My World Fell Apart, But I Channel My Anger

My world literally fell apart over the weekend. I realized I was raised to believe in so many fake realities and this is why my world has been so fragmented. Every time I would find a hole in the logic of the reality my Father created for me I got people to do fancy footwork to cover it up. Which normally meant blameshifting, projections, and world salad. No one has ever gotten to be authentic around me, especially not my family. Can you imagine what this feels like? To know the whole world literally conspired against you to keep you small and manageable, on orders from your Father.

Well, look at everything I have accomplished up till now. And now take into account the added anger I have to channel. If I was capable before, can you imagine how motivated I am now? I have nothing to live for other than my dogs, my potential, and getting even/setting things right. I may be late to the show, but now I understand more than ever how much the future of the world is entwined with my destiny. You all may not like me and/or respect me or take me seriously, but no one can deny that we all have paid greatly for my need for equality and fairness.

When I was in Santa Fe this summer, I got the Scandinavian SS soldiers to see through the lies my family tells about me. If the things they say are true, but they have not been able to tame me with threats and fears, what does that say about them? If they truly had me under control wouldn’t this adventure have ended back in April? How long ago did they tell you all that I was dead? If you cannot trust what they say, how can you trust them to lead?

Why settle for a region, when you could have a say in the whole pie? I know my Father is not known for keeping his word, from personal experience. How can you trust someone who is more invested in destruction than potential to do the right thing for all of us? I may have pie in the sky dreams that are filled with ideology, but at least you know I mean what I say and I want the best for us all.

As I sit here eating raw meat with my hands, I wonder if you all question my dedication? Do you realize I have cured cancer, escaped a death camp, been chased through multiple states by bikers, communist, and military, and survived being imprisioned by everyone I have ever loved. If you cannot see my commitment than I don’t know what I need to do to show you. I believe we all have a destiny calling us to explore our potential. The destruction of the world has to come to an end now, because if you all allow me to die there will be no hope for the generations to come.

I can feel the world has changed, but I just want you all to know I will never take who I am foregranted. I have fought so very hard to be who I am because I have also paid dearly for being who I am.

Never forget who you are, it will save you.


Nicole Graves

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