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Guest Post-Tales From Dee

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The earliest memories I have of my narc mother involves abuse, as far back as I could remember all my memories that I think back on all rotate around abuse it’s either physical, mental, and even spiritual abuse. Little info on me I’m in my mid 20s,married and I’m a first time mother(yay me). Life is life everything is going smoother all thanks to the Most High, reading other people’s stories has cracked open a spectrum of emotional angst that must be released. Released to someone who hasn’t escaped, but they are methodically looking for a simple way out. But the biggest emotion I feel right now as a survivor is closure, closure from what’s been done to me, closure from the burden that was placed on me from a early age. To understand the thesis behind why I view my experiences as a burden let me take you back in time to 2000( I was six then). My NM had just got out of prison for being what she called a “drug queen pin”, so while skimming through articles, YouTube videos, and others blogs we all know that Narcs LOVE GRANDIOSITY even if the position the put themselves in is a devious one. They thrive to want to look superior, its how they live how they get their supply, how the Narc builds their image. Okay (I tend to drift off sometimes sorry) back to 2000 I had just moved in with my mother (she was in prison from the time I was a baby till six I had spent my former years with my father) When my mother got out of prison she went on a quest to retrieve all of her daughters to make sure she raised them all, she had a new man by this time. I remember being in my room, and hearing my narc mother in a rage she was going on, and on about how someone drunk out of her new beaus(enabler) strawberry slushie from sonic (route 44 happy hour special). She then called all of us into the kitchen, and made up line up with extension cord in hand she looked at us so enraged while saying out loud “Who drank his slushie, y’all better tell me now, or all y’all getting a whipping”. I didn’t drink it, hell at six I didn’t even know what a slushie was but in my kid mind I figured that she was just using a tactic for the truth to come out. (Like really who gets that mad over a strawberry slushie) both my sisters stood there both claiming that they didn’t drink it, and my Narc mom didn’t let up she was persistent in her quest of putting down her brute punishment. It was like in each breath she got more, and more of a rush to exert her authority over us. Like a hangman’s with a fresh rope in her hang waiting for the criminal to be led to the gallows, finally after so many minutes of standing there hearing the bickering, hearing the dysfunction(about a slushie that I didn’t drink, or know where it came from). I finally said I did it, just to save all of us to free us from this matriarch of a woman with a fire in her eyes, it turned out to be a stupid mistake on my part because my mother beat me with every inch of my six year old life. I remember her going around me in a circle and taking that cord(like the one in the picture) and beating me with it I remember curling up into a ball so my little face wouldn’t get scarred; I remember crying so hard from the pain I felt how hurt I felt that this woman who was my mother had just drug me on the kitchen floor and beat me over a damn strawberry slushie. When she was done I touched my arms, and I had welts all over them all over my body, me being six I couldn’t imagine why this was going on, but little did I know it would only get worst.A broken feeling then started to take route in my spirit that day because this is the moment that my narc mother started to break me like a glass plate shatters on a hard wooden floor, so did I on that day in 2000,when she beat me for the first of many times. Down a rabbit hole of sheer abuse, terror, and anguish at the hands of a alcoholic mother who over the years I was gonna see her mask eventually slip off. And the toxic scars of abuse that she would not only leave on me but also my three siblings. That brings to mind a quote that I ran across…….

My contact info:

danyahdee7@gmail.com

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Parasite Cleansing After Narcissistic Abuse

Being around toxic people is maddening, because their logic just does not add up. Cluster b personality disordered individuals demand you share in their illogical ideas about life. They will even go as far as gaslighting your reality to make their own reality seem like the gospel. There is nothing worse than a human who refuses to see their own humanity.

My own healing journey from narcissistic abuse was a holistic experience. Healing my body, mind, and spirit was a priority because narcissistic abuse erodes health in so many different ways. Have you ever met a narcissist with good digestion and health? I know my own digestion was not where it needed to be in order to cultivate good health and mental clarity. With dopamine and serotonin being created in the gut, this is where I started with parasite cleansing.

Parasite cleansing lead to more mental clarity and I could feel my thought process changing for the better. My brain was responding to life in a different way, a familiar better way. When I watched the sunset, I started to feel the calmness of the beauty washing over me. I was actually able to feel the beauty of the world again.

“The Toxoplasma gondii parasite has been linked to several mental disorders…those with the most severe infections were three times more likely to have developed generalized anxiety disorder.”

