July 2022 – Page 2 – You Deserve To Heal

Friday July 22 2022 Moon in Taurus Sun in Leo Dear Dad

Dear Dad

How’s your colon doing? It’s been 479 days now. What you been eating? I’ve been eating raw meat because it bypasses my colon. I have written to you on numerous occasions throughout the past year. However now I see you are the one who has underestimated me my whole life. This being underestimated has kept me alive, but honestly it’s really insulting. It’s as if you can’t see your own short comings. That leaves you with a hell of a blind spot. But you have had these short comings broadcast before I’m not the first time this has happened. What really happened in the middle east when I was young when you came home and ate ice cream on the couch with me for months? Mom loved whatever happened so it had to be bad. I bet that had something to do with your blind spots just like now.

I laid in the sun most of the day changing my ph and killing some C Diff while playing with my tarot cards. What we have is a 5 if rods situation you and me. You are the Devil and the Emperor in reverse. While I am the high priestess, the hierophant, and the magician. We are battling it out. This is my war and its against you my father. Funny cause when you die I think it makes my birthrights even fancier. I have your birthright as well. So my outcome in this 5 if Ross situation is going to be the justice card, 4 of Ross, and ten of pentacles. Your outcome is the death card.

You have taken everything from me my whole life. Even last year when I came back to Oregon all I wanted was a decent job and I got my insurance license even though the school I signed up for was a Truman show filled with things not on the exam. I have overcome so many obstacles. The only reason I did not overcome them all was because I didn’t know we were at war. However, you have known. And you still have cheated and rigged the system at every turn. Why would you do that unless you knew you are inferior? Dont you take pride in what you do? If evil is your thing, should you be proud of how you get the results you desire? Does anyone take pride in anything?

My whole life I have taken the overt world so seriously. But today I give up on taking the overt world serious at all. It’s all a lie. It’s all a weapon of destruction. You are never going to let me have any kind of good life. Slowly but sure over the past 5 years I have given up Everything. I dont need much now. Gas money, food every other day, and my dogs. I have truly learned to be a minimalist and honestly I kind of love it. I miss clean clothes and having a big bed and lotion. But other than that I’m pretty happy in my keep. I learned a long time ago to not get too attached to much of anything. And now this ability is driving you nuts because its leaves you without any means to control me.

In Vegas, you tried to get me to have my uterus taken out. But that’s an act of destruction I even knew back then. I probably will not have children who have our Gene’s because what a screwed up lineage do we come from? But as long as I’m alive and have my Female organs I will be able to have a child or three. A couple extra are probably necessary because of the families I come from.

Dad if I dont get to have a career and home where I get to spoil my munchkins aka my dogs. What am I supposed to focus on? You know I love projects. You know I have this ability to hyoerficus and be super logical putting my feelings aside. Well, today I decided that my war with you is going to be what I hyperfocus on. I dont need to be emotional about what’s happening. It’s always been happening. However now that I understand some of the rules to game I understand what I need to do in order to get my desired results. If I can’t team up with the people. I have no problem looking for your enemies. I know you have them in great numbers and I know they have more than you because they probably believe in potential. Maybe the farmers aren’t ready for what needs to be done. Maybe the Republicans from Red towns are not ready for what needs to be done. But someone will be. Its only a matter of time. Luckily you all have me this war games communication device in my head. I’m a walking talking war games communication hub. The fact that I have a blog is just icing on the cake. Modern technology is pretty amazing huh!

I have learned to make lemonade out if lemons my whole life and this situation is no different. You are weak. People have always backed down to you because of what you represent. You have never earned where you are. Privilege has gotten you to where you are. I hope death scares you because it should. You will be faced with accounting for everything you have done.

I watched you tube videos of great grandpa giving speeches in Europe during world war 2. He was pretty amazing. To be able to convince millions that genocide was the right thing to do and within their right to do is pretty incredible. He wasnt into brainwashing and poisoning people to get them to do what he wanted in masses. Sure he used propaganda and probably some NLP like tactics. And sure I’m sure there was some poison. But people were not as malnourished and genetically modified as they are now to be weak. What’s your claim to fame? What can you do so well millions of people will follow you even blindly at times? I see the people who are left following you and they are blind. I have taken away your military army. I have taken away so many things aka people you thought you would always be able to puppet master. However when people understand how you have destroyed them and set them up to fail fir generations to come they become loyal to themselves. I’m very grateful for this ability in people who have been brainwashed and diseased for a lifetime. Standing up for yourself in ways you never have before is hard. And so I am standing up for myself in ways that I never have so I can help facilitate great change that needs to take place.

