Encountering Toxic People While Healing Chronic Illness

Avoiding the general public has been a large part of my healing journey. I have been sick for so long, it is really hard to connect with average ordinary people. These are the people who keep fast food restaurants in business, talk a big self care game but practice very little, rely on western medicine blindly to solve their health issues, do not research and implement ways to improve their health and/or children’s health, use money as an excuse for their poor self care practices, etc.

When I started to see light at the end of the tunnel and had faith that I was not going to die, I made a promise to myself. I promised myself I would try to help others who were ill and felt hopeless like I had. My heart and rose colored glasses often lead me to have very idealistic goals that rarely manifest in the physical world like I plan, but I am always learning and growing from these experiences.

Last fall, I applied for a support provider position, because I thought what an amazing way to utilize the knowledge and wisdom I have acquired along my healing journey and reintegrate into society. I remember what it was like to not be able to take care of all my needs and how helpless I felt in those moments because I knew others would take advantage of my weakness. This was one of the most difficult parts of my healing. When I finally gave up the people that saw my illness as a weakness they could exploit, my healing journey did not take a magical turn towards empowerment. Instead, it got even more difficult. However, taking my power back was the best thing I ever did.

Fast forward to the present and I have been a support provider for almost 90 days. Can I just say, everyone needs to save more for retirement because no one deserves the level of care that the state provides, even through a private company. If I had been subjected to this level of care I would have died. The realizations have been downright overwhelming, but the most shocking part is that most people employed in this field are not caring, kind, and/or healthy.

In the past 90 days I have relearned many lessons about people and human nature, but the most impactual lesson has been: hurt people will hurt people. Narcissism runs very strong in American society and the healthcare industry is no exception. People are only rarely led to working in the healthcare industry to make a difference, but more often they are motivated by the opportunity to prey on weak people who cannot stand up for themselves.

A perfect example would be a man who recently quit because he was confronted with the fact that he was abusing a client. The company was not going to fire him, but wanted him to change and see the error of his ways. This talking to did not occur because the company is proactive about protecting the rights, safety, and welfare of their clients, but rather because they were avoiding the possible legal ramifications of a formal sexual harassment complaint.

I continue to learn lessons about life, people, and health. Exponentially more lessons than I ever would have expected and/or imagined. The past few months have been filled with many disheartening realizations about society and people. However, I am still continuing to make great progress in my healing journey.

Thank you to all who have subscribed, I will try to write more often.

Love & Coconut Oil

NiZi

“Giving people the benefit of the doubt only leads to self doubt.” ~Me