Self-Care After Narcissistic Abuse

Learning how to take care of yourself and listen to your body is the first step in recovering from narcissistic abuse. After a lifetime of putting other people’s needs before your own, it is difficult to even know what your body needs and/or wants. And loving yourself seems like an out-of-body experience. Self-care is the journey to self-love.

After narcissistic abuse we all want to live our best lives and make up for the time we have lost. This means practical application of self-care to develop self-love in a healthy manner. Self-love is the foundation to a healthy and satisfying life. This seems so simple in theory, but let’s examine the root cause of this “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” as Ross Rosenburg puts it.

Self-Love Deficit Disorder is the outcome of being raised by toxic people who do not know how to honor themselves. Conditional love is the language these people speak. Thus, motivated by our fear of not being loved, we learned very early to live by other people’s feelings rather than our own. Until we overcome this Self-Love Deficit Disorder we will continue to attract people who do not honor themselves or us.

When I first read about Ross Rosenburg’s Self-Love Deficit Disorder and The Human Magnet Syndrome, I was shocked to the core. It made so much sense. Logically, I could see how these theories had played out in my life. However, I did not know where to go from here. How was I supposed to practice self-love if I had never experienced someone who actually loved themselves?

Radical self-care is the solution to Self-Love Deficit Disorder. Learning how to care for your body, mind, and spirit are the building blocks to developing self-love. Once again this sounds entirely too simple, but it works. As codependent empaths, we were raised to cater to the needs and feelings of others. Now is the time to cater to our own needs and feelings in order to heal.

How do you practically apply this information in your everyday life? Create baby steps that add up and naturally snowball. For example, start taking your physical health seriously. I enjoy this approach, because feeling better physically leads to better mental health. Some baby steps would be to start taking vitamins/supplements, do a parasite cleanse, take long relaxing salt baths, eat healthier foods, go for walks, go to the gym, sit in a sauna, get a massage, and/or start meditating. Pick a few self-care practices and do them on a regular basis. When you start to feel the payoff, you will want to add more self-care into your life and the snowball begins. Honor your body, mind, and spirit and only allow others into your life who do the same. This is how self-love is created.

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