So where do your greatest enemies live? I was told never to live east of Arizona. Is that where they live? Or are they in Europe? Or Argentina? I may not know where they live, but I will find them. I have accomplished the unthinkable my whole life. I guess I just keep going.

479 days and Dad I’m ready for war. You have been in the know my whole life. But now I’m in the know and I’m starting to realize how fancy I am per covert war games stuff. I’m fancier than you by a lot and its against the rules for you to declare war on me. I just have to find the right people who will stand up for what is right. Because you are out if bounds Dad. I love you, but you are out of bounds. I will always love you. I have seen your heart. It’s a good heart, but you have to listen to it for it to count. Its not supposed to be something you run from.

To all my Revolutionary people in Washington, Oregon, California, Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, and everywhere else I have made it to. I need your help. I need to reach the enemies of my father. I need to reach the people in power who will want to protect me and understand what I have to offer. We all have a chance at better, but we need to reach the right people in a place of power. My Dad is out of bounds and committing treason everyday. I need your help reaching the people who can do something about this. I have been held hostage my whole life. Evil people dont scare me. I have endured the unspeakable and unthinkable. Evil people dont scare someone who has a chip in her head. My Dad doesn’t scare me because with you all finally watching he has to play by the rules more than ever before. I need you all to help me find his enemies. I need to connect with the people in the middle east. Military people I know you are tuned in. I know you all have people all over the world. Please help me find the enemies of my enemy because they will be our allies. The art of war is a simple equation. Put emotions aside and do what is necessary for the greatest good. I’m willing to give up my life to fight this war against my Dad, but you all have to help me.

Dad I love you. Be good to yourself. I wish it didn’t have to be like this. I would live to give you a hug before you die, but that’s just not in the cards for us huh?

Love Always and forever

your daughter

Nicole D Graves

Friday July 22 2022 Moon in Taurus Sun on Leo Journal Entry

Today Leo season starts and today marks a week I have been in the Bend area. Last Saturday I arrived in the evening. My family has been super anxious to have me around these people. Even trying to get me to go to Mt Bachelor to escape the heat. But I love the heat. Their Amygdala damage causes them to be unable to regulate temperature because they are in a constant fear state. The heat is good for my ph balance. It creates a more acidic environment. No wonder I always felt better in Vegas.

I have learned so much since being here. I’m a better person for making this trip. I realized my ph balance is what my family has been using to destroy me my whole life, but especially since Vegas. It’s finally starting to sink in that they have been actively trying to kill me for over 30 years. My brother is an act of destruction in his mere existence. I finally understand why he exists. I finally understand my parents divorce and why they fought so hard over me, but not Ryan. Ryan has always been my Moms weapon of destruction. My Dad didn’t really want him, but over the years they have created a trauma bond. My Dad still wants me to breed and die that’s why he sent me to Texas when I left Santa Fe. He wanted me to breed with someone who works at a pizza place and lives in a 1 bedroom apartment. And then he wanted me to die. So I’m glad I left Houston last summer and went back to Oregon. I appreciate Mitch but he’s just a puppet for my Dad. I wonder if was probably my Dad that got me my magazine column. It makes sense. My aunt Penny worked in the newspaper and Mrs Hitler was into journalism. My dad couldn’t control me with a man so he used my work and my passion. I have never gotten to earn my dreams. They have been stolen from me and replaced with Truman show replicas that are one dimensional. It’s a shallow existence and it’s all fake. From far away it looks bright and shiny but up close its dull and not intriguing. I just realized my work was all a lie in this moment writing this. Wow that was hurtful. Work has always been something I like to take pride in. Well since I found jobs utilizing my passions.

Today, my family had Sheldon from Vegas text and try to get me jealous about him having two jobs. They are like children and will never understand me. Even though they have direct access to my thoughts. Front row seats and they can’t understand what is happening. How can they not see how unintelligent they are? Or do they see and it just makes them mad? Because I have always made them feel inferior. Even when I was 4 I would look at them like they were dumb when they tried to con me with logic equations that didn’t add up.

I don’t just desire a job. I desire an outlet for my passion and a purpose in life. Purpose allows people to survive the unthinkable. My life has been unthinkable in many aspects. Well, probably all aspects.

