People Watching At Kesey Square In Eugene

The lady at work is just like my Mom. Even down to her fiddling with her fingers when she is nervous. So, whatever she says I just pretty much know the opposite is true. Unless it is about work and then she will give me more information than needed to make things complicated as a pattern interrupt.

Today at work, she told me about going to a cemetery for her Aunt who died on 9-11(I am still not sure what 9-11 was about, but I figured it had something to do with my family cult and keeping you all in a fear state). Anyways, I knew this was a covert message where they were trying to get me to stay around my dead people and not go out. The thing is that my dead people follow me where ever I go. It is like my family knew I would get lonely in this lifetime, so they gave me head surgery to give me the dead people.

So I went down to downtown Eugene to Kesey Square and there was live music. What a perfect place to people watch. I saw you all living your lives like you are not serial killers, but that is what you always have done. This is how you sleep at night, you tell yourself what you do is normal and acceptable. When did poisoning people become overwhelmingly normal? Around World War II here in the United States, huh?

I saw today that you all are missing a sense of self. This is something I can relate to very much. Autism means I often have blinders when it comes to me and my abilities. But then again maybe this is just the brainwashing because you all have it too. At least those of you who have not developed a cluster b personality disorder. Anyways, this lack of a sense of self is what keeps you seeking validation outside yourself and seeking approval from your community. I have never had a sense of community and plus I saw how my family preyed on others who just wanted to belong. I also spent almost a lifetime looking for community, but when I moved to the desert I stopped seeking. Why keep looking for something that did not exist? I am never going to be considered one of you all, but at least now I understand why.

What will it take for you all to get fed up and develop a sense of self? Perhaps something like the fear of taking accountability for not only your sins, but the sins of the collective. Your sense of community is not so attractive when you are faced with the possibility of having to take accountability for it all. Where will that community be when you need them the most? Do you think they will write to you in jail? Will they put in a good word for you with the cult members who run the people in there? Showing support is pretty overt and not really their style. However, I bet this is enough to make some of you all question the reality you have allowed yourself to be backed into.

Fear is a sign something is wrong!

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

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