Back Home: Where Strangers Are Safer Than Family & Friends

Two younger military looking boys who followed me in Yosemite. I wonder if they even ask for the truth or just follow orders like SS soldiers in WWII?

After being chased by motorcycle gangs and military people through three states, here I am back in Oregon. When I crossed the border people recognized me as if they had been watching my whole escape from Southern Arizona. I know they don’t admire my desire to tenaciously stand up for what is right because currently the dark side is profiting them. They all are just covert in all their interactions because they do not know how to be authentic. Look for the people who pride themselves on social norms. Social norms can be quite deceiving.

After arriving in Eugene/Springfield, I went to see a friend to take a shower. Well, she poisoned me and my dogs with radon in her own house. Do these people not understand they are human too? Her second son is also like me. I realized this today(after over a decade) when she put him down about having suicidal thoughts. No one sane grows up in a family/cult like this and does not think of death.

Realizing that I have lived the Truman Show my whole life and that my family viewed it as a worthy sacrifice is a really weird pill to swallow.

Xoxo

NiZi

Do You Know How Frustrating It Is For Everyone To Know Who You Are, But You?

Until I started taking binders in 2017, I had no clue there was more to my family cult then just them. I bought all the brainwashing. I was born to be enslaved to my family. The fact that I want to live my own life on my own terms is something they are still trying to punish me for.

I have become one of those people who cannot stay in one place too long. People know who I am, they look at me with fear, hate, wonder, and desire. They see something I do not see. I do know it has something to do with having a baby because as a child I was brainwashed to marry a farmer and have 10 kids. My Grandma also had 10 kids.

So here are some pieces that I am still trying to puzzle together:

*Narcissistic Abuse damages your brain and causes it to shrink.

*43% of children will have a chronic illness by the time they are 18. This means women in our society are so engulfed in dark empathy that they cannot even take care of their children in a decent manner.

*Giving into social norms results in accepting learned helplessness, thus leading to dark empathy, and then cluster b personalities.

*My Grandma was a housekeeper at the hospital. She died of lung cancer, but did not smoke.

*A Mexican housekeeper at the apartment complex in Sierra Vista where I lived left a homemade stuffed animals on the stairs outside and it made my chest and face hurt. I think it was radon. They seem to enjoy lead, mold, and radon poisoning. However, the scary thing is it was a replica of the doll I got at Sacred Heart Hospital when I had surgery at eight in Eugene, Oregon.

*My whole family(aunts, uncles, and cousins) went to the pediatrician Dr. Johnson in Springfield, Oregon. Other kids who I went to school with who were like me also went to Dr. Johnson. Just for the record he never healed me of anything only made me worse. They say I got immunizations in half doses and that was the reason for me having twice as many as other kids.

*Housewives have the highest risk of cancer of any occupation. So obviously household cleaners are not as safe as they claim to be.

*Lake Trinity(Father, Son, & Holy Spirit) was a place my parents did cult business. This seems to be tied to cult members in Lake Havasu City. When I interviewed for a real estate position there I met with a lady my Mom knows.

*There are military and communist people following me. The military people will never be as vicious as the people raised communist, but they still have a great desire to kill and destroy.

*My parents played ET repeatedly for me as a child. I am unsure if they told me or if it was just implied that I would be studied if I ever said anything about being smart.

I know this all sounds crazy. That is why I have waited so long to write about this. Ever since I reached out to 34 random brokers looking for a real estate position it has gotten extremely worse. Finally, I am ready to admit that I am genius, INFJ, and have Aspergers. Why is it such a problem for me to be me?