Well, thank you again for the answers. Just got back from a dog walk in Thurston and you all give me the answers even without eye contact. My Mom knows. Just as she always has. Be careful what you wish for! I asked for my Mom on the Jeep cam the night before I “ran into” her. No one will save or love me, why do I still have hope for people?
This was/is a trap. Love has always been the largest weapon/trap in my family and life. My Mom taught me this, she also went from overt to covert in the mid 1980’s. I know better than to expect people to change who they are at their core. I have always wanted a Mom who knows love and she pretends to know love way better than when I was younger. One of my deepest wounds is not having parents who viewed me worthy of love. I am the only one left in my Truman Show. Everyone else has broke, huh? I am the last one fighting.
What has made you all accept this as your fate? Fear seems to be the largest motivator for people involved in this mess. Do you all ever do anything out of love? Why don’t you all love yourselves? Or your children?
P.S. I am still unsure about which of my parents created the military people, but does it really matter? They probably worked together on it. It was my parents though.
P.S.S. It is not a coincidence that I started to get back out into society and started a sales job right before covid started, huh?