We had a family meeting yesterday at my Mom’s house. This was to make me feel like the problem and the outsider. The problem has always been me when it comes to my Mom and Brother. I may never understand the covert war out in the world, but I do understand my family dynamics. My Brother had an outburst in the meeting because he thinks I should just give up and let him kill me. He tried to scare me with the information that Aunt L’s grandson was coming over today to help him with the roof. Then it all fell into place. My Aunt L is in charge of the family since my Mom failed with me. My Brother has always loved Aunt L just more than our Mom, but I never understood till now. It is because she has more to offer him, than my Mom.
Aunt N is not in charge. I need to remember if the 2nd doesn’t work out the 1st is acceptable. And it probably goes the opposite as well. Who ever made these rules had good intentions to try to keep the checks and balances in place, but all they really did was create a motive for murder.
This is why they got upset when I mentioned suicide. My Mom and Uncle J have been pretty tortured since their parents died. When my grandma Kudearoff died, my Aunt L got to take over. And when my parents seperated and were getting divorced my Dad went to live with Aunt L and Uncle J. This is why my Mom told me the other day that her and my brother have survived this house I should be able to do it too.
It’s my Godmother who wants to kills me.
Nicole D Graves
P.S. Aunt L does not like the owner where I work. She made fun of him for being gittery. What is the story line there?