I never imagined when I came here that my revolution would turn into an effort to stop World War 3. And I sure as hell never imagined having to leave here without Teka. My life has gone pretty far from any plan I have ever had for it. But I have given up privilege over and over because it just never felt right. There was always something missing. And it was a big something missing.
I never understood what that something was until the past couple days. That something was unconditional love or even love period. I have had multiple different kinds of lifestyles of privilege but none of them left room for love. It was an emptiness that never went away and haunted me during my quiet times.
I dont kniw how much of a Hispanic population there is here. Or if there are many ethnic people. But I am sure you all know someone who is not fully white. Would you treat them as less than based solely on the color of their skin? Would you punish them for being who they are? And even more extreme would you banish them to a life of suffering and death due to who they are?
Racism is wrong. Killing people is wrong. Torturing people is wrong. Building death camps is wrong. So many things are wrong with the world and they are only going to get worse, unless I have the opportunity to fulfill my destiny and change things. Can you imagine how overwhelmed I feel? This is all so much and less than a year and a half ago I knew nothing of the war games.
I’m not asking for your pity, but for your understanding. We all have our roles in this world. Life is hard in different ways for us all. However, the sad scary truth is if you are not fully white and German you will never be safe in the world that is emerging. My Dad is all about creating slave races and elevating the Aryan race just like my great Grandpa. This means I’m not safe because I am half Russian. Is anyone really safe when a dictator is in a place of ultimate power?
Northwest Redmond, especially 19th & Antler, you all weren’t white all the way like my Dad’s vision of perfection. Ethnic people have always taken more joy in destroying me, I’m not sure why. Does it make you feel important to destroy someone who is half white? Does it feel good to pick on someone everyone has taken their turn at tormenting? I’m an easy target no one has ever been allowed to be kind to me. I understand taking my dog felt good for you and it felt like getting even. But how does it feel now to know your future is just like Tekas if I dont succeed on my mission? My grandpa would throw Jews in the ghetto all the time randomly. You will never be safe. You will be laying in your bed every night praying that tonight isn’t the night your door gets broken down and you get thrown into a ghetto with all your other ethnic neighbors. If you thought the world was unsafe now, just imagine where we are heading with my Dad in charge and him building his Mexican version of the Berlin wall. It scary for us all, but especially for the dark side Members. He will start with his own and make examples of them. Just as he has done to me. You see me, I’m your future more than you ever imagined possible.
I pray I am able to fulfill my destiny. Can you imagine having such big shoes to fill? I’m scared. I dont want to let anyone down. And letting someone down means leaving them vulnerable to genocide both overt and covert. I have no clue how I’m going to go about this all, but I know um probably going to need to brush up on my Spanish big time. Teka came from a Spanish speaking household. I got her in Vegas. I know it seems silly for me to be so attached to a little 8lb creature. But I am and I dont apologize for it. Shes such a big part of my life. I need her back. Facing the magnitude of what I have to do is overwhelming. She calms me down and soothes my soul. Please return her to me. She has a microchip so you just need to have it read. I dont kniw how you covertly return someone you have kidnapped but I’m sure you all can figure it out. And I know you all know who has her. Please motivate this person to do the right thing. You all have been taught and conditioned to police each other.
I’m not one for making threats but I do believe in telling the truth to a fault. I will never forgive you all if I dont get Teka back. Never. I have been surrounded by the greatest evils in the world my whole life and I have been nothing but kind and generous to all the people. I never have excluded anyone from my revolution. I believe everyone is deserving. However, if I dont get my Teka back I will have no problem deeming Redmond undeserving. And that means all of you because you know who has her. I dont forget the people who have gone out of their way to hurt me. I do hold big grudges. I will hold a Mt. Everest grudge against you all. And not feel any guilt about it. Maybe even having the world help me fulfill this grudge.
I prefer love, but if you take my love as weakness be prepared to be proven wrong at your own expense. I will win this war just to get even with you all. I dont care if it takes me 5, 10, 20 years I will get even. I have not spoken to my Dad in over 20 years and here I am getting even with him. With a genius mind comes a hell of a memory that why they drugged me so much.
Please return my dog so I dont have to declare my own personal war on you all because I will. My live is my greatest asset. But it can be used to inflict great pain in those who wish to use it against me. Do you think my Dad has been enjoying this revolution or do you believe it to be the most painful part of his life?
I’m an expert at love. And pain is just the opposite of love.
Nicole D Graves