So while here in Eastern Oregon, I realized I was supposed to live here and marry a farmer from here. They had picked the farmer they were brainwashing me to marry as a child. Grandma Kudearoff had planned my life for me, but when she died Aunt Lana and my Dad made other plans for me. I dont know if my life would have been better here. My family has always gotten people to treat me in a subhuman manner. But I have to believe that if I had known who I was I would have been able to protect myself more. Being in the dark about who I am has been my biggest handicap.

Not everyone knew my Great grandparents were Mr and Mrs. Hitler aka Bennit. People have listen to my Dad and Brother solely based on them being Graves. I have all the fancy birthrights from the Graves family and from the Hitler/Bennit family, but no one will listen to me. I’m just expected to fend for myself and live in isolation and destruction. The covert war rules dont allow for this, but no one wants to risk standing up for what is right. Even though my standing up for what is right has improved everyone’s quality of life on so many levels. Its hurtful to be so unappreciated. A lot of things in my life are hurtful. My family thought that this hurt would break me. And it has but not in the way that they hoped for.

So many of my dreams are beyond unattainable now that I realize who I am. At least now I know I’m not the reason I dont have a good life. Blaming myself was the most hurtful part.

I stopped turning resumes about a week ago. It was all Truman show responses. And the actors seem to be getting worse. I have only been able to get temp jobs since Dustin Sain fired me after getting me to come back home from Southern California. My family does not want me to get comfortable in any sense. Thry must have really uncomfortable lives. Emotional addiction, being constantly stuck in their reptilian brains, and stuck in an overactive fear state so much that they can’t even regulate their body temperature. That’s gotta be rough. When I was in Portland I couldn’t regulate my body temperature for the cold, just like when I was young. But I’ve always had the ability to think logically more so than them. It’s my genetic modifications. They designed me to be better than them. But get mad at me for being better. Its ridiculous and dumb and frustrating.

I look at the world now so differently. It’s all a Truman show. We all live in a Truman show together. Look out your window it’s a Truman show. Everywhere there is grass and it’s there by design to keep us all small. Grass pollen burdens our kidneys and allergies are when your kidneys are in such a stressed state they can’t filter out the toxins. This allows for C Diff to grow more rapidly in your body because your kidneys are backing up. There are so many things that we see as normal that are weapons of destruction. Like swimming lessons for kids, like the dentist, like fresh veggies and fruit. So many things we look at as people being good people are really just acts of destruction. We praise people for their acts of destruction. We reward people for their acts of destruction.

The kids, me, and jeep have fleas from Amber’s house. I realized her ducks and chickens in the backyard have fleas. She told me they eat fleas and I believed her because who lies about something like that. I even gave the dogs fancy flea meds from the vet. We have fleas. I have given them two baths since being here. The first bath I used a towel that I had not washed so it had fleas. I didn’t think about it. I’m the poster child for absent minded professor. I’m always working on the logic equations in my head. It’s hard to focus on the simple tasks at hand. Well today the task at hand is operation kill fleas. I got some mint essential oil yesterday. It poisoned but not too bad. It’s the poison that makes me thirsty. The thirst passes if I just wait it out. But anyways today the car is full of mint essential oil and I dusted the inside with DE and its sitting in the sun. It’s not that hot today, but fingers crossed it works. Then tomorrow do some more laundry and wash the kids again. I have my legs eaten up I can only imagine what the kids gmfeel like. Bathing them and spraying them with mint essential oil seems to really help. It may take a few days but we will win this war eventually.

Yesterday I finished an almost 72 hour fast. It was really helpful. I hung out in the desert at a cemetery by prineville tha two days before and in warm springs the day before that.

They poisoned my food nothing new. But they give me meats that have been sitting out or are old because they know if my stomach is not acidic enough the bacteria will grow in my intestines. But the thing is raw meat gets absorbed in my small intestine and does not go to my large intestines. But still the meat yesterday tasted funny and Teka has not been eating much the past couple weeks cuz the meat is funny. However, I discovered a new poison yesterday. I have been eating it for years or maybe my whole life but yesterday I saw clearly what was happening. I left a lemon in the car while I was washing the dogs. When I ate it, it was hot so all the poisons were absorbed into my bloodstream so quickly it was overwhelming. It was a poison that made me alkaline. I even got cramps in my foot and leg within less than 30 minutes. I felt bloated and anxious. It was weird. But I remember this poison from the last bottle of enzymes I bought when I lived in Arizona. It wasnt AZ strong on the enzymes but enzymes are not supposed to make ta bloated and have anxiety. But those ones did every time. I still have the bottle in Amber’s garage in my two boxes of material possessions. So I’m not going to give up on lemons or the ginger or garlic that they poison. I’m just going to eat less. I have a good 20-30 pounds I could loose. In southern California I got skinny again. Just like I did in Santa Fe. Everytime I am not within the reach of my family even on this run for my life I get healthier. Whenever I go to Eugene I get sick. Everyone there is sick. They just dont realize it cause they dont know any different. I wake up happy almost everyday still. Granted I dont have the hope I used to, but my body feels good. It could be better but it’s still better than it ever has been. My health is worth so much to me. I will never forget when my mom told me I need to accept that I was never going to feel good as a child when I told her I dont feel good. So many people have told me so many hurtful things. And they meant them wholeheartedly.

