Does love even exist in this society? I am starting to think that not only is romantic love a way to keep people distracted, but love in general is a lie when it comes to humans. My ability to love is a byproduct of Stockholm Syndrome. I have been held hostage and captive my whole life and every time I reacted to the abuse I was told I was evil and wrong. Which erodes someone’s sense of self.
This is why you all are missing a sense of self. You also have Stockholm Syndrome even though you have not experienced being a hostage like me. It only takes hours for the bonding necessary to create trauma bonds(aka Stockholm’s Syndrome).
I have experienced this bonding for a lifetime, literally 40 years. And if I take away the love feeling I have for my family and the people who have been close to me, there is nothing left but hate. This “love” feeling is the only thing that has kept my family alive. Well, and the obligation they sold me about owing them for being born. Little did I know they got to advance in the war games because of my birth. So in actuality they kind of owe me. Right? My existence and pain has empowered them in countless ways. This is why they did not kill me. They wanted to continue to use me to further their own well being.
If you were me, how would you seek your revenge? I was super happy to live in my own little world with my dogs and explore my potential swimming upstream in a million ways, but No that was me asking too much. Well, what would you do to the people who have demanded too much of you and used “love” to blackmail you into being the bigger person your whole life?
I would really love to know what you all think, think loud thoughts and I will tune in when I am walking my dogs and plotting.
P.S. Today while walking by the river I saw my family’s fear in you all. They still fear someone will get to me. It was the same fear but much louder as A1 used to feel at the airports. Btw, thank you A1 for helping me figure out the Stockholm Syndrome with your email where you mirrored me. I hope you are doing well too. And yes our kiddos are more love than I ever imagined was possible. Thank you for the greatest gifts of my life. They opened my world and made me more manageable, so we all won with them.