My family cult torturing me is normal, but you know what is really scary? The fact that children are still experiencing some of the things I have endured. Children have been taken out of my Truman Show for months now because their energy tells tales. Last week, I owed the dogs a walk so I took them walking in the morning before work. Thurston Middle school was just starting and I got to see the children and some of them training for the war games.
One girl passed me walking down Thurston Road. She had an intact emotional spectrum and could understand my point of view. Most adults cannot understand my views because they are clouded by greed, power, control, destruction, domination, jealousy, and so many other negative factors. I do not view these factors as valid reasons to partake in the war games. I have everything to gain from being motivated by negative factors and yet it is not something I can do. Even this week I told one of my co-workers that I need to sleep at night so I cannot push myself to be too pushy of a salesperson with people who have been dealt a difficult hand of cards. I can relate to these people, these are my people. I cannot take advantage of them. If I did I would be validating all the people who have taken advantage of me.
This is what you all are doing. You have been hurt, you have been kept small, and the only way you can feel better about yourself and your life is to hurt others. This is wrong and maladaptive. The only real way to feel good about yourself is to improve yourself and your life with daily actions. Hurting others is illogical. If others are hurting that is not going to alleviate your pain. Misery loves company, but I don’t want that kind of company. Do you?
When you enjoy my pain and/or making my life more difficult, it means you have pain that has not been addressed and resolved. Emotional work is hard and I understand why you all do not want to do it, but it really is the high road. The high road is rarely the road more traveled, but I guarantee the scenery makes up for it 100 times.
I may not be able to convince you all to take the high road, but I can show you how it is done. Grace has the power to make the world a better place. We all can think of at least one situation where someone else having grace would have changed everything. Be the change you want to see.
P.S. Pay attention to your right cheek on your face. When your lymphatic system is backing up it will feel tight and tingly, your right eye may even twitch. This will literally help you identify who is toxic around you. These are the people who will hurt you when they are hurt. Awareness is the first step in any kind of healing.