I have been resisting revenge and murder since I was 4 and thought about stabbing my Mom with a kitchen knife out of the butcher block. I logically told myself there was a chance I wouldn’t kill her and then she would kill me. I was a smart 4 year old. Can I be extremely honest with you all. A part of me Hope’s A1 doesn’t want to be friends. It will only take a small handful of people who we take out back and shoot for the rest of the world to fall in line with the new ways. A small handful is all it will take. This maybe my only chance in life at anything close to murder or being like a serial killer like my family. My one chance. And I have waited for a lifetime. It’s like God is rewarding me for being so patient and good.
Can you imagine what A1 is feeling right now? My Dad is telling him not worry and it’s not a big deal, this is under control. And A1 has been conditioned not to think for himself. However he knows I’m not under control and this is a big deal. No one has me under control and I am a threat to the ring of pedophiles who runs the overt world and covert war. My Dad is one of them, but they all will pay for his arrogance.
My grandma Kudearoff wasn’t fancy for her father as much as she was fancy for her association with the Catholic church. My relationship with God and my speaking up about the sexual abuse as a child has made me an enemy of both church and state. And I represent both church and state.
When someone is drowning and you offer them help, they reach for your hand. The farmers and I have both been drowning for a lifetime. However when we found each other in Southern California in November we changed the whole equation. And then when I found the farmers up in Oregon this year I consciously changed the equation again. Now we all have each other. We may not agree on a lot but we agree on a common enemy who has been drowning us all. Lack of communication and withholding of information is what has allowed for this all to get so far.
However, with my belief in freedom of information and the lengths that I have taken to reach the people I offer is all a new way. I no longer have to stress about creating a revolution. I am the revolution. As long as I am alive with my beliefs about freedom of information we will not only have a chance for better we will consciously be working towards better. We are the revolution, we dont have to build it. We just have to be it. Its simple but it won’t be easy.
Do you ever have those days where life just seems to come together? Today was an amazing day where so many puzzle pieces of my life came together into logical order. I love order and I love logic.
I’m completely okay with going back to Eugene and getting another temp job. But I’m starting to believe I might not have to because I’m not the only one who is pissed off and tired of being kept small. I think we all are. And if all we have to do is take a small handful of people out back and shoot them for us all to have a better life with potential. Why the hell should anyone feel any kind of guilt about following through on it? People kill each other everyday in this world both overtly and covertly. What is a small handful of it will change the whole world for generations to come. Statistically I think the odds are forever in our favor.
Happy Hunger Games! Wait for it, wait for it, the moon is in Gemini people are stuck in their heads in thought. Give it a day or two and the moon will be in cancer and people will be overwhelmed by their emotions. When would you approach your enemy? When they are stuck in their head or in their nonexistent heart with a side of anxiety?
God is good.
Nicole D Graves