in fear of being caught they will do the right thing. I have never been treated well by the dark side, but then leaving me alone the last month or so has been really good. Being left alone by them is the nicest they have ever been. Please help me with getting Teka back and you all know I’m always here to help you all with whatever will improve your quality of life.

Southern LA farmers, in the spirit of being high maintenance, please allow me to be treated fairly by A1. I know I asked before but I realized why I have had it out for him so much. A1 was a puppet for my Dad to hurt me. That’s why he hurt me in ways that I had thought I had escaped from. He raped me like my Dad used to. It was the most hurtful thing anyone has ever done to me as an adult. And I have been hurt a lot. I may never know what actions were really A1 and which were my Dad, but I at least need to feel like I have closure on the situation. I need to feel like there is justice in the world. I dont want justice to be the blood of my enemies. I want justice to be loving like my Grandma Kudearoff who told people to do better and they did because she said it with love. A1 is scared of the farmers. I’m not sure if its because of me or because of who you all are. I honestly have no clue who you all are. But you have always treated me fairly and that’s how I judge people. People are human. And humans do some evil things. But we are all imperfect perfection. I give my love unconditionally to the people who help me improve my life and make my way through the world. I’m not perfect, but no one is. I’m never going to be perfect and that’s okay because I dont expect anyone to be perfect. It’s not possible. I dont care who you all are to the world or anyone. Look at my family, I love them all. They all tried to kill me and I can tell you amazing things about each and everyone of them. They are pretty cool people war games and murder aside. A1 is pretty amazing too with war games, murder, and rape aside. Everyone is human.

My point is I always treat people as people. You all are just human to me. You do some things that may not be perfect, but you are just human. I dont know any other way to treat people. So once again the point is be good to me and I will always be good to you all. And I will expect you all to come over for dinner or a bbq one day because when you work hard together you got to play hard together a little too. All I know is the war games. The war games is my family. You all have become part of my family. So I guess you all are stuck with me. And I’m so very grateful to find people with power like mine that actually works. You all give me hope that one day soon things will be better for not only me but a lot of people. I just need a little help finding some justice and peace of mind in this covert war that is my life. And I need some help getting an overt life. I realized today I have never had one. Its always just been my Dad waging covert war on me and telling me it was my overt life and poor decisions.

I apologize for the late night rambles. Hope you all read this in the morning and I didn’t keep you all up. I still dont kniw how this thing works. One day we gotta figure out a two way communication method, maybe even text message so I can write my thoughts. Communication is key they say.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Teka’s Story

I tell you all about me because when your being held hostage you are supposed to humanize yourself to improve your chances of survival. Allow me to do this for Teka.

Teka came to live with us when she was 8.5 years old when Haywood and I lived in Vegas. Haywood found her at doggie day care. Really she was planted there as part of our Truman show, but allow me to tell you the story as it happened to me.

Teka was a foster dog at Haywood’s school. She had been there for months. And before that she had been returned by her adopted because the other dog they had would attack her. I’m unsure what her original owner was like, but she has a damaged ear from when something happened that they wrapped up to her head and it healed really funny. So she has a damaged and deformed ear, but she hears just fine. When she found us her hips were bad from being created so much. She could barely go upstairs and she was nearly blind. She has cataracts that get worse when she is poisoned. When I first got her they were really bad. She would cry when she was in the dark. So if I didn’t leave a light on when I left home and didn’t come home before dark she would be crying and frantic. I think she was locked in a crate in the dark alone a lot. She was definitely neglected because she always wanted to be held. Even when we went walking she wanted me to pick her up, but I made her walk because I told her she could do anything Haywood could do. I was so worried about treating her fairly because I love Haywood so much. She learned how to do a lot of things when she came to us. She learned how to play in the backyard with Haywood. She learned to lay in the sun. Ge taught her to chase birds with him. She learned how to get rowdy and play. For years she was funny around food because of what happened with the dog that she got returned from. Food agression is what they said, but she was traumatized. She still has nightmares, but they are way better than they were. She used to cry in her sleep all the time. She still does it occassionally but I tell her it will be okay and pat her and she stops. She’s high maintenance but she deserves it. When I first got her she wouldn’t sleep with me and Haywood. She would nap with us and hang out on the bed and watch TV and eat with us, but every night she would go to her bed and sleep alone. Even in Arizona she would sneak off in the middle of the night and come back in the morning. She never cuddled with us at night till this trip. Last night she got cold and she came and curled up with me. This is something she just started doing in the past year. It has taken a lot for her to understand we are her family and we will be here for always.

When I first got her she always listened. She never was bad, except for peeing on the floor. She peed on the floor everyday fir about a year. If you moved to quick around her or scared her she peed on the floor. If you left her alone too long she peed on the floor. She doesn’t have accidents anymore. It took years but she is fine now minus the occassion when she eats something funny or out of the ordinary.

It took a long time for her to feel safe. It took a long time for her to learn she didn’t have to be my second skin. It took her a long time to learn that I’m not going anywhere and that I always come back for her. She knows I always come back for her now. And this has allowed for her to explore more and wander. Which I encourage because it’s her empowering herself and exerting herself. However when the poisons get too strong and she gets too far it’s too much for her eyes and nervous system. I dont want to distemper her and tell her no to wandering and exploring, but I tell her to stay close. Today/tonight is a reason why I probably need to keep her closer. Haywood knows to stay close, but she gets caught up in stuff because everything is still new to her. I’m pretty sure for the first 8 years of her life she spent it in a crate in an apartment with a family that had a kid and forgot about her. She does well around kids, but when she hears a baby cry she gets nervous even on the TV.