Toxoplasma gondii is shockingly common. About one third of the population has contracted this parasite, but only recently have there been extensive studies that prove the correlation between parasites and mental disorders. In 2012, there was research that linked T. gondii and schizophrenia. Now mental health professionals are starting to realize, “…mental health issues can result from physical ailments.”

“…the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry found that people with rage disorder are twice as likely to have a parasitic infection…”

If clarity can be found through parasite cleansing, what do we really have to loose?(pun intended) When you feel better, you can think better. After almost two years of parasite cleansing, I am still continuing to try different methods. It has been a lot of work and uncomfortable at times, but it has all been a worth while experience. Mental clarity is priceless.

My favorite detox tool has been diatomaceous earth food grade. Take a spoonful mixed in water daily and the magic begins. And while you are at it feed some to your pets too, because they are apart of your microbiome.

Sources:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/toxoplasmosis-mental-health_n_56f0642ae4b09bf44a9e2bb3

https://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/schizophrenia-and-psychoses/targeting-common-parasite-could-help-treat-certain-mental-disorders/article/403368/

https://www.psypost.org/2015/04/toxoplasma-gondii-parasite-linked-to-generalized-anxiety-disorder-33291Sign up for my newsletter here

Things I Wish People Understood About Growing Up With A Narcissistic Mother

Growing up with a narcissistic Mother is a defining experience. It influences decision-making throughout a lifetime, whether consciously or unconsciously. Explaining the impact of growing up with this family dynamic to someone who experienced love as a child is beyond complicated. These are a few things that I wish people understood.

Trust used to come naturally to me. However, once in recovery I had to begin questioning everything. No longer can I afford to take people at face value. Please do not take this personally. I question everything, because the things that were supposed to be a given in life were not what they seemed to be.

The person you saw and experienced was not who she really was. Just because you did not see the abuse, does not mean it did not happen. I was born to supply her with narcissistic supply. When the world did not treat her in the way she desired, she took that narcissistic supply from me in whatever way she deemed necessary.

Getting to the point of realizing and admitting to the experience of narcissistic abuse was a journey that made me question every part of myself. Please do not discount this journey. No one wants to admit their own Mother did not love them.

Loving someone without empathy or a conscious was a soul eroding experience. Choosing to hold onto my heart and empathy was the most painful choice I have ever made. My emotional spectrum is a conscious choice I paid greatly for.

I have been guilted into giving my original abuser the benefit of the doubt by society for a lifetime. The world does not like to believe women can have narcissistic and sociopathic traits, especially towards their own children. Not all women who have children are Mothers.

The experience of having a narcissistic Mother creates some of the strongest individuals in this world. We have experienced the evil of the world and rejected it by consciously choosing not to join them. One day I hope the world will understand this experience better. However, until then please honor the experience and feelings of those of us who grew up without love, but found the strength to stand up for what we truly deserve.

12 Tips For Protection Against Psychic Attacks After Narcissistic Abuse

Psychic attacks are prevalent with cluster b personality disorders. These people are not in control of their emotions and/or their thoughts. Thus, their need/desire to control others. Circular thoughts are merely energy being spit out into the universe over and over again. Most people are not in tune with the collective consciousness, but after enduring narcissistic abuse one is very familiar with being in touch with the energies around them. We are conditioned to atune to the needs and desires of others, aka energies. When going no contact with a cluster b personality disordered person psychic attacks can range from annoying to crippling, especially when more than one disordered person is involved.

Here is a short list of tips for protection that have worked for me. Do as many as it takes to get back into your energies, but one or two is normally sufficient.

  • Grounding/Earthing
  • Smudging with sage or palo santo
  • Improve your core muscles
  • Salt bath
  • Drink water/hydrate
  • Exercise
  • Meditation-become present in your body
  • Eat root vegetables
  • Sauna
  • B vitamins-niacin and B12 shots
  • Crystals
  • Detox/Cleanse your body-the more habitable your body the fewer psychic attacks will be felt/bothersome

This was something that I had a hard time explaining when it first started happening. However, after I found the words/term and was able to wrap my mind around the situation it was an easy fix. I wish you much peace in your journey to recovery.

Reclaiming Your Physical Health After Narcissistic Abuse

Reclaiming your physical health is a large part of recovering from narcissistic abuse. After being with a narcissist, and being raised by them, we need to take care of our health dynamically like never before. We were taught from an early age to respond to other people’s needs and wants rather than listen to the needs of our own body. The physical body is a vehicle which can lead you towards achieving mental health and clarity.