In this trip to Eastern Oregon I have realized how much people have failed me my whole life. I have chosen the road less traveled and fought hard to be a good person. And here I am right where my family told me it would take me. Alone, homeless, and being destroyed by countless strangers who take joy in my pain even though I want the best for them. I give up fighting. I have fought over a year to convince the people that good and better are worth fighting for. I’m done fighting. I believe the our destiny is prewritten, but we have to accept that destiny in order for it to take place. Maybe the people just aren’t ready. I can’t force them to change their minds or take action. All I can do is take care of my side of the street. I did the right thing by coming here. This was a good last chance for humanity. I can leave here knowing I tried my hardest all year long. Actually my whole life.

I’m going to hang out for the rest of the month and be a bum and go home a take another temp job. And I can save money to go to Southern California for the winter again. And instead of trying to reach the people down there again. I can go camp out at an airport and give my announcement there. International airports have been some of my favorite stops on this adventure because I hope the world hears me. But if I camp out at them for the winter, I should be able to reach the enemies of my family. If the people aren’t ready I can’t force them. But I do know that my family doesn’t belong with the power I have in my being. If I have to find the enemies of my family on an international level. That’s what I have to do. Someone has to be brave enough and understand what is on the line. I have been held hostage and tortured my whole life at least this way I get choose who ends up with the power I possess. I have spent 479 days on top of my whole life trying to get people to be good people. I have survived the unthinkable. I’m done fighting. I surrender to my birthrights and I surrender to the world the people choose to live in. However, I do not surrender into giving the power I possess to the Kudearoffs. They were not intended to have this much power. The world would just get darker than it already is. My life has just been a preview for the people of what their lives will soon be like. If no one wants to take me seriously and understand the time restraints, I’m done trying to force it. I’m done. I accept what is and surrender. A lady and her dogs can only change the world so much. I wish it could be so different. I was hoping for a happy ending that allowed us all to have hope. But maybe those were my rose colored glasses. People have always disappointed me. Why should they be different now when I need them the most?

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Thursday July 21 2022 Moon in Taurus Sun in Cancer What It Feels Like

You know what it feels like to have this many birthrights. It feels like being a farm animal. I was raised to breed and then I was intended to be slaughtered. I have never been treated like a human or an individual. But merely an object to be owned and possessed. No one has ever tried to really interact with. Instead people try to brainwash and train me. I have been imprisoned my whole life just with different jailers. However all of them have tried to kill me.

You know what is scary? I’m not alone. There are others out there like me who are held hostage because of what they represent to their families and in the war games. I am not the only one. You all will just listen to my cries for help because of who my families are.

Please take tonight to think about how you would change the systems to be more just. That’s all we really need is more checks and balances to ensure there is justice in the war games.

How would you ensure that people aren’t murdered when they have the power to change things? How would you keep the small minded from limiting our opportunities for potential because all they see is destruction and people as farm animals.

There is no right or wrong answer, just think about how you would change things to be more just. We all need justice in our lives.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

Thursday July 21 2022 Moon in Taurus Sun in Cancer Birthrights, Destruction. & the Big Picture

Well, the Graves side of my family is more fancy than I ever imagined. You all have been taking orders from my Fad and Brother just based on our last name. You all had no clue who we really are. So many of you Republicans even followed my Dad over to the dark side. You all thought the world would be brighter over there. However, how can life ever be bright or better w oui thought potential? When everyone is kept in a pain state like my Dad and the Kudearoffs like to the only thing that is guaranteed is that those people will perpetuate the pain they are feeling and experiencing. If you want to create evil people you keep them in pain and get them in a malnourished state. Did you all not pay attention during history class when they were teaching you about the Holocaust? If you want to make ruthless people you have to take everything away from them and then offer them privilege for carrying out orders of destruction. When people destroy their own people for privilege the world is destined for darkness.

