Dear Jessica Hatch

Cousin Jessie,

I realized last night you are not a good person. You signed up to kill me when you asked me to live with you. That is why your best friend Jessica M. moved out is because she did not want to take part in killing me. I was so sick when I lived with you and I blamed myself. Living with you got me to embrace not eating. And you would fix me food and act loving knowing that if you killed me you would earn great privilege because I would not let anyone else in the family close.

Grandma Kudearoff always told me to be nice to you because you had less than me. I never imagined she was talking about birthrights because when she told me I was number two I told her I did not want to be #2 because that meant poop in my mind. Everyone always told me to be nice to you, maybe they did not tell you this about me. They did not destroy me greatly till after Grandma Kudearoff died.

I want to hate you, but I don’t because I know your real heart. I hate what you did to me though. I hate that you gave into destruction and destroying me. Why did you not have a baby sooner if you were so into the war games? Why did you not marry your Ryan? Seems like if you were playing to win you would have played smarter instead of choosing such a hard life. Instead you chose to destroy me for privilege, but you did let me go. When you asked me to leave because you got jealous that was the best thing you ever did for me. So yes you signed up to destroy me, but you also set me free.

I knew there was something wrong with you when you told me how you viewed sex. You live in your reptilian brain you know, but you do not have to. You need to take care of yourself better so you can take care of Matt better. That kid deserves more than you have given him. I always made excuses for you, but there are no excuses he deserves better than we had. I will never forget making him wear his brain bucket(aka helmet) when I watched him because he would do so many crazy things and jump all over. He has a really good soul and you should feel blessed. I hope you do not do what you did to me to him. Children are a blessing you know. I hope you learned something from trying to kill me and not just how to do it better on your next victim.

I will always love you.

Nicole Graves your cousin

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