Here is a short list of things that can aid in reclaiming your physical health while in recovery:

  • Stress response can lead to autoimmune issues-cortisol management
  • Microbiome-everything from what you eat, to your children, to your dogs, to your kitchen sink, etc
  • Environmental toxins
  • Bad habits/addictions
  • Diet
  • Vitamins/Supplements
  • Exercise
  • Parasite cleanse
  • Heavy metal detox
  • Emotional detox
  • Adrenal reset
  • Liver support

Recovering and reclaiming your physical health is not limited to just these things, but these are some ideas on where to start.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery-Leave Your Humanity At Home

When recovering from narcissistic abuse it is time to redefine boundaries. Boundaries are what keep you safe in the future and lack of boundaries is what got you into this mess. In all fairness, you were probably never taught to have boundaries, because you were raised by a narcissist. So, the first step is realizing it is healthy to have solid boundaries.

As I have mentioned before, if you find yourself in a romantic relationship that results in narcissistic abuse it is a pretty safe bet one of your parents was narcissistic. Narcissists do not raise their children to have boundaries. They have children to secure constant narcissistic supply.

Mourn the loss of getting to be your emotional self in everyday life and move forward. Even though cluster b personality disordered people seek out to kill the emotional spectrum of others, they hate when you can turn off/tone down your emotions. They are addicted to the few emotions they have and seek to kill parts of others they cannot obtain in themselves.

“When dealing with insincere people, abandon sincere communication.”

Leave your humanity at home. Controlling who you share your emotional spectrum with is your right as a human being. Guard your humanity as the rare gift it is and keep it safe. Humanity is the only thing that can save our society as a whole, but there needs to be strategy before bringing it out publicly.

I am not saying to be heartless. As an intuitive empath with a large emotional spectrum myself, I believe in kindness. However, I do not believe in letting others feed off my emotions and declaring me their new source of supply. Cluster b personality disordered people do not have a connection to source energy. And people who have no connection to source energy are always one breath away from energetically drowning. Are you going to let them push you underwater?

Please leave a comment below if you can relate.

Check Out:

How Narcissists Use Energetic Cords

Self-Care After Narcissistic Abuse

Learning how to take care of yourself and listen to your body is the first step in recovering from narcissistic abuse. After a lifetime of putting other people’s needs before your own, it is difficult to even know what your body needs and/or wants. And loving yourself seems like an out-of-body experience. Self-care is the journey to self-love.

After narcissistic abuse we all want to live our best lives and make up for the time we have lost. This means practical application of self-care to develop self-love in a healthy manner. Self-love is the foundation to a healthy and satisfying life. This seems so simple in theory, but let’s examine the root cause of this “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” as Ross Rosenburg puts it.

Self-Love Deficit Disorder is the outcome of being raised by toxic people who do not know how to honor themselves. Conditional love is the language these people speak. Thus, motivated by our fear of not being loved, we learned very early to live by other people’s feelings rather than our own. Until we overcome this Self-Love Deficit Disorder we will continue to attract people who do not honor themselves or us.

When I first read about Ross Rosenburg’s Self-Love Deficit Disorder and The Human Magnet Syndrome, I was shocked to the core. It made so much sense. Logically, I could see how these theories had played out in my life. However, I did not know where to go from here. How was I supposed to practice self-love if I had never experienced someone who actually loved themselves?

Radical self-care is the solution to Self-Love Deficit Disorder. Learning how to care for your body, mind, and spirit are the building blocks to developing self-love. Once again this sounds entirely too simple, but it works. As codependent empaths, we were raised to cater to the needs and feelings of others. Now is the time to cater to our own needs and feelings in order to heal.

How do you practically apply this information in your everyday life? Create baby steps that add up and naturally snowball. For example, start taking your physical health seriously. I enjoy this approach, because feeling better physically leads to better mental health. Some baby steps would be to start taking vitamins/supplements, do a parasite cleanse, take long relaxing salt baths, eat healthier foods, go for walks, go to the gym, sit in a sauna, get a massage, and/or start meditating. Pick a few self-care practices and do them on a regular basis. When you start to feel the payoff, you will want to add more self-care into your life and the snowball begins. Honor your body, mind, and spirit and only allow others into your life who do the same. This is how self-love is created.

Recovery tools:

Source:

http://humanmagnetsyndrome.com/hmsblog/the-codependensorder-pyramidh

Speaking Your Truth After Narcissistic Abuse

Speaking your truth after narcissistic abuse is a necessary step to achieving recovery. Expressing yourself helps to resolve some of the toxic emotions and traumas. Look at your original abuser, this is who you will become if you do not speak your truth. Denying a large part of who you are and how you feel is at the root of narcissism. Do you want to be one of them?

