My Grandma was the boss lady before my Mom. It took me a bit to come to terms with this fact because my Grandma was the only one who loved me. She is the one who taught me love.
My Mom was unable to even pretend that she loved me and this is what caused everything to fall apart. The root issue is Communism takes love in order to work. We are told we are being destroyed out of love, but when the love is absent it is just plain destroying. This is not a complex equation.
However, toxic people love to blameshift because it is the easy way out. My Mom blamed my Grandma loving me for her inability to control me. I have been the difficult child who was made to believe I was broken, on top of being drugged and never teaching me life skills because they needed control over me to keep their secrets.
Never stop questioning reality! Only people who fear the truth will tell you to stop.