When making new friends and reconnecting with old friends after narcissistic abuse, it is imperative to figure out who is toxic and who is healthy. Healthy people will aide in your healing journey, while toxic people will add to the struggles of recovery. Recovering from narcissistic abuse is a lifelong journey. When you think you have arrived, you are faced with a new obstacle in life that leads you right back to recovery. You are worth the life of your dreams and every time you compromise it is rooted in your belief that you do not deserve your dreams.
Recently, I have been working on meeting new people and reconnecting with some of my old friends. After going within, working on myself, and my root wound, it is time to get back out into the world. However, going back out into the world is not without speed bumps.
Here are 9 signs, I have encountered, that shed light on a person’s toxicity:
- They enjoy hearing about your problems and things you are struggling with because they enjoy your pain more than they can share in your successes.
- They use your given name more often than necessary.
- They over share their issues and struggles, but rarely share successes or things they are happy about(besides material possessions).
- They talk a big self-care game, but rarely participate in it or follow through.
- They know a lot of people and enjoy talking/gossiping about them.
- They often talk about their traumas, but rarely share how they addressed and/or dealt with these issues to heal.
- They treat you as a toy/possession rather than a freethinking individual.
- They study you rather than get to know you or catch up with you.
- They bring up past experiences you shared that involve your vulnerability(if you knew them before).
When you know and realize the signs and feelings that go along with toxic people, it is easier to weed them out of your life. Be a ruthless gardener and protect the garden of your life like the true gift it is.
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Check out: The Narcissist’s Flying Monkeys