People who have not experienced narcissistic abuse may not understand how deep the river of scars go, but anyone who asks you to stop speaking your truth is toxic to your recovery. Speaking your truth helps the realities of what has occurred to completely sink in and make room for the realizations of what needs to change. This is changing your programming.

Do you have thoughts and questions that swirl around in your mind over and over again, because you just cannot quite grasp what to do with all this information? Good! This is your brain making sense of all the trauma and brain washing. In most cases, the toxic tactics are deep rooted in childhood experiences and are then taken advantage of by another toxic person in your adulthood.

“Analysis and education about the abuser are essential to understanding what happened, but once that is done, your attention is most needed inwardly.” -Jackson MacKenzie

How are you going to allow these realizations to make you a better person? I know this sounds crazy at first, but really think about it. All the adversities we experience in life are what make us who we are. How we overcome these difficult situations in life are how we build character. Do not let the abuse define you, but let the things you learn in recovery make you a better and brighter human.

Humanity is all we have and humanity is a beautiful thing.

Recovery tools:

Source:

https://www.psychopathfree.com/articles/how-can-i-stop-thinking-about-the-sociopath-narcissist.355/

Integration After Narcissistic Abuse

Studying and learning about narcissistic abuse is the easy part of recovery. Integration is what separates the survivors from the thrivers. Intellectualizing what you experienced is something that even cluster b personality disordered individuals can do. Without integration and practical application of what you have learned there is still a disconnect where people perpetuate narcissistic abuse.

This disconnect is deadly. It is almost better to be around a toxic person who is unaware of what they experienced, because then you know there is still hope if one day they choose to educate themselves and get honest. When someone understands logically the abuse they have encountered, but remains detached enough to not apply what they learned to correct the issues; they themselves become a predator. The worst kind of predator is one who knows what they are doing, but plays dumb when confronted with the reality of their actions. This is not wisdom, this is cruelty.

Some people get stuck in the helplessness for moments in time and that is completely understandable. However, when this moment becomes a way of life that is when we need to identify the person as toxic. They have chosen to stay stuck in a toxic cycle and playing helpless is a manipulation tactic in itself.

Recovery is a lifestyle. A lifestyle of correcting your programming and knowing it is a life long process. When you know there will always be little things that come up and need to be addressed and changed, you are recovering. When you have intellectualized the abuse and do not implement change on a daily basis you are merely living in the past and acting out it out in the present.

Choosing to not be a victim and being empowered is the only way to get the life of your dreams. No one will hand you happiness on a platter, you must work for it. Mental clarity and health are a personal job we all have to address with integration of knowledge. Merely reading books and watching recovery videos is not enough. One must live the recovered life to fully recover. This does not mean perfection, but it does means progress on a daily basis.

Some of my favorite recovery tools

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery-A Spiritual Revolution


Narcissist do not just abuse people, they wage an energetic war on our body, mind, spirit, and life force. Recently, I have been messaged by many people who feel severing contact from all toxic people in their life is extreme and unnecessary. This is understandable, because it is a drastic measure and often includes cutting most people out of your life.

The fear of being alone is at the root of thinking no contact with all toxic people is extreme. Why in the world do you not deserve to have all healthy respectful people in your life? Is it because it would be a completely new paradigm? People who experience narcissistic abuse have experienced energetic warfare since before they can remember(and before their birth). When we are born to toxic people, who groom us to be in narcissistic abusive relationships as adults, we do not know what it is like to have a healthy energy body(Read How Narcissists Use Energetic Cords-Spiritual Warfare here).

Eckhart Tolle speaks often of how humans live out of their pain body. Well, healing your energetic body goes hand in hand with healing your pain body and becoming present in the moment. Most people have never experienced their own energy untainted by others. It takes months to remove all the energetic hooks and cords that have been inserted into our energetic body throughout our lifetime. Most people are completely unaware of the energy play that cluster b personalities use.

Without a connection to source energy, cluster b personality disorders are energetic vampires who are always in fear of energetically drowning. Thus, every time we interact with a toxic person our energetic body is injured. After a lifetime of having our life source energy stolen and siphoned, most people have no clue how powerful their own life force energy truly is.

When someone says they do not believe cutting all the toxic people out of their life is necessary for their recovery, they are basically saying they do not deserve all nontoxic interactions. We all deserve to be treated fairly and not be preyed upon. Are you ready to be finished with abusive people?

The Power Of Now-Eckhart Tolle