I have dragged her all over the west coast this year. I have made her fast a lit, but it has changed her in such an amazing way. She is so much calmer than she ever was before. Rarely does she do that chihuahua shake anymore and she used to do it constantly. That’s just toxins built up in their system because they are small and can’t handle much. We have done parasite cleanses together, heavy metal cleansing, and when I was fighting cancer using worm pills she took worm pills with me. I never guessed she would love to be this old. However it seems like what we are doing is working for all of us.

Teka is my heart. Not only did I cuddle her this morning when she was cold. I told her today that I love her more today than ever before and she is amazing. I try to do this daily or at least a few times a week. Love grows its doesn’t dissipate.

I know I dont have much in the overt world, but I love and care for my dogs the best I can. She has bathed more than me recently and she has a few fleas but we are working on it, I refuse to not let her play and go in the grass. So we spray her with some herbal stuff and she does take pharmaceutical flea meds. Fleas are just really bad this year. I give her a haircut myself so it’s not perfect but I think she looks dam cute. He teeth are bad but shes almost 14 and we have a vet appointment this weekend to have them looked at and come up with a plan. She has doggie health insurance even though I dont have insurance. I dont have much but I will take care of that girl as best I can.

Teka is the nice one out of my two dogs. Haywood will bite because he has bad kidneys so it hurts him when you all poison him. Teka is not as smart. Or she just knows that everyone poisons everyone. Haywood knows I would never poison him. Teka understands in this world you have to put up with a lot of shit to get loved. She was almost blind when I got her because she wants love so much. People poison her head when they pet her and it causes her eyes to get bad. The more I can keep her away from others the better her eyesight gets.

I understand I dont look like the best Mom, but I am the best Mom for Teka. I will live her forever, I will wake her up when she has nightmares, I will continue to prove I always come back for her. She allowed me to believe in love during the hardest times of my life. She helped me find the will to survive cancer. She is my why. She always will be because her love is pure. Even though everyone has always let her down she still loves and it’s pure love. She taught me not to give up on love just because people have done me wrong. I have learned so much from her. And I want to think that I have been able to return the favor. I have taken her to beaches, lakes, so many different states, I keep telling her you can do anything Haywood can. And she believes me now, because she has learned she can even do some things he can’t do.

Moments like this make me want to throw the towel in with this revolution and just take care of my babies. They deserve a good life. But we all deserve a good life and my babies are happier now than they were in Arizona. They are healthier now than when in Arizona. We lived in a death camp. We were never supposed to get out alive. The fact that all three of us are alive is proof there is a God and healing is much more than professional medical attention.

I messed up and deleted a couple paragraphs.

Please just let me have my baby back. I will be so grateful. She shouldn’t be punished for who I am, who my family is, or me having to be revolutionary. I would give all this up and be ordinary if that was an option. I have always just wanted to be ordinary. Tena is my taste of normal and ordinary and love. I just need some ordinary.

Love Always and please give her a fuzzy blanket to sleep with.

Nicole D Graves

Dear Southern LA Farmers

Dear Southern La Farmers

You all know why my Grandma Kudearoff was like a God to me? Because she offered unconditional love. Not just to me, but to everyone. Unconditional love is very important and something that is missing in today’s world. I want to be like my Grandma Kudearoff and be remembered for loving everyone unconditionally. I dont want to destroy or abuse people. I can see the good in everyone even the people who have done me wrong. I want to stay this way.

I have always loved unconditionally and just asked for people to do better. When you do wrong you do better and change your actions to do right by a person. No one has ever done right by me. And I have to believe this is because my Dad would never let anyone.

I know you all have a way with finding people and getting things done. Communication is my thing, but getting things done is your thing. Please reach out to A1 and Mr. Utah and let them know doing right by me is an option and it is even the expected thing now.

Even more importantly, my dog Teka who is 13 years old and half blind got picked up by someone today in Redmond. Maybe the Redmond Farmers can help me too. The man that was supposed to be my husband, please help me. I need you all to motivate the person who picked up my dog teka to get her chip scanned and get her back to me. The E poisons from the cars was strong tonight and she wanders and shes blind and shes friendly. Please help me. Please. Moments like this scare me because how am I ever supposed to have children when people will forever use the people and creatures I love against me. My heart is so very alive but I only get to share it with my dogs. My overt world is my dogs. I am alone in the world without them. Please help me. Please.

Please I’m begging for help. Sure A1 and Mr Utah I want them to want to do right by me. But my dog Teka has never done me wrong and I’m so scared that someone is hurting her right now just because she’s mine. Please do something. Anything, what good is power if you can use it for the important things in life. Is it really then?

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Redmond Please Give Me My Dog Back


I lost my dog Teka. She turns 14 in September and is an 8lb black chiawana mix. She’s amazing and my little girl. She has a dentist appointment on Saturday in Eugene. I have not slept without her years I can’t remember when. She has a brother and they are best friends. She is chipped but she didn’t have a collar on.

I understand my family is probably offering huge privilege for taking her. But please please shes all I have. I know you all get joy out of seeing me hurt, but please give her back. Shes so fragile even though she pretends to be so tough. Shes like me. We have both had really hard lives.

Please get her chip scanned and get her back to me. Please I’m begging. I can’t offer much right now in this moment but I will do amazing things when I can. Teka is my baby girl. Please give her back. Please. Please. I really never ask for much for me. But I need her, shes a part of my heart and that’s why shes a fool for my destruction. Please dont punish me for having a heart. Please please give me my dog back. I will get you cash. Please get my dog back to me.

