Stuck In The Fog: Fear, Obligation, & Guilt

You know how my family, the Kudearoff cult, gets you stuck? They get you stuck in the fog: Fear, Obligation, & Guilt. They make you do things that turn you into a slave to them and then your feelings too. You become stuck in a cycle of circular thoughts of fear, obligation, and guilt. This is what they did to me as a child and what the SS soldiers do to their children.

You know how you break the cycle? You realize you are human, humans make mistakes, and forgive yourself. Live, learn, and do better. Sure there will always be things to fear, but there is no reason to give loyalty to people who do not give loyalty to you. This is why I am able to be free of my family and my trauma bonds. Sure I love them, but they do not show me love or loyalty. They just wish to feed off my feelings of humanity.

This is what they are doing to those of you who are not dead inside. They are preying on the fact that you are not dead inside and using it against you. This is why people are quick to break, because they torture you and then use your humanity against you over and over until you do break. Because the emotional pain and trauma is more impactual than the actual physical damage they do most the time. This is why people give up their humanity. It hurts to be human.

The neighbor at the death camp who had his erection taken away medically, a pee bag installed, and then was homeless in the desert afterwards was way more traumatized emotionally than anything. The cult preys on emotions because they can be used against you. How do you think I learned how to be not human? It is a survival mechanism and I needed it to survive childhood, let alone my adult years.

The “grey rock method” is how you deal with toxic people who run the cult(sociopaths and narcissists). You stop being reactive and just learn to be boring when being abused. Take it as just another day in this weird world we live in. They get bored and move onto someone who is more reactive and fun for them to abuse. This is a large part of playing dead and it works because they do not have the emotional intelligence to read you beyond the surface level. Emotional intelligence is the key to really knowing anything and they do not have access to it.

So hold your emotions close, stop reacting, and eat more meat.

Love Always

Nicole Graves

P.S. Take your vitamins and move your body daily, too!

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