Parking At My Mom’s House

I have found a weird kind of safety parking at my Mom’s house. Her house is toxic and makes my liver hurt and most of her food is poisoned. But she is not to blame. She is living in her own Truman Show just as most of the women in our family. Luckily, I have always been the black sheep so she understands that I question everything. It is just who I have always been and she knows my favorite question has always been “Why?”

My thyroid/throat, chest, and liver hurt when I am in her house for a long period of time. All my binders and vitamins that have been in my Jeep have been poisoned. They give me the lead lips and angry feelings. I have not been this angry in a long time and after reading the past handful of blog posts I know you all can see it too. This is how I felt most of my life. I was a really angry and anxious person. It is so different than the person I have become since I left Oregon.

The cult leaders must have wrote me off as dead until I started speaking out about being on the Autism spectrum and being an INFJ and genius. Why are they so against me being me? It must threaten who they are and what they plan to do. Who else has questioned their mental state after watching content on TikTok? Did you grow up in a family that felt like a cult? Were the men in your family covert narcissists? And the women/Mothers BPD? I would love anyone who can relate to my story to comment and let me know I am not alone.

Xoxo

Nicole

It Is The Boy

Well, I tried going to bed in my old bedroom at my Mom’s house in my old bed and now I realize it is not so much what I know, it is who I am. My Brother is the only one who has had access to my old bedroom, phone, computer, and tablet which are all making me have a lead reaction that I can feel in my lips, my cold hands and feet, backed up lympathic system, and my cortisol levels. Why are they trying to kill my Mom too?

This has to link back to my Grandpa, my Dad, and my uncles. Why are they trying to keep us stupid? My Mom is smart like me they just have her extremely drugged/poisoned. The food she cooked had poison today, but she did not knowingly do it and it was small doses. There was more in the air at her house. Especially, around the time my Brother woke up. I wrote a note on my phone telling him to stop and saying we need to heal her or we can tell her about his serial status because my phone is bugged by the military people and the bikers. I know he got the message by how he looked when he came upstairs. He was channeling the evil of another. What an empty glow.

My Mom did cook food that my Brother went to the store to get for her. He also poisoned me last night with his truck. He showed up right when I parked outside my Mom’s house. Him and one of his old friends from high school that works at the grocery store stayed up all night “playing video games”. Gotta love those grocery store people! Why don’t they want us to be smart? Maybe because if we knew we could do it on our own, why the fuck we need them? I have never known a man to not be rather useless other than for money or his magic stick. I can make my own money when not sabotaged and use a dildo.

Is this all because my Dad poisoned my Mom while pregnant with me? And her Dad poisoned her Mom when pregnant with her? And my uncles poisoned my aunts while pregnant? We are all are pretty smart, but have rarely gotten traction in life on our own and have had major health issues. Maybe this is why my Mom magically got pregnant with my Brother right before my parents divorced. I really wanted to give my Brother the benefit of the doubt, but as my lips and cheeks are having a lead reaction. I am just pissed. Lead messes with my cortisol and makes it spike. I just gave my dogs a bath tonight and now they are high on lead and dirty again. What the fuck!!

Who the fuck was my Grandpa? There was a question I never really asked, because honestly he seemed quite useless just as most of the men in my family. All they can be asked for is money and to stay out of the way, but they love to create babies with us. They get quite mad when we will not reproduce with them. Look at how much pain it has caused me to say no to children. Even knowing children will not make me happy.

I am having the lead flashbacks now. My brother is poisoning himself too, but why? He isn’t smart like my Mom and I, but he is dynamic. Fun fact: I got my immunizations in half doses, but my Brother got them in thirds. Hmmm! Noteworthy, but still not quite sure what that means. Asperger’s is caused by toxic exposure during pregnancy. My Mom worked at the wood mills when pregnant with me, but she did not when she was pregnant with my Brother. Are all the kids with parents who worked at the mills around here born with autism and I just won some evil lottery? How did me and my Mom win the same lottery? Yes, there are genes, but gene expression is a thing too. What toxin triggers the gene expression for Asperger’s? Dare I guess lead? mold? radon?

They are trying to stop me from figuring out this puzzle. And they want my Mom to be in the dark, she has no eyebrows just like I had in Vegas. And the year she retired she got more sick, just like when I stayed home for covid. Even if I get her the tools to get better they will poison them, just like they did my activated charcoal in the Jeep and all the things in my home in Sierra Vista.

How the fuck do I explain to my Mom that she raised a serial killer with munchausen by proxy who’s longest victim has been her? Jesus Christ!

Xoxo

Nicole

Gotta love family right! Can’t live with them, can’t live without them has a whole new meaning.

Beware Of Balding Men & Women

Baldness is caused by a systemic candida infection, aka a body that is the equivalent of a moldy apartment(I have been waiting to say this for a couple months-you know who you are). Men and women who are balding are covert narcissists. The mold infection has overloaded their body and reached their brain, resulting in their hair falling out and a personality disorder.

In Garberville, California, I encountered people who did not have a cortisol response to seeing me. A couple bald men at the grocery store still did tho. However, I generally did not see the evil of others in most the eyes there. This was something that I did not know was possible. I thought it was the Asperger’s that caused me to have a cortisol response to people, but once again I think it just may be my overactive empathy.

This is how they silence people like me. They overwhelm our senses. We were created to be better/more, but in their desire for more they forgot to be more themselves. We are greater than and they see it and it scares them. It is like a science project gone very wrong, but they started 1000’s of others before they realized this creation could be the end of them. This just oozes of my Mom’s greed. This is how the military got involved, my Mom gave them children like me in exchange for their devotion, loyalty, and protection(see how she intertwined her evil there).

This is why the sales manager, at the real estate company I worked at in Sierra Vista, had 30 years of military service and a second child that was like me. Let’s call him “R” and his wife “G”. R & G were bad replicas of my Mom and Dad in the early 1980’s before the overt to covert incident. Only R & G were empty inside, they were void of skills needed to influence people. They ate fast food daily and did not even pretend to take care of their family in a respectable manner. This is what the military and white people enslaved to my Mom are missing. They are missing the love of destroying. When you want to destroy something forever, you need to nurture it so that it stays alive.

The people enslaved to my Mom inherited her biggest flaw, her inability to love.

Xoxo

NiZi