Nicole Graves

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Monday July 25th 2022 Moon in Cancer Sun in Leo A Family of Cult Leaders & Drunk On Dreams And Materialism

Let me just write some stuff out so I can make sense of it all.

My Dad is a cult leader. This makes sense because I have been telling people I grew up in a cult for a couple decades now. However, I now realize that my Grandma Kudearoff was cult leader. This is why the people loved her so much. It’s why going places with her felt like she was a celebrity. It’s why there were so many flowers from so many people at her funeral. People loved her just like I did/do. She made people feel loved. My Dad is the one who wanted her gone because she was competition and because I loved her. I listened to her, but I would argue with my parents. If they all told me different things I would have believed my Grandma Kudearoff. She was like a God to me. She still kind of is if I’m honest with myself. Shes the only human live I have known and it was fake and manufactured but it made my brain react in ways that it was real. She was really good at making people feel loved. She didn’t buy people. They flocked to her because being in her presence felt good and put your soul at ease. Dont get me wrong she was a fiesty lady and when she was mad you best stay out the way and pray you were not the cause. However, she vented and yelled and let the emotions move through her and went back to her normal self. She could chew someone a new asshole and then turn to you and make you feel loved in her next breath. I’m sure that’s a cult leader thing. But she was good at it. I always thought the Kudearoffs were the cult I grew up in. And they were. After they killed my Grandma they were all lost. Now I realize its because my Dad decided to try to kill my Grandma shoes and take her place. This is why Aunt Lydia and Aunt Lana are the only ones who really survived my Grandmas death. Everyone else died with her, including me.

Now I realize my Dad is also a cult leader. He has is military army and his professional army. I was able to take his military army from him in a little over 6 months into this revolution. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was just trying to survive. I still am.

This week I learned of his professional army. These are the people who are not loyal to where they came from, but have epigenetics similar to the dark side. These people do not honor the covert war rules and/or the farmers. They have gone rogue. However, most of them have now dropped out of this war.

Today, I was greeted at Walmart getting lunch by people who have not committed great sins but who still lost after materialism and possessions. They have been kept small and never experienced having enough. But what is enough? There is never enough right?

My Dad doesn’t make people feel loved like my Grandma Kudearoff did. He controls people with money and their dreams. He gets them high on materialism and drunk on their dreams. He has done this to me my whole life. He even did this to me with magazine column years after I stopped talking to him. He made me feel like I had arrived and achieved greatness in something I loved. But in reality it was just another layer of my Truman show. I never saw real people till last winter in National City California by the border. At 40 years old after traveling the world I finally found real people at the Walmart Super Center in National City. It was only once and the first time I ended up there. But I saw them. I saw their pain. Here I was on a mission to stay alive, but these people had lived like me my whole life only they knew they were being destroyed. They were so far from drunk on their dreams it’s not even funny. They were beat down by the world. Yet they still got up everyday to survive. These people are the ones who make the world go round everyday. These are the people I am fighting for. These are my people because I have lived like them, only my prisons have looked at prettier and more socially acceptable. My prisons looked like privilege to most people.

The people left fighting this war and signing up to get drunk on their dreams dont understand it’s just another kind of prison. It looks better on the outside but it is so much darker on the inside. My Dad has no love to offer. All he will sell you is lies. I’m not going to lie, they are attractive lies and many people have spent their whole lives striving for these lies. But they are no good. A prison is a prison. He gives you privilege because you will get strung out on it. And like a heroin addict you will do anything for your next fix. This is why there are Autistic epigenetic triggers. These triggers allow for your brain to process dopamine differently and it allows for addiction. You are predestined on a biological level and gene level to be an addict. There is no way you can resist unless you consciously understand what is happening. Also these triggers allow for you to be more attached to material possessions than people. Autistic people love things. Have you seen a header house before? That’s autism and the fear of not having enough. Materialism and Autism go hand in hand.

Now let’s take into account the dyslexic epigenetic triggers. These make you creative brain based. Which means logical is hard for you. So not only do you have to fight to get out of your reptilian brain. Then you have to fight to get out of the right side of your brain and into the left side where logical thought occurs. Its war for you to get to logic. Being creative brain based means if you have an original thought it will most likely be about go to go about doing something. You never even thought to consider why you are doing this thing. You just want to figure out how.

Now do you all see how my Dad has set you all up to fail. He doesn’t love you. Just as he doesn’t love me or my Brother. To him we are all his ungrateful and unworthy children. He hates us and feels like we deserve to be his puppets.

Puppet mastery is not love. It’s not even kind. My Dad is using and destroying you all who are still signing up to fight this war, just like he has used and abused me and my Brother.

My Brother still lives in the bedroom I grew up in as a child. He still lives in the prison we were raised in. Does that sound like privilege to you? Does that sound like a dream come true? And then look at me, I have been running for my life ever since I left home as a teenager and dropped out of high school. I could never run far enough away.i never was able to escape. Once my Dad knows who you are, you will never be able to escape. So those dreams he promises to hand you all may look bright and shiny. But I promise they have hidden strings that are invisible but will always lead him back to you. Dont get caught up in the spiderweb of lies and drink on the dreams my Dad sells. They are love, they are a lie and it’s a trap. Beware and be aware.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Mon July 25 2022 Moon in Gemini Sun in Leo Evil Gas

They gassed me with something that made me feel evil yesterday. I remember it from childhood and from when I was with A1. It’s the same gas they use on my Brother in his bedroom. This is just another example of why you can’t trust your emotions. Emotions can be manipulated and they can lie. They can be created and be fake. You are not your emotions. However if you let your emotions dictate the actions you take you give them power over you and then anyone who can emotionally manipulate you has power over you. My family and the war games have spent countless resources on learning how to emotionally manipulate people. So it’s best just to take emotions with a grain of salt and wait things out. The poisons pass and so do feelings.

