Parking At My Mom’s House

I have found a weird kind of safety parking at my Mom’s house. Her house is toxic and makes my liver hurt and most of her food is poisoned. But she is not to blame. She is living in her own Truman Show just as most of the women in our family. Luckily, I have always been the black sheep so she understands that I question everything. It is just who I have always been and she knows my favorite question has always been “Why?”

My thyroid/throat, chest, and liver hurt when I am in her house for a long period of time. All my binders and vitamins that have been in my Jeep have been poisoned. They give me the lead lips and angry feelings. I have not been this angry in a long time and after reading the past handful of blog posts I know you all can see it too. This is how I felt most of my life. I was a really angry and anxious person. It is so different than the person I have become since I left Oregon.

The cult leaders must have wrote me off as dead until I started speaking out about being on the Autism spectrum and being an INFJ and genius. Why are they so against me being me? It must threaten who they are and what they plan to do. Who else has questioned their mental state after watching content on TikTok? Did you grow up in a family that felt like a cult? Were the men in your family covert narcissists? And the women/Mothers BPD? I would love anyone who can relate to my story to comment and let me know I am not alone.



It Is The Boy

Well, I tried going to bed in my old bedroom at my Mom’s house in my old bed and now I realize it is not so much what I know, it is who I am. My Brother is the only one who has had access to my old bedroom, phone, computer, and tablet which are all making me have a lead reaction that I can feel in my lips, my cold hands and feet, backed up lympathic system, and my cortisol levels. Why are they trying to kill my Mom too?

This has to link back to my Grandpa, my Dad, and my uncles. Why are they trying to keep us stupid? My Mom is smart like me they just have her extremely drugged/poisoned. The food she cooked had poison today, but she did not knowingly do it and it was small doses. There was more in the air at her house. Especially, around the time my Brother woke up. I wrote a note on my phone telling him to stop and saying we need to heal her or we can tell her about his serial status because my phone is bugged by the military people and the bikers. I know he got the message by how he looked when he came upstairs. He was channeling the evil of another. What an empty glow.

My Mom did cook food that my Brother went to the store to get for her. He also poisoned me last night with his truck. He showed up right when I parked outside my Mom’s house. Him and one of his old friends from high school that works at the grocery store stayed up all night “playing video games”. Gotta love those grocery store people! Why don’t they want us to be smart? Maybe because if we knew we could do it on our own, why the fuck we need them? I have never known a man to not be rather useless other than for money or his magic stick. I can make my own money when not sabotaged and use a dildo.

Is this all because my Dad poisoned my Mom while pregnant with me? And her Dad poisoned her Mom when pregnant with her? And my uncles poisoned my aunts while pregnant? We are all are pretty smart, but have rarely gotten traction in life on our own and have had major health issues. Maybe this is why my Mom magically got pregnant with my Brother right before my parents divorced. I really wanted to give my Brother the benefit of the doubt, but as my lips and cheeks are having a lead reaction. I am just pissed. Lead messes with my cortisol and makes it spike. I just gave my dogs a bath tonight and now they are high on lead and dirty again. What the fuck!!

Who the fuck was my Grandpa? There was a question I never really asked, because honestly he seemed quite useless just as most of the men in my family. All they can be asked for is money and to stay out of the way, but they love to create babies with us. They get quite mad when we will not reproduce with them. Look at how much pain it has caused me to say no to children. Even knowing children will not make me happy.

I am having the lead flashbacks now. My brother is poisoning himself too, but why? He isn’t smart like my Mom and I, but he is dynamic. Fun fact: I got my immunizations in half doses, but my Brother got them in thirds. Hmmm! Noteworthy, but still not quite sure what that means. Asperger’s is caused by toxic exposure during pregnancy. My Mom worked at the wood mills when pregnant with me, but she did not when she was pregnant with my Brother. Are all the kids with parents who worked at the mills around here born with autism and I just won some evil lottery? How did me and my Mom win the same lottery? Yes, there are genes, but gene expression is a thing too. What toxin triggers the gene expression for Asperger’s? Dare I guess lead? mold? radon?

They are trying to stop me from figuring out this puzzle. And they want my Mom to be in the dark, she has no eyebrows just like I had in Vegas. And the year she retired she got more sick, just like when I stayed home for covid. Even if I get her the tools to get better they will poison them, just like they did my activated charcoal in the Jeep and all the things in my home in Sierra Vista.

How the fuck do I explain to my Mom that she raised a serial killer with munchausen by proxy who’s longest victim has been her? Jesus Christ!



Gotta love family right! Can’t live with them, can’t live without them has a whole new meaning.

Looking For A Researcher!

To Whom It May Concern

Hope you are enjoying this beautiful spring morning. I am writing because I am seeking a team to help me explore my potential. After growing up in a Russian Orthodox multi-generational narcissistic family cult in Springfield, Oregon in the 1980’s, I am finally coming to terms with what was taken from me. In the past year, I have discovered I have Aspergers and am a genius. With my background I have never had the opportunity to really partake in traditional education, but I do believe that knowledge is power. 

I seek to research my brain and my emotions. My cult created a super human of sorts. I am antisocial, but I am missing the need to destroy people. People are really unnecessary in my life. Unless it comes to getting my basic human needs met, because I was never taught life skills. People have always equaled pain. I do not understand if this is due to the Aspergers/genius or if it is due to being the scapegoat and not experiencing love as a child(nature vrs nurture). My rose colored glasses would have been beaten out of me if it was possible, but I was never able to conform. 

If we can pinpoint the factor that kept me logical instead of giving into emotions and thus destroying people. We can change the world and improve everyone’s childhood.

I understand this is a long shot and a lot to take in, but I have been fighting for freedom my whole life. And I will never be able to seek justice if I do not understand what all has been taken from me. 

I look forward to your response. Thank you for your time and consideration.
(520) 866-1354