I realized I am sick. It’s hard to tell what is from being poisoned so much and what is my body sometimes. It has been awhile since they gave me covid so it’s about time. My throat hurts really bad. I thought it was just from the new poison they were using. But I do have a fever. With all the fasting and anti virals I take it is surprising I got sick. I really dont get sick. So I double up on the zinc, l lysine, and turmeric essential oils. I should be better by tomorrow. High dose zinc will fix almost any sickness or cold.
Today, I am sad. I realized that my whole life my desires to just be ordinary and regular were never possible. I dont understand who wins in the systems my Dad created and perpetuates? Do the Aryans win? Because I dont view having the most gene mutations as winning. Do the other superior white people win? Because they also have overwhelming gene mutations and negative epigenetic triggers and are kept small. Do the ethnic people who sign up to work with my Dad and enslave their own people win? Because they are still never viewed as equals. They sell out their own people to be used and to still never get to be equal. My aunt lana and aunt Lydia act like superior white people more than they do act like one of us. They both had the highest cortisol response to taking part in trying to destroy and kill me on this revolution when I went back to my mom’s house. Why do they sell us all out to be forever deemed inferior? I dont understand why anyone would sign up to be deemed inferior.
So who actually wins? The people who follow my Dad and join his cult have incredible c diff infections. He encourages people to grow their c diff infection. This way they are addicts and easily controlled. Who actually wins in the systems in place? Because it doesn’t even seem like my Dad is winning. He doesn’t have anyone who actually loves him. No one loves him. People only conditionally care for him based on what he gives them. That’s not leadership. That’s not success. That’s just bribery. So my Dad brainwashed people and bribed them and he keeps them small and manageable so these tactics will be the most effective on people. That’s not success. That’s not potential. It’s just manipulation. Anyone can bribe people to do what they want. And anyone can be successful at it when they keep people small, grow an infection in them that makes them addicts, and then bribe them. What the fuck are we doing people?
I understand wanting to have a good life. I understand wanting to be treated fairly. But the systems in place do not offer these things to anyone. We play by the rules and they enslave us all. You achieve some degree of a good life and it is conditional on you continuing to try to prove yourself till you die. No one ever reaches a point where they dont have to prove themselves worthy anymore. My Dad has everyone on a hamster wheel trying to prove they matter. And trying to prove we deserve good things. But he never deems anyone worthy for long. No one ever gets to relax and take a deep breath. One moment he says good job and is approving, but the next minute you are dead. Who knows when he is lying or telling the truth.
Brenda and Kris married my Dad because they thought he was invested in building with them. They thought he approved of them. And he probably told them he did want these things. But he killed them. So he didn’t approve of them for long. Or maybe he never did and just lied to get what he wanted. Who does my Dad approve of? He has never had a wife he really loved or approved of. He is not found of me or my brother. The only reason my Dad fought for me in my parents divorce was because I was too valuable in the war games to leave to my mom. However my Dad never fought for my brother. He left my brother to be raised by my mom. My Dad never much cared for my brother. He cares for what he represents to him now. But that’s it. My Dad will never care for anyone. Look at my Dad’s mom who taught him to be how he is today. How many times has my Dad seen her in the past 40 years? Less than a handful. The woman who gave him life, all his fancy birthrights, and taught him how to play dirty to get more has still not earned my Dad’s approval. So if my grandma cant earn his approval. His wives cant earn his approval. Me and my brother cant earn his approval. Who has won his approval? And how long till he changes his mind and starts killing them?
Who wins in this mess? Because from how I see it we are all being held hostage in a spiderweb of lies and brainwashing with some bribes that never truly pan out. Have you ever gotten to relax and feel safe? Have you ever felt lasting approval? Or are you constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop?
When people sell each other out for false promises of security that never pan out are we ever really safe from anything or anyone? Who can we trust if we cant trust the people who are supposed to have our best interest in mind. Birthrights like mine were created to hold people hostage. But the irony is these birthrights hold me hostage. Who isnt being held hostage? Because even people without fancy birthrights are being held hostage. We all loose until the world stops agreeing to take part and play this game where no one wins. You all cannot help me create better for us all while holding onto the old systems that aim to brainwash and hold us all hostage. Aren’t you tired of never being safe and never getting to enjoy your lives? Everything you have can always be taken away in this system because that is the only way you will stay on this hamster wheel for your own destruction. The only way we all get our freedom to really live and enjoy life is by coming together and overriding the old systems. Aren’t you tired of never getting to relax and enjoy life? Life is meant to put you at ease. Life is not meant to create dis ease.
Aren’t you tired?
Love Always
Nicole D Graves