Everything is still the same. I’m just not hungry for the blood of my enemies. But I’m not going to lie thinking about the blood of my enemies has enabled me to keep going at so many points in my life. Its human to see justice and revenge. My family always told me I was wrong when I voiced my desire for any kind of revenge. But denying any part of you is a dangerous endeavor. Once you deny one part you are in danger of denying all your parts. It’s okay to have thoughts and desires that feel wrong at times. Thoughts, desires, and emotions can be planted in you. However, it’s your choice to choose what you grow.

Yesterday I realized I have all the same evil in my Gene’s as my family. All the same evil. Yet, I have chosen to grow other things. With my epigenetics and my everyday life decisions I have made myself into a better person, a more evolved person. By choosing the path less traveled and denying my reptilian brain on countless occassions I have grown into something my family is not and probably never will be. It’s hard, it hurts, its completely unsatisfying most of the time, but then there are moments like today where I am so very grateful that I chose not to grow the evil and live there. What a dark place to live! However, I have visited that place on countless occassions. This is what my family and the war games do: they give you a preview of what life could be like and then you get to choose if you accept it. They want you to believe that you have to accept what they give you and accept learned helplessness. But it’s all a nocebo and a lie. You are in control of your reality and who you are. Never second guess your control over who you are. However its healthy to allow energy and feelings to flow through you. You can’t deny them and lent them up inside you because then they do become part of who you are. Let energy flow. Emotions are energy in motion. If you stop the flow that is when weird shit starts to happen and things get upside down. Be willing to say I change my mind or that was not me. Be willing to be wrong and human. Its embarrassing and hard, but it’s a part of the human experience.

So I will still be contacting A1 and Mr Utah, but I no longer am hoping for blood and guts. I hope we can change the world with peace and hope. However the realist in me still says a small handful is completely worth changing the world for generations to come. It’s not vicious if its logical. If its logical it usually is the right thing to do. There will always be some wiggle room and room for interpretation, but logic has rarely lead me astray. Emotions on the other hand have allowed me to take myself out back and get shot.

Emotions lie, never forget that.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Sunday July 24th 2022 Moon in Gemini Sun in Leo A Moment zi Have Dreamed Of

I have been resisting revenge and murder since I was 4 and thought about stabbing my Mom with a kitchen knife out of the butcher block. I logically told myself there was a chance I wouldn’t kill her and then she would kill me. I was a smart 4 year old. Can I be extremely honest with you all. A part of me Hope’s A1 doesn’t want to be friends. It will only take a small handful of people who we take out back and shoot for the rest of the world to fall in line with the new ways. A small handful is all it will take. This maybe my only chance in life at anything close to murder or being like a serial killer like my family. My one chance. And I have waited for a lifetime. It’s like God is rewarding me for being so patient and good.

Can you imagine what A1 is feeling right now? My Dad is telling him not worry and it’s not a big deal, this is under control. And A1 has been conditioned not to think for himself. However he knows I’m not under control and this is a big deal. No one has me under control and I am a threat to the ring of pedophiles who runs the overt world and covert war. My Dad is one of them, but they all will pay for his arrogance.

My grandma Kudearoff wasn’t fancy for her father as much as she was fancy for her association with the Catholic church. My relationship with God and my speaking up about the sexual abuse as a child has made me an enemy of both church and state. And I represent both church and state.

When someone is drowning and you offer them help, they reach for your hand. The farmers and I have both been drowning for a lifetime. However when we found each other in Southern California in November we changed the whole equation. And then when I found the farmers up in Oregon this year I consciously changed the equation again. Now we all have each other. We may not agree on a lot but we agree on a common enemy who has been drowning us all. Lack of communication and withholding of information is what has allowed for this all to get so far.

However, with my belief in freedom of information and the lengths that I have taken to reach the people I offer is all a new way. I no longer have to stress about creating a revolution. I am the revolution. As long as I am alive with my beliefs about freedom of information we will not only have a chance for better we will consciously be working towards better. We are the revolution, we dont have to build it. We just have to be it. Its simple but it won’t be easy.

Do you ever have those days where life just seems to come together? Today was an amazing day where so many puzzle pieces of my life came together into logical order. I love order and I love logic.

I’m completely okay with going back to Eugene and getting another temp job. But I’m starting to believe I might not have to because I’m not the only one who is pissed off and tired of being kept small. I think we all are. And if all we have to do is take a small handful of people out back and shoot them for us all to have a better life with potential. Why the hell should anyone feel any kind of guilt about following through on it? People kill each other everyday in this world both overtly and covertly. What is a small handful of it will change the whole world for generations to come. Statistically I think the odds are forever in our favor.

Happy Hunger Games! Wait for it, wait for it, the moon is in Gemini people are stuck in their heads in thought. Give it a day or two and the moon will be in cancer and people will be overwhelmed by their emotions. When would you approach your enemy? When they are stuck in their head or in their nonexistent heart with a side of anxiety?

God is good.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Sunday July 24 2022 Moon in Gemini Sun in Leo Church Meeting with The Farmers

Last night, I realized I need to take the lead in my overt world and stop accepting what I am allowed or get handed. If I’m going to be a good leader, I need to be the master of my own destiny. However, my Dads professional army is what stands between me and my career freedom. The people in this army are all new. Everyone wants to be apart of the elite group. These are the people who my Fad and Brother use to rig the stock market. Technically, being that I outrank my Dad, Mom, and Brother even combined these people are my army. Yet, my Dad will never give them up and my Brother will never as well even after my Dad dies.