My Grandpa Kudearoff was a slav. Which means he was a slave. I’m not sure how he ended up with my Grandma Kudearoff. I’m not real sure about a lot of things when it comes to my family. However, slavery ended over 100 years ago. Who the fuck do you think you are that you have to enslave others to experience potential? Potential is something you earn through hard work and dedication. Potential is an inside job. You have to decide you are worthy of it and then do the things necessary to achieve it. Potential is not something someone can gift you with. You have to earn your potential with God. Not with other people who have to enslave others to feel greater than and worthy.

So many people look down on me like I’m the clueless one, but honestly I feel sorry for you all. You all have never known love or potential. You know trauma bonds and destruction. I may not know human love, but my babies aka my dogs aka my munchkins have taught me love. I have never tried to destroy them or hurt them. Sure they have taken part in some healing and health experiments with me that didn’t work out as planned. But I’ve always had good intentions with them. I do the best I can for them Always because I love them. I can’t say that about humans. I have never tried my hardest with a human. And I’m betting you all have never tried your hardest period. Because it’s hard. It’s not the easy way out. But just because something is difficult does not mean it is not worth it. The things in life worth fighting for are hard. Because easy comes easy. Easy is not rewarding. Because it’s easy.

So I dont know where we go from here. I’m literally the offspring and descendant of some of the great evil in the world. I told you all its within my birthrights fo create world wars. My great grandpa sold the world on enslaving the Jews. And here I am selling you on equality because we deserve better. We all deserve better. But no one is going to hand us better we have to earn it. You earn better by being better. It’s not something you will be handed. Its something you work for everyday. No matter how hard it gets. You work for it. You earn yourself better. And you do that in the everyday little decisions you make. You decide not to use your car as a weapon of destruction but rather as a way to get places and be a productive human. You decide to use less plastic in your daily life to prevent cancer and fatty liver. You stop poisoning people when go places. Because you can’t destroy another without destroying yourself on an epigenetic level. Your DNA knows what your doing no matter how much you rationalize it. You will be held responsible for your covert war crimes when you die. But the good news is you have a lot of time to make up for what you have done. God believes in balance he knows humans are fallible. Are you ready to be a good human and gave better? Because you have to earn better. No one is going to hand you better. They will offer to hand you destruction and privilege but that’s just a way to get you to perpetuate the destruction and pain we all feel and experience. You are the one who gets to decide if we get a brighter and better world. You are the deciding factor. Do you believe yourself to be worthy of better? Do you believe your children to be worthy of better? Do you believe the generations to come deserve better? You get to decide right here and right now. You get to decide. You are all powerful in this moment and for forever to come. What are you going to choose for us all?

it’s your choice.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

news Update

Cliff Notes News Update By Nicole Graves Kudearoff- www.YouDeserveToHeal.com

Internet Blog Disclaimer: I am writing a novel and this is a way for me to practice method acting at it’s finest. This is just a covert world that I am partaking in to spark my creative juices. Please do not take anything on this domain/blog personally or seriously. This is just a creative story I am writing based loosely on the events of my life. Thank you for checking out my role playing game/world.

Hello there! I am Nicole Graves Kudearoff. You all know of the covert war games, but I have never gotten to talk to you all about them. I was literally genetically modified and bred to be great evil. However, I have Asperger’s genius and I rejected the dark side. It is a long complex story. However, I survived and escaped a death camp in Southern Arizona to bring you all some information that is very important:

1.My birthrights trump everyone’s. I am second on the Graves side of the family, second on the Kudearoff side of the family, and both my parents are #2s. And my Dads older sister does not have children and has never been married and I am the oldest in my immediate family so I inherit the Bennet and Graves birthrighs from her(mr & mrs Hitler, mr & mrs graves, Laverne Lippe(originally Bennit) and D. Amanda Graves). Thats 6 from my Dads side. Plus, I inherit my Mom and Dads birthrights. By birthright I am more powerful than both my Dad and Brother or anyone in the Kudearoff family, even my Aunt Lana. She only has my grandma Kudearoff’s birthright. Grandpa Kudearoffs went to my uncle Nick that’s why she killed him.

2. Learned helplessness is a systemic Candida & C Diff bacteria infection. You are powerful, you just have an infection. And you probably inherited it from your Mom, so you have never known how powerful you truly are.

3. There is a covert genocide of Hispanic, Black, Italian, and Asian people, but it is done using food so it effects us all.

