Happy Sunday Funday! I didn’t end up going to actual church today. I just couldn’t muster up the energy to deal with another predatory situation or experience. Religion has an agenda. Honestly I am not sure what that agenda is other than to enslave people and dominate the world. It seems a lot like my Dad. But yet, church is the only way towards our salvation. So where do we go from here?
At this point, no one is willing to take action based on what I have to say in the overt world. Everyone is still living in fear of my family. I get it. Most people have lived in this fear for the majority of not all their lives. It will take some time to pass.
At this point, I’m not in a place where I can create much on the overt world, other than this little domain I have purchased. This spot on the internet is where my whole revolution began. It seems small and lifeless. But it has taken on a life of it’s own.
People thought I was crazy to try to be revolutionary. They thought I was just putting off the inevitable. Which was my death. Everyone felt helpless, but they did the little covert things they could like staying home. Not until I reached the majority of Salem did I have real support. They knew they weren’t helpless. They knew we were all just being held hostage from what we truly deserve. Salem saved me. Not only did they help me reach more people from Washington to Redding than I ever imagined, but they gave me hope and mirrored me. They saw my humanity as their own.
Over the past 500 plus days, I have encountered people who doubt my ability to do the impossible everyday. This by design. This is what my Truman show aims to do in order to get me to give up. However, if I was incapable of doing the impossible I would not be alive. And I for sure would not make my Dad so mad because he feels out of control.
The gang stalkers have been going nuts at night. It’s as if they dont want the world to see what they are doing. Sleep deprivation is my Dad’s favorite brain washing took besides malnutrition. However, these things are not new to me. They just are.
The Koreans changed my overt world a lot. I feel safer than I have maybe ever. It’s pretty weird. I still get poisoned around people and poison in my food and water. But I finally feel like the war games are on my side. After over 500 days, the war games are finally showing me respect. Well, they are not trying to kill me overtly covertly. One day I hope to be respected. But I have to stay alive to get to that moment. So, this is a step in the right direction.
I dont know how looking for a job is going to change or if it will. But I have another interview this week and I am always applying for more jobs. The goal is get a job and get a studio so I can keep working through the winter and stay in town. I need somewhere to hide from the world in the overt world that is just mine. It will take months because my Dad interfered with my tax return. So I will have to fix that. But he messes with my taxes and human rights every chance he gets. Nothing new.
When I get an apartment, it will be a prison too. The people who live near me will sign up to hang stalk and poison me, whether it be through the walls or when I leave the comforts of my home even to walk the Haywood. I’m asking the farmers, the Koreans, and whoever is in charge of the middle men to make this a war crime and or just make it not happen. I dont know how, but just make the people stop taking their hate out on me. Hurt people hurt people and everyone is hurt nowadays. My whole life I have been a target, an unknowing target, of everyone’s hate. I’m tired of being the whipping boy for my family. Just make the people stop. And dear lord, please help me get a job.
So back to church, I am at a loss for how to create a church for us all. I know this is the next step we need to take in order to ensure our own safety. We need to create an organized religion that is not predatory, but has a physical place of business. And not just one place. It will need to be accessible to us all. We will need multiple chapters. Yes, some of this will be able to be broadcast on the internet in order to reach us all. But we need a safe physical place to go worship and meet with God. So we are going to start this just like I started my revolution. Right here on this domain on the internet, we are going to find God again together.
We are going to talk about beliefs and experiences and how we can learn and grow from everything to be better. I don’t know much about religion. But I know God. And God is all about doing better. It’s that easy. You are always loved and to pay him back for that you consistently try to be a better human in all ways. It’s not easy, but it’s simple. And we are going to talk about it. Sunday church with the farmers will continue. But everyone is welcome and expected. I’m sure there is a way to replay what I say if you are out and about. So just do that. I dont need you all to be at my back and call. Just check in when you have time. Life is about checking in with each other. That’s community and love. We share beliefs, a common goal to do better in order to reach potential, and we check in on one another. We don’t have to agree on everything. We are human and all different. However, its beautiful how so many groups of different people can come together over a common cause and belief. I’m so proud of you all. We are defying history right now. We defining how we will move forward from this point. We have accepted that we all deserve better. Do you know how big that really is? Do you understand we are doing what most people thought was impossible? It’s not just me, it’s all of us. We are doing the impossible. I’m so proud. I hope you all understand this wouldn’t be possible without you. You made this possible. This is your accomplishment to share and relish. You did the impossible. Now where else in your life are you going to do the impossible? Because now you know it’s in you. Its been there all along. So what’s next for you? Spend some time thinking about yourself and what’s possible for you. Because you just have to decide to do it and then take the steps necessary to get there. You can do anything you set your mind to and come up with a plan for. And look at me and this revolution. Sometimes that plan comes one step at a time. But you do that one step and the next one comes. One foot in front of the other. You just keep going.
Your Sunday church homework is not just to think about your future. But you need to create a place in your family for your dreams of the future to be supported. This means every week you need to have a meal with your family. A homemade meal where you are not rushed and you talk about your dreams and your week. And the place where the current connects to future. Ideally that is this now moment.
When I was little every Saturday we went to my Grandma Kudearoff’s house. I’m not sure what my Dad did those Saturdays, but my Mom and me we woke up showered and went to Grandma’s house. I watched cartoons, everyone was there talking, there was always food and I got to eat meat. Sometimes we even had two meals and didn’t go home till late that night. I realized recently I was only really feed potatoes, rice, and cake & cookies as a kid. This is why I have such digestion issues besides all the antibiotics I took. I never developed the enzymes necessary to digest most foods. However, this is why I have been able to survive this year. I have stuck mostly to raw meat(which digests itself and skips the colon mostly) and potatoes. Potatoes are literally a poisonous plant, but I was fed them so much as child my digestive system knows how to handle them. Potatoes are my saving grace literally.
Anyways, Saturday’s at my Grandma Kudearoff’s house I got to really eat. True they used food to destroy me, but I would have starved without those Saturdays. She let me have as much and whatever I wanted. It wasn’t healthy, but it saved my life and brain.
Food needs to be a tool to show love with. Food has the ability to heal. Food is thy medicine. We all need to learn what we can digest because it will save your life, just like it has saved mine. We need to all know how to cook. When we dont know how to cook we become more dependent on the food system that aims to destroy us. We will always be dependent on the food system, but we can make smarter choices. This means one meal or one day a week you all need to eat something to feed your soul with your family and/or friends. We are going to start small and just start with one meal a week.
When my Dad was married to Kris, she liked to make Sunday brunch or dinner. The Sunday dinners were nice because her kids had friends over and they talked a lot. Most weeks this was one of the few meals I ate without being alone and cooking for myself. It was the one nutritious meal I got most weeks. One meal a week can make a world of difference.
We start with one meal a week to change the world and deepen our connections to God. Because God is inside us all. We just need to be nourished in order to feel God. So take your vitamins, learn how to cook what you can digest, and start having church dinners with your family and/or friends. Tall about your dreams, your goals, and the steps you are taking to make those real. One meal a week can set you up for success for the rest of the week.
See you all again next Sunday, life is about rituals and routines that set you up for success.
Nicole D Graves
PS. There are a lot of California plates around me. Can we let them all know what’s happening please?