This professional army is how my Dad has gained control over the farmers. He uses this army on them just as he does on me. My mom helped him build this army and then he used it against her to make her sit in a cubicle for most of her professional career. She’s more educated and smarter than him, but he cheated her out of her overt world. Just as he does countless people. People sign up to be apart if this army because they view it as the only way to success. People who explore and experience potential are expected to partake in this Army to ensure their ability to have a good career. This is why the people in San Francisco and the silicon valley were so quick to jump on board my revolution. They should not have to take part in the destruction of they partook in finding their potential. They are like me they believe in mastery and being good at things rather than earning a career based on privilege.

The farmers have been farming for generations. It only takes my Dad using this Professional army against them to take out generations of progress. Or to create years of debt. Just like he has done to me. The only way the farmers and I are going to be masters of our own destinies is by taking out this professional army that people are still singing up to be apart of. We need to eliminate these people who aren’t loyal to where they come from but not able to be controlled by the dark side farmers. These people are without checks and balances. And we all know absolute power corrupts all. This is the roots to my Dads corruption. We take away these people and he will be manageable. We all will have better lives. It’s a simple equation and I think I have even found a simple solution.

So what’s the solution? First we use accountability, acknowledge them publically, use fear tactics to create the actions we desire, we reward the behaviors we enduced, and then we live a good life and focus on love. Oh I think I forgot we make examples out of people to create the fear we wish to motivate people to make the change we wish to see. Again simple equation.

So how do we do all this? Well All the farmers and I need to team up. If we wish to eliminate our greatest enemy we need to work together towards this common goal. We agree to disagree on a lot of things. However we all agree that all of our lives will be better without this professional army. Finding common ground is the to cooperation. We will then create bonds while taking out this common enemy that will enable us all to overcome our differences down the road on other issues. When people go to war together they create bonds that are unbreakable. So this is the beginning of many beautiful relationships that will enable us to change the war games forever. We are going to come together in taking down Hitler Jr. Aka my Dad. My uncle Norm Bennit from Idaho Hitler’s son did not want anything to do with this professional army. I now realize this is what my mom and dad were building when they dug me around in a motorhome on weekends for a couple years after my grandma Kudearoff was killed. They tried to get my Uncle Nirm in on the destruction. He left so fast and I never saw him again or heard much about him. Not everyone in my family is like my Dad. I dont know much about his side, but I would like to believe some of them are interested in better like me. My cousins on that side went to college so that’s a step in the right direction.

Anyways back on subject. So how do all the farmers and I come together to take out this professional army. Well, you know what this army is most scared of? What makes them stay up at night? Accountability, especially public accountability. My blog and chip in my head has allowed me to learn how to keep these people manageable. I didn’t understand what I was doing, but I do now. Granted there will be the select few who dont care about accountability and see the payoff for their association with the professional army as more motivating than the pain of public accountability. However, for those people we will just have to increase the pain factor. Once again, simple solutions are the best.

So what we are going to do is create the Accountability Network. This is going to be a network that holds these professional army members accountable for their acts that earn them privilege and their place in this professional army. Accountability is a super power. And people rarely want to be accountable for their sins in the covert world. My family enslaved people based on this fact. Once again simple solutions are the best.

How do we do this? Well I nominate Ryan Traw and Anythony Ryan Payne to head up the Accountability Network for me. The farmers, all the farmers from Washington, Oregon. To California will do the same and create their own chapters and these chapters will communicate freely among one another. And eventually we will get all the farms involved because people travel and we deserve to know who people really are.

I choose these two boys to head up my chapter because they tried to turn me into their own personal slav and use me as a farm animal. However when I called on them earlier this year they were able to get things done in an amazingly quick fashion. I live results. These boys also know I have an overactive sense of revenge as my family likes to call it. So if they dont provide me with results they are better to me dead. I’m not sure what the covert equivalent to take them out back and shoot them is, but I’m sure the farmers are willing to help me figure it out.

See everyone in my family creates world wars, regular wars, or the serial killers except for me. I was taught to be civil, while they were taught to be vicious. Do you know how many times I have been raped, kidnapped, held hostage, and had my murder attempted? Countless times. My family has tried to break me in every way. In order for me to accept this treatment they taught me civility. I refuse to be a covert asshole like them. If I’m going to be an asshole I’m going to be an overt in your face asshole more like my great grandpa Hitler. I would rather create a world war than war on the people I claim to love. I want to live the people I live and take care of them. And I want to destroy the people who have hurt and destroyed me. It’s a super logical equation. Covert destruction of the ones you love who care for you is the most disgusting and illogical thing ever. I refuse to be like my family. If I want someone dead they will know it. And I have no problem admitting that I want to see the pain and fear in their eyes as they die. That thought brings comfort to my soul. That’s how I know I’m from my family and I need to be careful not to turn into them.

Back to accountability network, I suggest the farmers create their chapters using people who have done them wrong just like me. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. This will ensure we get the results we seek. When you are better without them unless they create the desired results, it ensures those desired results manifest in a timely fashion. Allow people to pay reparations for their sins. It creates justice and balance in the world. It feels good. Because if just kill them there is no good only more evil and destruction. Let’s do good.