4. The systems are set up to hijack your humanity by changing the way you process Oxytocin. This inhibits your ability to feel love and enables you to commit crimes against humanity more willingly

5. There is a worldwide epigenetic trigger of Autism, Dyslexia, other learning disabilities, and all chronic illness. This is done with many factors, but the main two are omega 3 to omega 6 ratios and antibiotics. Autism is caused by the antibiotic resistant bacteria called C Diff. This is also what causes addiction.

6. Due to all the negative epigenetic triggers we are experiencing our children are born with gene mutations. So every generation is a lesser than version of human. If you have kids you are helping my family create their very own slave race. This is why they hand out privilege for having children.

7. The systems are set up to make us all fail. No amount of privilege will save you from the destruction of the systems. Even the people who created the system of destruction cannot escape from the destruction of the systems they created. My Dad is dying from colon cancer.

8. I escaped a death camp in southern Arizona and started this revolution in March 2021, you need to join. I have presented this news update to people from the Mexico border all the way up to Bellingham, Washington.

9. I need your help spreading awareness, especially to the younger generations 90’s kids and younger. These are the people who are impacted the most by the epigenetic triggers and gene mutations.

10. Your gut bacteria is warred on by all the systems creating brain damage and damage to your Amygdala which causes you to be in a constant state of unconscious fear. This is to keep you small.

11. I am looking for investors in this revolution and new world, both overt and covert alliances
I have the words for the destruction, the knowledge on how to heal and the power to change everything. Plus, I have built a revolutionary army that surpasses all divisions of people who believe in potential. It’s literally an army of the best and the brightest. With financial backing and support we unstoppable.

12. The Kudearoffs are currently without power. My Moms generation outlived their power. They killed my Grandma Kudearoff when she was almost 58. My Mom turns 66 this summer. My generation does not walk into their power till after my Moms generation dies. So they are without power in this moment.

13. Stay tuned for more information updates I need to be able to communicate with you all so I can help you overcome the destruction of the systems.

14. Please help me connect with the Scandinavian fancy families in Washington & Canada. I would like to get engaged to a Scandinavian to create unity before the election.

15. Water is the greatest tool of destruction, disease, and brainwashing. Not only does water have poisons and the wrong ph and spike your insulin, but the chlorine and antibiotics in it allow for our bodies to be drained of zinc and magnesium. These are the cofactors needed to produce enzymes in our bodies. Without enzymes we are unable to absorb nutrients from our food. This is why we are a world of overweight people who are starving/malnourished. Also, when people are malnourished they are more susceptible to suggestion and brain washing. And malnourished people enjoy the pain of others because their brains are not getting what they need to function correctly. So with every shower you take your humanity is going down the drain.

P.S. If one of you all can help me become a National news update so I can reach all the people I would super appreciate it. Or if you can get me back into all the grocery store news updates I would appreciate that. Anyway you can help me reach more people I appreciate it.

Love Always
Nicole D. Graves

Recap Of Destruction By The Covert War Games

This year has been overwhelming with all the things I have learned, not only about the systems, but about the world. I am sure you all can relate. Let’s go ahead and recap all the things the systems are doing to destroy and disillusion us all.

1. Epigenetic triggers of Autism, Dyslexia, other learning disabilities, Diabetes, and all chronic illnesses

2. Covert genocide of all races, but especially Hispanic, Italian, Asian, and Black

3. Dysfunctional processing of Oxytocin by the way our society is set up-this steals our humanity and allows for crimes against humanity more willingly

4. All the systems are set up to make us all fail-even if we profit from one system we still are set up to fail by all the others

5. Romantic love and marriage are sold to us as distractions, but what we are sold is not attainable

6. Health is sold to us in an unattainable version

7. Carb filled diets are sold to us as a way to keep us manageable, small, and create disease-thus getting us to buy into the other systems more willingly

8. Marriage is a lie, because we value destruction rather than love and women are not viewed as equals

9. We are kept in a stressed state to keep us in our reptilian brain-this keeps us small and limits our emotional spectrum

10. Food, Drinks, and Sex are used as distractions and addictions to keep us in our reptilian brains and keep us small and manageable

11. Potential is not an option, it is an unattainable uphill battle used as a distraction

12. Houses are created to distract us for a lifetime and create disease

13. Medical industry is created to enslave us not heal us, but gets us to buy into learned helplessness

14. Candida overgrowth is created in our bodies by society, Standard American diet, antibiotics, modern medicine, and public schools to make us accept learned helplessness on a biological level.

