Mind Dump/Nicole News #1

I added up how much I pay annually for my websites and hosting and such. Wow! I am not utilizing this as much as I should be. But what is the point? I bought my first domain www.stripclubjournals.com just to share my story and thought process as a stripper and a human trying to make sense of it all. It was an interesting life and I got opportunities I never could have imagined. And now my life continues to be of interest for more reasons than I ever could have imagined. Who dreams or imagines stuff like this? Smh, it’s unreal, but would you read the book? šŸ˜‰

Most of you who are still alive inside look at me with such pity, it’s weird to be able to see people’s humanity. When you respond emotionally to me, I can see you. It’s weird, but I see people. And this week, I finally figured it all out. I can see energy and I see this darkness around people who are in on the war games and it has many different shades/levels. However, I have been searching for years to figure out where this darkness was located in the body and I learned so much about personality disorders and health and curing cancer, etc. I have looked everywhere trying to find this missing piece of the puzzle. So I could help people fix their darkness, because all emotion has physical origins.

This darkness is your gut bacteria infection. If you wanted to control the masses and make them manageable, wouldn’t it be smart to create an environment where they can self destruct when stressed? In my opinion, this is the key to being covertly revolutionary: Take care of yourself! I know I am just some crazy lady taking about your microbiome and gut bacteria all the time. I have survived the unthinkable please allow me to share with you what has kept me alive.

Your microbiome controls your brain and your emotions and your hormones and your body and your everything. Have you ever checked in with your gut bugs and seen how they are doing? I have moments when I forget, but then I remember to check back in and they are quite forgiving. As long as you take care of them, they will take care of you. And I don’t mean eating fiber in excess either.

I feel the best when I stick to a keto/carnivore diet and avoid all fiber. I stray here and there, but the longer I am on plan the more I can handle eating carbs once in awhile. It goes against everything I was for most of my life, as a recovering vegetarian of almost 20years. But you know what? You have to do what works! And honestly I never healed quicker than when I was on the run eating raw ground beef. It did something to my body. Plus, I got to experience clean unpoisoned meats in some places. It was kind of magical.

So, I am back to work and I am having to do licensing again. My brain hurts so bad, I am so tired of state tests after AZ real estate last year, but I got to keep going. Literally, there is no other option. There is great power in understanding and knowing your position. I know the job is within my wheelhouse completely! The phone is the only time I get to be just another human to people. Plus, I love making strangers my best friend because rarely do I experience a person twice without my family cult getting to them. So, I have to absorb what I think about a person in the first meeting most times. And I have to stick with that impression because when I question myself I doubt myself and that leads to self doubt and that is just a slippery slope. That’s a lot, huh? So yeah training sucks, but I am so excited to talk to people again. It’s been since January. I am so grateful to have a job that I can get excited about, but I am also human and I am a bit overwhelming and just trying not to question myself. Learning computer and policy things are so overwhelming because it is so much information that just needs to be committed to memory. And it is information that you will actually need to long term retain to use in daily practice when needed. Talk about a bit nerve wracking.

End of dump: squirrel!

Nicole Graves

P.S. Thank you to everyone for everything. Just being home is a good feeling in some really strange ways. But familiar is comforting to the nervous system, don’t give more credit to what you have always done/experienced just because you do not have something to measure it against. šŸ™‚ xo

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