It has taken me all day to recover from the dinner I ate with my Mom last night. It was amazing to have comfort food, but oh dear it made the puzzle in my mind really weird. Or rather the lead did. Plus, I tried to take some diatomaceous earth this morning(I had it in my Jeep) and it was really strong with lead. And laying in my old bed even for five minutes last night really stole my zen. Now, I understand why I was so anxious most of my life. And why I bought into being crazy for so long.
Less will always be more when you are apart of a family like mine(at least in it’s current state), but it took me a long time to figure this out. This has helped me find my zen and desire to fight for it. I wake up happy most mornings and I never thought this was possible as a child or young adult. Not until a year or two ago, after extreme manipulation of my microbiome did I realize just how much of life and happiness I had been missing out on. Gut bacteria is amazing and may be one of my mild special interests. There is a strain of bacteria for everything you can think of. Plus fermenting food/drink is just fun and tasty.
What is clear about my family cult? There are ethnic families like mine all over the nation. I know this because my best friend growing up was like me, but her Grandma was from Norway. Her Mom also married a Nazi who aided in trying to break me. My friend was dynamic like me, but just not as book smart(but her sister who was the second child was). My friend is the one who got me into dance in grade school and she could play music on the piano by ear. My brain does not work like that, but I sure was amazed by her ability.
Also, in these ethnic families like mine matriarchy is the rule of thumb, rather than the exception. We believe in love and practice it in our relationship dynamics. The energy dynamics changed in these families in the mid-1980’s. This is when patriarchy crept in and the decline began. This is also when everyone went from overt to covert.
These are the families like mine that have been enslaved.
P.S. Do any of you come from ethnic families like mine?