On Sundays we talk about God. Knowing about God means knowing about yourself, because we all are God like. God is in each and every one of us. That awe you feel when you look at the stars and moon that is God. And God is in you too. Your body is just as amazing as the stars and moon. You are a miracle every day. There are so many things about the human body that science cant explain and doesn’t understand. Those things are God. We dont have to know how to explain something to feel it and for it to be real. God is a feeling and we all know the feeling. But do we let our inability to explain that feeling make us deny it’s existence? Or do we listen to that feeling so we can learn to understand it more and learn to describe it? The choice is yours and you make this decision every day.
We all have an infection of antibiotic resistant bacteria called c diff. C. Diff causes Autism. So we all are on the Autism spectrum. Autism is a mitochondrial dysfunction so at times in your life it may be worse than others. It’s a spectrum disease because it’s an epigenetic disease. You can improve your epigenetics or you can make them worse. Everyday you make this decision. Getting better is a choice just like hearing and listening to God. However if you listen to God you will have better epigenetics. People who believe in God have better epigenetics. People who believe in a kind loving forgiving God have even better epigenetics. So every day you are deciding who you are on so many levels that will dictate how you experience the world. You get to choose the world you live in.
C diff changes the way our brains process dopamine. This makes us all addicts. Again this is a choice and not a death sentence. Some people choose to be addicted to crack, some people choose to be addicted to destruction, and some people choose to be addicted to potential. It’s a choice you make that will make you better or bitter. And it will effect the world you live in and how you precieve that world. You get to choose if your world is dark and dismal or filled with opportunities and potential. Creating the world you live in is an inside job. Only you get to choose.
C. Diff and Autism mean we have a hard time connecting with humans. However, we love things. This is the driving force in materialism. We love things because they seem more obtainable than being able to connect and bond with others. You have seen hoaders right? Really they just have a really bad c diff infection and have stopped trying to connect with humans and replaced humans with things. I have never seen a clean and organized hoader have you? I still don’t understand this part, but I do know that being dirty and messy is a sign of a bad c diff infection. However, being overly clean and organized and having OCD is also a symptom of c diff and narcissistic abuse. Fear of not being perfect results in OCD. Hoarders have given up on even trying to be perfect and have given into relying on things to get their emotional needs met.
So here we are a world of people who are not able to easily connect with others. Instead of looking at people like people we look at them as things. Things to collect, conquer, and arrange how we wish. We look at people like material things. Things can’t change. But yet people are not things and people can change. We see people as Legos. That person is a yellow Lego. This person is a red Lego. He is a black Lego. She is a white Lego. We see them as definite things. Things that cannot change. Yet, people change. Our c diff infections are always changing and so we change. And that is just one example of change. Information changes people and we are constantly learning new things. People are not constant we are on a spectrum and always changing. However our brains do not account for this change because of our Autism and C Diff. Sharon is a yellow Lego she will always be a yellow Lego.
So when we dont like what we are, how do we go about fixing it when we are stuck in these patterns of thinking? We add things to ourselves. Maybe we find a small green Lego to add to the top. Maybe we wear a hat. Maybe we get plastic body parts. Maybe we change the people we associate with because people are just things right? Maybe we buy a new car or a new house. Maybe we buy anything and everything we want in an effort to like ourselves more and change the thing we are. This is materialism. This is how materialism preys on our c diff infections. If we view ourselves as things we will buy more things to try to reshape ourselves and like ourselves better.
However people are human. Humans are constantly changing. Your thoughts in every moment influence your epigenetics. So in every moment you are changing. The information you seek out or experience because of the life you live changes you. You may receive information and facts that reinforce the world is dark and awful or you may find evidence the world is amazing. Whatever evidence you set out to find in life you will. Life is a choose your own adventure, you will find what you seek.
Yesterday and still today I see French Canadians fighting this war for my Dad and signing up to be in his cult because they dont like the thing they are. They are trying to add something to themselves to like themselves more. People are constantly changing, but these people see themselves as things. They don’t appreciate who they are or where they come from because they were never taught to appreciate who they are. Until you appreciate who you are you will forever seek things and associations to try to make yourselves better. But it wont ever work because your base of who you are and the thing you dont like never goes away no matter how much you try to decorate it and hide it. You are forever going to be the thing you view yourself as until you realize and understand people are human. And this makes you human. Humans are meant to be different and to constantly be changing. We are not meant to be a uniform thing. We cannot be a uniform thing it’s impossible no matter how hard we try. So we all can continue to fruitlessly do what we having been doing for decades and generations and try to hide the thing we precieve ourselves to be that we dont like. Or we can accept we are human, forever changing, and we are all different.
The French Canadians still signing up to fight this war for my Dad need to see who they really are. You all seem to be really powerful in your own arena, but your letting how powerless you feel when you see yourself in the war games dictate who you are. A fish out of water will always feel uncomfortable no matter how fast he swims.
I understand seeing something and wanting to be apart of it. But let me tell you all the war games are not all they are cracked up to be. I have the birthrights everyone in the war games would literally kill to have and let me tell you all it’s painful. I have never experienced anything fruitful out of being the things I represent. I have never experienced human love. No one has ever seen me as a person or human. I have forever been a symbol for the war games. But I’m just a human like you all.
You French Canadians in my Dad’s cult have some of the worst epigenetics. You have Gene’s that are diverse without more than average gene mutations because you have genetic diversity. However your epigenetics and the Gene’s you have turned on are an awful mess. This is because my Dad conditions you all to hate yourselves and hate where you come from. You are you because of where you come from. You are amazing because of where you come from. However you are not the same thing as the people who have come before you.
When I was little my Dad had everyone tell me I was just like my Mom because I hated my Mom. She abused and hurt me in countless ways. I very distinctly remember my Uncle Brett telling me i was just like my Mom and then having that look of enjoying my pain when i was about 5 or 6. I knew something was wrong with my family. I didn’t know what, but I knew something was wrong with them. Of course I was like my Mom I was her daughter. I still am her daughter I have her genes. But I’m nothing like my Mom. I knew I was nothing like my Mom. You can be from your family and location and ethnic group and be nothing like them. However you will share Gene’s with them and you probably look like them. But you are not destined to be like them. You get to choose who you are down to a gene level. This is epigenetics. You are in control of who you are almost 100%. Sure you may not be able to greatly influence how tall you are or change your hair color or eye color. But for the most part you are in control of who you are because humans are on a spectrum and are always changing. I’m always going to be similar to my mom in some ways because I have her genes and she raised me. But I’m never going to be like her. I hope you understand you never have to be a thing and you never have to be like someone you hate who hurt you. You can choose to be like them or you can choose to be you. However if you choose to be like them you will forever hate the thing you are instead of being the human you were born and destined to be.
Signing up to fight this war for my Dad 8s signing up to hate the thing you are because you are not being the person you are destined to be. No one was born to be in my Dad’s cult. You were born to be you. Give it a try, I promise you will like what you see and find. You don’t have to be the people who came before you and hurt you. Be you it’s way better.
Love Always
Nicole D Graves