Okay so I’m shouting out to San Francisco and Silicon Valley, I need your help. You all are the best and the brightest when it comes to technology. I need you all to create an App for the Accountability Network. It will allow us to post photos and describe what people have done, their sins if you will. It will allow us to create profiles for people and a database so we can search by license plate, location, workplace, etc. Ut needs to have a point system so users get hits if dopamine when they view profiles. The more profiles the more points they get. Make it like a video game for the users. Something they can flick through on commercial breaks or as their mind is wandering throughout the day. A tik tock experience so to speak but with a point system so we can create a leaderboard fir people who have viewed the most. This will allow us to create accountability. We reward the user for viewing profiles, while deterring people from wanting an association with the professional network because people will not only who they are, but their sins, demographics and socioeconomics. It will be like a social media account for sinners in the professional army. This way when we want to grant access to something of value we have a database to search and find out who people really are and if they are deserving of the value we are offering. Example: Say your child wants to have a sleep over with a friend from school. You look up that friend’s parents on the app and now you are able to see if allowing your child to sleep over at that friends house is really a good idea. Another example, you are renting a home or hiring fir a position at work, you need to know who you are inviting into your life. People come with baggage and in the world they come with destruction. You need to know what kind of destruction you are inviting into your world. It will allow us all to keep ourselves safe. And it will motivate people to be good people.

Fear is the best motivator when people have been designed biologically to be in a fear state. Yes, over time we will change this. But it will take time. We have to accept what is and work with it how it is now. Nit how we wish it to be. Accept what is and move forward. There is a communist saying, “Uts better to be feared than love.” In the world my family has created this is true. But we need people to live in fear of the dark side of themselves. Just like I do. It keeps me good because I know I could create some pretty big evil. It’s a healthy fear and very productive. Look at me the only non serial killer in my family. If it can work on me, it will work on everyone else. Weak people can be controlled because weak people give into their desires for acts of destruction. It takes great strength to be a good person and overcome the desires from your reptilian brain. It’s hard, but it’s a simple process. We just need to motivate people to do it. If we incentivize being a good person people will do it. Once again simple solutions are best.

So San Francisco and silicon valley, I’m going to go ahead and speak for the farmers and say that the protection they have offered me is extended to those of you willing to help create this App. Send it anniymously to my Ryan’s in the Eugene area and we will get it out to all the chapters and all the people. At a later date when it is safer we will acknowledge who you are with great thanks publicly. It should only take a day or three to create this app for those of you who have mastered apps. Sure there will need to be maintenance but I’m sure we can get someone to take care if that. And if you all dont take action. I’m sure the farmers have been wronged by someone willing to make up for their sins by designing our app.

I was going to ask the farmers. How do you all communicate with the people? People need to know who is giving you a hard time. The people enjoy good quality food, that has been raised ethically, and has provided you with a good payoff for your efforts and talents. We want to support the people who keep us alive and healthy. This app will allow the farmers to reach the people who are the end consumers of their products. We need to have a direct line of communication so we can all make choices that support our beliefs and ethics. This is what the farmers are missing. They need to be able to invite the end consumers to make decisions that support their greatest good. When you ask for help, people will give it to you if they can. That is what this revolution has taught me. I dont need to boss anyone as long as I have good intentions and I ask for help when I need it. Its beautiful and simple. Life is supposed to be easy and put us all at ease. It not supposed to create dis ease.

Okay so we have accountability networks, we have chapters from each farmer, we have an app to create accountability publically, what’s next?

Well next we make examples of some people and create fear in the people who choose to still associate with my dads professional army. How do we do this? Well allow me to start. Of course I will need the help and backup from the Southern LA farmers.

Technically I am the boss/leader of the professional army because I outrank my Dad. And these Army members are who my Dad has used against me my whole life to destroy me and keep me small. So they have a lot of reparations to make towards me. Literally a lifetime worth. However, I would like to start with a small handful.

In order to be master of my own destiny in the overt world I will need some alliances in the overt world. Hold on potty break.

Ok back to my full circle moment, being master of my own destiny. There are a couple people who I have allowed to try to make up for what they have done to me this past year and they have not so graciously declined. I’m hoping the Southern LA farmers will help me with these people because they are not loyal to where they came from, they are only loyal to my Father. It’s like he’s a cult leader. I’m not too far off there huh? Anyways, A1 aka Tae Roh was the last person to tape me, he attempted my murder for years, gaslighted me and tried to drive me crazy, poisoned me in every way, and left me for dead in the desert when I had cancer. He owes me and I would like to be rewarded for my good behavior in not waging an overt war on him. His orivilefevand financial well being has come at the cost of my destruction. He viewed that destruction to be a necessary evil. He even tried to get me to marry him before I died. He owes me to say the least. And he knows with my “Overactive” sense of revenge as the people who have tried to kill me like to put it that I will not give up on getting reparations from him. I dont care if I covertly have to take him out back and shoot him and get my reparations from his niece and nephew who were designed to take over for him. Or if he has children himself now those will work to. The privilege his family has came at the cost of my destruction. I will be paid back for this. I’m the most powerful woman in the war games. If I can’t get even with the people who have harmed me the most, what good is this power?

So what I’m going to do is reach out to A1 and tell him I need help getting my continuing education completed for my real estate license, I need him to take his name off my jeep, help me pay off my credit cards, etc. He needs to put me back to where I was before he destroyed me. I deserve to sell real estate because it makes me happy. I live sales it allows me to channel the energy I could use for great evil. So he’s going to make up for the things he has done and we are going to be civil. The thing about me is everyone I have ever known has tried to kill me, except my best friend from elementary school who also is fancy and was not told about the war games. One person out of 41 years is not the greatest odds, but it has allowed for me to be understanding to some degree of why people do what they do. They viewed killing me as something they were helpless over. And I can accept that if the choose to make it up to me because they all earned privilege for trying to kill me.