15. Leaky gut is created to keep us malnourished, thus keeping us small, manageable, and diseased

16.. We are conditioned to accept manageable life situations and relationships to keep us small, manageable, and diseased

17. Fear tactics are used against us to keep us small, manageable, and diseased

18. Misinformation and withholding of information is used to keep us small, manageable, and diseased

19. People with Cluster B Personality Disorders run the systems/world and convince the masses an intact emotional spectrum is weak and dysfunctional

20. We all live in a Truman Show just to varying degrees, depending on how much we are taking part in the destruction of everything and everyone

21. Our bodies are biologically used as weapons against us by the systems

22. You are made not to feel at home in your body so you constantly seek comfort outside yourself, thus supporting the systems that aim to destroy you

23.The Stock Market and alternative currencies are used as a tool and mirage to aid in the game of financial domination the systems play with us all

24.We are sold conformity as the only way to gain control over our lives, but we are expected to conform to people who are mentally ill(cluster b personality disorders)

25. Not only are our diets used to destroy us, the foods themselves have been genetically modified and created in labs to destroy us painfully by creating disease

26. The environment we all live in creates fatty liver and estrogen dominance to make us more manageable, small, and diseased. Plus, addicted.

27. Viruses and world events are created to make us live in a fear state and buy into learned helplessness and thinking that the systems are the ones that can save us

28. Reproduction and Pregnancy are used to keep women small, manageable, diseased, and invested in learned helplessness and accepting of their place as second class citizens

29. The epigenetic trigger of Dylexia steals your quantum field-taking away your ability to access and create limitless potential

30. Marketing, television, advertising, social gatherings, sports, etc are used to keep us seeking social norms and to keep us distracted, small, manageable, and diseased

31. Our traditions and values are used as weapons against us to keep us small, manageable, and diseased

32. Insulin resistance is created by numerous systems and leads to malnutrition-thus keeping us small, manageable, and diseased

33. We are sold the idea that destroying others is the only way to save ourselves, but when we destroy others we are destroying ourselves, because the systems of destruction do not allow for anyone to escape the destruction

34. Emotional addiction is used to keep us all controlled, small, manageable, and diseased

35. When we access our quantum field as a collective we have more power than the systems ever will-this is why group meditation changes the world

36. Any comfort offered to us is a means to destroy us and keep us small, manageable, and diseased

37. We live in fear of having our comforts and privilege taken away. We spend our whole lives living in this fear because it is never escapable. The systems do not want you to experience real comfort and security

38. Your gut bacteria and microbiome are used against you as a weapon to control your body, mind, and spirit. This is why hand sanitizer exists and antibacterial soap

39. Our epigenetics are negatively impacted so our children are born with gene mutations that cannot be reversed

40. The worldwide systems are made up of different groups of people who wish to enslave their own people because their privilege would not exist without others being enslaved more than themselves

41. Since the 1990’s the Dyslexic epigenetic trigger has been impacting almost everyone born and yet the systems are not set up to value what they have to offer(creative brain based)

42The worldwide systems are just more covert in some places and more overt in others

43. Everyone is trauma bonded to the systems that have destroyed them-this is why people who have experienced the most pain still sign up to fight this war when called upon

44. We are all sold the idea that having humanity is weak, rather than the true strength it is

45. Shame is used to keep us all small and believing there is something wrong with us, that we are defective

46. Absolutely No One is immune to the destruction of the systems-even the leaders die from terminal illnesses-there is no buying your way out

47. Estrogen dominance is used as a weapon against us all because it allows cancer to grow quicker and allows for our brains to reinforce addictive behaviors more

48. Fasting kills cancer, but doctors cannot recommend it as treatment because they are under orders to practice medicine rather than healing

49. Shame causes OCD and Perfectionism keeping us stuck in our heads and distracted, small, manageable, and diseased

50 Our potentials have been stolen from us all, but we accept that we are the reason we do not succeed to the level that we are destined to

51. We are not taught how to accept things because then we would find a solution. We are taught learned helplessness to keep us paralyzed and victims

52. We have the power to overcome this covert war because who we are is dictated by the small everyday things we do.

53. We each are special individuals who are born for greatness, the war games and conformity steals this from us

54. Public schools are used to force us to conform and break us as children to prepare us for a lifetime of destruction by the systems

55.. Religion is used as a weapon. God and love are used against us all.

56. Munchausen by proxy is accepted as “normal” even though to destroy another we destroy ourselves first

57. Life is supposed to be easy and put us at ease. Yet, we allow the sysetms to complicate every aspect of our lives

58. There is a time and a place for vicious. Instead of being vicious with the systems that destroy and enslave us all, we are being vicious with each other

59. High carb diets are used to spike our insulin and blood glucose levels so we are addicted to our feelings keeping us more manageable. This allows for malnutrition which makes us more susceptible to brain washing and suggestion making us more manageable.

