I Am Alive Because I Am A Social Norm

Growing up in a Russian Orthodox and Communist narcissistic family cult means that not conforming is a crime punishable by death. This was something they repeatedly told me and my cousins. They would take us out of this world and create another one just like us. So, how am I still alive?

I have escaped over and over. First, I was a pawn in my parents divorce. My Dad was smart enough to know my Mom would forever hold his sins against him and would brainwash me to her liking. At 18, I met a guy who was motivated by my Mom. He tried to get me hooked on drugs and pregnant. But in the end he is the only one who met the wrath of my Mom. He died a few years after we broke up and I would never have known unless my Mom had not told me. Souvenirs are sometimes the look of pain on people’s faces.

I have spoken up about the cult I grew up in and how toxic they are pretty much my whole life. This is why I am still alive. I am a social norm, before I am a loose end to my family. They know if I die, people will ask questions because people know what my family is capable of.

Speak your truth, it can save your life.

Xoxo

NiZi

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