So A1 and I are going to be friends and he’s going to help me and I can probably help him some with his real estate people. I can train them on how to do what I do in real estate. Which is essentially, how to sell real estate without privilege. And if A1 refuses then I can report back to the Southern LA farmers and we can go from there. I’m unsure of how you all get things done, but I’m a by all means necessary kind of person. I’m sure you all are kind of similar right?

Then I have Mr Utah aka Alan Pousaint. He owes me tried to enslave me, has not helped me this year even though his privilege came at the cost of my destruction. I will reach out to him and let him make reparations in kind manner no need to be rude or cruel. And same goes for him, if he doesn’t respond in a grateful manner with respect then I will ask for help from the southern LA farmers. I’m sure you all are more than happy to help me with making an example of a few people because this will enable us all to be free of the professional army my dad has created to keep us all small. This is my Dads last army and the sooner we take it from him the sooner we are free to explore our potential. It all comes down to a few people.

After I create my examples, then we keep going through the people who have wronged us or are just now getting in on the professional network because my Dad is grasping at last straws. We keep holding people accountable.

Each farmer uses his chapter of the accountability network to create accountability for those who have kept us small at the orders of my Dad in order to gain privilege for themselves. It shouldn’t take long to encourage people to be good and do the right thing and earn their own way in life rather than destroy others for privilege. Sure some people will resist and be reluctant to do better, but we just keep going because I dont want to be a serial killer like the rest of my family. I want to be a good person.

So I’m going to reach out to the two people I am going to start with and I will report back to the Southern LA farmers. I hope for things to go smoothly because it will set a good example for the rest. However, if we have to take them out back and shoot them. So ve it, they had the option to choose differently for themselves. Do better or die maybe could be the motto for the accountability network. Short and sweet.

And I hope the tech savvy people get busy creating the app, and my Ryan start recruiting people to work with them on the accountability network chapter for me, while the farmers create all their own local chapters. We all have a lot to work on and plan. Should we do a weekly church meeting for the accountability network. Accountability can be our new religion. I like that. Find God or die another motto.

So fingers crossed everything works smoothly this week. I can’t lie I would be pleased if this week results in blood and guts. But civility is always better.

I love you all, I’m excited for what the future holds for us all! Today we stand up for ourselves like never before.

See you all next Sunday for church.

Nicole D Graves

A Farmer Meeting

I need all the farmers to tune in. We will be having a meeting and discussing our common enemy: The professional Army my Dad has. This is his Army that he uses to keep us all small and limit our potential. I just recently identified them yesterday as their own group. But I have been kept up two nights in a row with lead poisons. Lead poisons are what made my mind an INFJ. I do puzzles when I experience this poison. My Dad knows this poison enables me to put pieces together and solve puzzles. However, I stead of stopping or switching to a different poison he keeps using it. Take about biting your nose to spite your face. This is the same stuff that allowed me to realize I reached the Southern LA Farmers the night before. Get everyone to tune in I got a plan. Its choppy but I’m stoked about it. My mind was created to be a weapon of destruction and I have never had people to share it with. Especially people who have common problems and interests that we can work towards bettering. I only slept a couple hours and I get chatty when I get excited. I figured out how to take out our biggest common enemy. It will be fun. It’s a war people! I’m finally in on the war. Its ball time. Okay talk soon gotta charge my phone.

Nicole D Graves

Saturday July 23 2022 Moon In Gemini Sun in Leo Hello Southern California

Well hello southern California, it’s been awhile. I dont know if you all are still tuned in, but I learned in California that all I have to do is connect with one person and let them feel my heart and everything else works out just fine. So as long as there is one of you all tuned in, that’s all I need. Southern California was unexpected and kind of an accident. All last year was a shot show. My life was overtly taken from me like never before. There was nothing covert about it other than no one would admit to what was happening. It was a lot like my childhood and really hard. However, I feel like I have a better grasp on things now.

I ended up in Southern California because I was fighting for my right to have a say in my own life. And in turn this meant allowing others to know how they have been set up to fail just like I had been. Freedom is the most valuable thing to me. And I want everyone to have their own freedom. I was on a mission last winter fueled by spit and vinegar. I held signs on street corners with my blog because I had not connected with the person in Compton who gifted me with access to you all in your card and homes. And even after that gift it took me a couple months to figure out how it was happening and how to control it. No one wants to believe they have a chip in their head that’s allows others a window into their logical thoughts. Can you imagine how violating that would feel? It was a lot but honestly it made so much sense. And sense in my life is quite priceless to come by. So I appreciate being in the know now. It took awhile to come to terms. It seems harder for others who interact with me to deal with. They take me stating the logical facts same being rude. But in my mind stating the obvious is just confirming that we all are looking at the same thing. That’s hard for people because they like to lie to themselves. I get it, the truth often hurts. I would ignore it to if I had that luxury. I ignored the truth for most of my life and it almost got me killed numerous times.

Thank you to the farmers in Souther LA. I didn’t understand what you all did for me last year. Thank you for hearing me out. You know I have learned you can look up on Google where the fancy families and people with power in the war games live by googling “farms near me” or “farms in so and do city”. I learned that when I came back to Oregon and I used to find the decision makers in Washington. And last night I used it to figure out what happened in LA last year. Thank you for looking out for me before I even puzzle pieces you into my reality.

So much has changed since last November. So much. We still are being destroyed in numerous ways, but I have found the words to describe it so much more clearly. However that also means I understand how to rectify a lot more of it too. Cause and effect you know.