Okay that pretty much sums it up. There are a ton more details, but you all get the idea. We are being destroyed and we are allowing it.

Love Always
Nicole Graves

The Fear Anxiety Depression and Your Soul Calling

You know that fear you feel right now especially but almost all the time? That’s not you. That is there by design. See your gut bacteria is warred on by all the systems. This means your gut does not produce vitamin K2 as it should. This means calcium is not deposited into your bones and teeth as it should be. Instead it floats around in your bloodstream causing anxiety and damages your brain and amygdala. This is what is causing the fear you feel all the time. It is a subconscious fear, so before your logical mind has a chance to tell you you are safe you feel fear. You feel this fear all the time. It’s a paralyzing fear. This fear motivates you to stay small and not to rock the boat. It’s a tool to control you.

You know the anxiety and depression you feel in waves all the time? It comes and goes through the days and it seems unpredictable, but it always shows back up? Well that is caused by your blood glucose levels and insulin levels. Humans aren’t meant to eat a diet so high in carbs, sugars, and grains. Processed foods are a weapon of destruction in countless ways. But our Standard American Diet conditions us to eat all the wrong things.If you want to eat well it is an uphill battle by design. When you eat well you feel well. People who feel well are harder to control.

See when your insulin levels are all over the place. It makes it ai your cells don’t absorb as much nutrition from your food as they are supposed to. This is why most Americans are experiencing malnutrition but are overweight. And you know what happens when you are experiencing malnutrition? You are more susceptible to brain washing and suggestion because your brain is not working properly. So this sets you up for disease and to stay in line as well.

You know that feeling you have now from your heart and soul that is calling out for freedom. That is you. You probably rarely ever honor that voice, but that is you. In the madness of your body it is hard to know what is you and what is there by design. You are the voice calling out for freedom.

Are you going to honor yourself or are you going to fall in line with the voices there by design to keep you small?

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

What I need your help with:

1. I need to get my overt world together in order to breed so my birthrights dont go back to the Kudearoffs when I die. I’m 41 so if you all want my help you need to help me and we gotta be quick about it. Currently I am back to looking for a job. My family is setting me up to fail and breaking as many covert war rules as possible. During this revolution, I have earned my Oregon insurance license. Please allow me to use it. Or at least help me get a sales job where I can save myself in the overt world so we have a chance to overcome the covert war. I Cannot have children if I cannot provide financially for them. My kids will be expensive because so many people will want them dead. I will need to be able to protect them in all ways! Let alone, I need to be able to protect myself.

2. Spread my news like your life depends on it, because it does. All the fancy families & especially the farmers need to know I’m alive and that the Kudearoffs have falsely extended their power by breaking the rules. Have everyone call their people out of this war against me.

3. Find me a Scandinavian man from a fancy family who represents Washington as much as I represent Texas to get engaged to. The two of us will be able to create unity among the Nazis and white people. We need to do this before the November election.

4. Get me into as many communication hubs as possible. If you are from out of town take me home with you. I write a blog www.YouDeserveToHeal.com where I transcribe my important talks. So take me home with you and get everyone to tune in. The world needs to know what’s happening.

5. This is a long shot and my Christmas wish. I would love a home that is not designed to kill me. I’ve never slept in a bed without poison. After I get a job, how do I buy myself a home that isn’t a weapon of destruction?

6. I need your help creating a safe place for me and my dogs in Eugene… I need the people there to know I deserve and have earned my place of safety. Let them know there will be consequences for treason.

7. A note to the farmers, I’m unsure of how you all fit into the power dynamics of the war games. But when I was little my parents brainwashed me to believe I was going to marry a farmer and have 10 kids. You all have some kind of special trump card. Please use it to protect me and allow me to have a good job, maybe even a career. If you all watch out for me, I promise to always watch out for you all.

8. I need a friend in the overt world who doesn’t destroy me and use love as a weapon. I’ve been alone my whole life and I need someone to talk to about my overt world and hopes and dreams.

9. I am asking All the farmers to get together and create a book of business of insurance to recruit me to work. I scored in the top 5% on the state farm exam. The farmers created and control the insurance industry, and I have my Oregon insurance license. This is where we need to come together in the overt world. I deserve to have a career I love and excell at. And you all deserve to have access to me in the overt world.

Thank you, I appreciate any overt or covert help you can give me no matter how big or small.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves , ,,