Monday August 15th 2022 Moon in Aries Sun in Leo My Day-Ended My 21 Day Fast

Haywood and I ate today after 21 days of fasting. It was pretty good. I’m grateful for food and so many things. We had a huge raw steak and I had potato wedges from the deli. I shared a few, but Hay doesn’t need potatoes. My brain was super sensitive to food. Let me tell you what I learned. Raw steak was amazing and exactly what my body needed. It lit up my reptilian brain with satisfaction. Not addictive satisfaction, but healthy awww feeling satisfaction. However, the potato wedges made me feel loved. I have noticed this feeling with potatoes on and off throughout this adventure, but I never understood it till today. The potatoes effected the middle part of my brain. Where my reptilian and logical brain meet. Which is weird because food is apart of our reptilian brain. There is no reason it should effect any other part. So I looked at the ingredients. They have biologically engineered ingredients. This is exactly the same thing as the chocolate cake I ate a couple months ago. It had biologically engineered ingredients and it too made me feel loved. So here is my hypothesis. Biologically engineered ingredients make you have food orgasms in your brain and make you feel loved. While at the same time attacking and confusing the connections between your reptilian and logical brain to ensure it’s more difficult to transition into logical thought. If the pathways are damaged, the transitions between the two brains will be damaged. Crazy right!? This is why they always give me more potatoes than I ask for, no matter the state or the store. They always give me too much. They literally trying to give me brain damage. And you all too. No wonder so many people eat fast food. Its biologically engineered food. It makes you feel loved, while dumbing you down and blocking your access to your logical mind. No wonder people who eat a lot of fast food seem a bit slow. They are slow by design. But honestly, I’m still going to eat the potatoes the next time I eat. They are way better than chancing the chemicals that mess with your limbic and reproductive systems in potato chips. This world is all about choosing the lesser evil when it comes to many things. I’m thinking of I can keep my alternate day eating that will be best for managing my lymphoma and keeping my swelling to a minimum. I need to start walking again. The past 10ish days I haven’t walked because the poisons were so bad I felt like I was going to puke.

I can’t believe I made it 21 days fasting. I’m so proud of myself. The longest I have gone before this was like 5 or 7 days. I have fasted so much this year. Its been amazing and just what I needed. Haywood looks amazing. He lost a ton of weight, but still has more to go. Yesterday he sat on my lap and did not leave for all over me for the very first time every. Even when I first got him he would ruin my clothes when he sat on me. He is turning more red again and he chases bugs like he used to as a kid. He’s so amazing. He lays his head on me now like he used to and wants to be close more. This was exactly what he needed too. I did catch him eating a rat tail from a dead rat he found today, but he always loves dead things. I’m just grateful he didn’t roll in it. And I fed him parasite medicine afterwards.

I have been looking for a job like no other. It’s pretty annoying, but I am just jumping through the hoops. Tomorrow I have a couple interviews. They are probably complete Truman shows, but I’m still going and I’m still trying. They have been keeping me up all night with poisons. I learned in Arizona as long as I lay down and rest everything will be okay in the end. Sleep deprivation is something used to break people. I’m not new to this, but it sucks.

I saw my college friend Gina today at Safeway. My Dad likes to use people I know in my Truman show. Gina, you look so good. It was really nice to see you. You were my favorite person before you went to AA and got all weird. I always told you that you weren’t helpless, but now I can explain the science behind it. I hope you take some natural antibiotics and lay off the bagels a bit. You and bread. I miss having donuts with you and Jas and Marji at 2am after the bars. Those were moments I will never forget and always cherish. Know I love you always and forever and you are more powerful than you will ever know. I promise you have no clue how powerful you are and one day I will have the science to explain myself. Do some fasting and talk to God and he will show you, just like how I showed you energy when we used to do E. You are amazing.

So the farmers did something. I’m not sure what, but the police woke me up and didn’t ask for my ID or anything. They were just checking on me. It was the same two from last week who I chit chatted with while walking the Haywood. My Dad’s pissed. And the people seem to be trickling out of his grasp even more today as time passes. Orders from the farmers tend to take a couple days because they dont utilize modern technology like my Dad. I wonder what they said. The people left fighting are strongly Republican and have no clue who they are getting into bed with. It’s a sleeping with the enemy situation and they are clueless. How can they be so naive? I still wonder what the farmers said. I had no expectations on them saying anything to improve my situation. But it seems yet again, they have.

I went to the food stamp office in Eugene today. I had never been to this location. If you want to see the slave race and gene mutations and epigenetic triggers that are taking place go to the department of human services. It was scary. I’m not scared by much, but these people scared me. They needed to parasite cleanse so badly. They were in pain and had been kept small most of their life. It made me so grateful that I found a way out. It may not have lasted for long, but I got to see and experience the world. I got to live and some people never get that. I’m lucky and I will never take that forgranted.

I wonder so much what the farmers said. I’m going to ponder it and relax for a bit before I get ready for tomorrow.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves

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