I need to talk to you all about how this revolution and how the world has changed for me personally. Because it’s been really overwhelming. I understood who my family was last winter, but now the summer after I can feel what I realized last winter. They have been trying to kill me for over three decades. Saying that logically and feeling it are two different things. I feel it now. I hear the hate in their voices as they have talked to me throughout the years and my whole life. I feel their hate. I have a hard time killing bugs and my family wanted to kill me. The only reason I am alive is because my dad wanted me to breed for him and treated me like a farm animal.

See I have come to find out. I am the rightful ruler of the dark side. Me the one who has never even gotten a say in her own life. I am the ruler of a war no one wanted to tell me about because I dont believe in destruction or war. I believe in potential, evolution, being better, and I often wear rose colored glasses because they are better for my epigenetics than being a realist.

So in a way this great news for us all because I can give us all the things I was fighting for last winter. However, I won’t ever get for myself what I was fighting for. I was fighting for a say in my life to be me. And yet here i am an even bigger symbol of my families than i ever imagined possible.

I gave never wanted to be in charge of anyone but myself. I even let my dogs have a say in their own lives. I tell them we take turns. I dont know how to be a leader. Because all I have seen is that absolute power corrupts all. And I have experienced the pain from absolute power. I’m scared. I’m human I’m bound to make mistakes. No longer is this revolution about me earning my freedom from my family. It’s about me helping you all earn your freedom from my family. In order for this to happen I have to be willing to step into to my place of power. A place that was destined for me by birthrights. However I was never told or informed or prepared for this role. Sure I know I’m a good person. But being a good person and being the ruler of the dark side are two completely separate ballgames. I’m scared I’m going to fail. I mean I understand I really can’t do worse than my family because they aim to destroy and I’m not like that. But I dont know the rules to any of this other than what my heart and tell me and the puzzle pieces I put together slowly over time.

My Dad is still washing a war against me. Even though its treason and against the rules of the war games for him to do so. I am reaching out because I need help. I need to find someone else with enough power to tell my Dad no and that he needs to get in line. I think you all have this power. And also I’m hoping you all will help me stay in line. I need someone to watch out for me and someone to keep me in my place. Absolute power corrupts all. I need checks and balances in place so I dont get to be like the rest of my families. Being like them is my worse nightmare. I need someone to help me make sure I dont turn out to be like them. I need to remain a good person. All this is so very overwhelming. It’s a lot for one person let alone one person still new to the war games. The destruction I have lived, but I have never even had the power to end the destruction in my own life.

And that is something else I need your help with. My family is still destroying me in overt world because they think it’s their birthrights to do so. I need help getting a job. They want to keep me small and keep me working temp jobs and wrecking up credit card debt. They want to keep me talking concentration camp showers so I die and they can pretend they were destined to rule the war games. I know the covert war makes other people’s phones ring with jobs of privilege and all kinds of other things. I need some magic to happen. I don’t know the rules but I need my overt world to change. And I have not been able to facilitate this change even though I have more than earned it. I just need a job so I can have my overt life back like I have never had before.

Also I’m going to need people in my overt world who aren’t sent by my family to destroy me. I am going to need a friend or friends. More than one would be amazing and overwhelming in the best way. I need someone or a couple people to have children with and for them to help me raise them. I’m going to need to not only be able to financially support myself, but my children as well. But this all starts with a job that isn’t a temp job that is meant to keep me small and stuck.

When I was in Arizona healing cancer and I was really sick. I had this vision of walking on the beach with my two dogs. It was so real and I knew it was my future. This kept me going while I was stuck in that 1 bedroom apartment. It kept me going and hot me through real estate school. I knew I had to have money to live in California. If the beach was to be mine I had to earn it. Well, I spent my life savings again. The first time on cancer. And this time on being revolutionary. I understand I need to earn my place in the overt world. However, I just need some help. I dont need to be saved, I just need some.

So to all the farmers and decision makers in southern California, I need you all to help me and I probably will ask for your help again because we all need help. I need someone to trust in the war games and you all helped me before I even knew who you were or that you existed. I am hoping this means you see how important it is for me to succeed in the overt world so we all can have a better covert life. The dark side farmers and the Scandinavian farmers seemed to put the Kudearoffs in their place. I’m hoping you all down in Southern California can put my Dad in place and give me back my life like I have never had before. I dont really care how it happens as long as I am free. Please help me be free of my families so I can help us all be free from them.

I appreciate you all more than words can ever describe. For now I guess we can be penpal, but one day I hope to have you all over for dinner or a bbq. And hopefully a baby shower. Here’s to dreams that are realities of the future.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Saturday July 23 2022 Moon in Gemini Sun in Leo I Already Found Them

My Dad’s enemies are in the greater La area. When I was in LA last November (2021) the people there stopped destroying me inside city limits. I didn’t understand what was happening then because I had not put the pieces together yet about the farmers. I still had not put a lot of pieces together, but especially I had no clue who I was.

There was only one group of people destroying me. People in corporate and business vehicles who were not loyal to where they came from, but not quite a part of the dark side. Just like now.

Hello Hello, I need to talk to the Farmers in Southern California specifically the greater LA area. Tell them I did not have the whole story back in November. There is so much more than epigenetic triggers, covert genocides, and dysfunctional processing of oxytocin. There is so much more. Please get them to tune in tonight and I will explain everything I did not have the words for. Southern California I know it’s been a long time and I talk a lot, but tonight I need you all to tune in. I have a very important announcement. Please get everyone to tune in, but especially the farmers. I appreciate you all and we will talk tonight.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves