9 Signs Of Toxicity When Making New Friends After Narcissistic Abuse

When making new friends and reconnecting with old friends after narcissistic abuse, it is imperative to figure out who is toxic and who is healthy. Healthy people will aide in your healing journey, while toxic people will add to the struggles of recovery. Recovering from narcissistic abuse is a lifelong journey. When you think you have arrived, you are faced with a new obstacle in life that leads you right back to recovery. You are worth the life of your dreams and every time you compromise it is rooted in your belief that you do not deserve your dreams.

Recently, I have been working on meeting new people and reconnecting with some of my old friends. After going within, working on myself, and my root wound, it is time to get back out into the world. However, going back out into the world is not without speed bumps.

Here are 9 signs, I have encountered, that shed light on a person’s toxicity:

  • They enjoy hearing about your problems and things you are struggling with because they enjoy your pain more than they can share in your successes.
  • They use your given name more often than necessary.
  • They over share their issues and struggles, but rarely share successes or things they are happy about(besides material possessions).
  • They talk a big self-care game, but rarely participate in it or follow through.
  • They know a lot of people and enjoy talking/gossiping about them.
  • They often talk about their traumas, but rarely share how they addressed and/or dealt with these issues to heal.
  • They treat you as a toy/possession rather than a freethinking individual.
  • They study you rather than get to know you or catch up with you.
  • They bring up past experiences you shared that involve your vulnerability(if you knew them before).

When you know and realize the signs and feelings that go along with toxic people, it is easier to weed them out of your life. Be a ruthless gardener and protect the garden of your life like the true gift it is.

Xoxo

Nicole

Follow me on IG to keep up with my adventures

https://www.instagram.com/nicole_graves_kudearoff/

Check out: The Narcissist’s Flying Monkeys

The Narcissist’s Flying Monkeys

Narcissists cannot survive without their enablers. Flying monkeys are people who turn a blind eye to red flags, blatant abuse, and the narcissist causing most issues rather than resolving them. These people are usually unaware of the abuse they are perpetuating and participating in, but ignorance does not make the damage they create heal faster.

Flying monkeys also play into narcissistic family cults. When narcissistic supply is not easily obtainable, a narcissist always has their family to fall back on. Narcissists rarely go no contact with their family of origin, even when there are highly dysfunctional members. Turning these dysfunctional family members into flying monkeys allows the narcissist to perpetuate abuse on their target whenever they choose. Family members in a narcissistic family cult are taught loyalty and blind devotion from a very young age, so these flying monkeys will normally last a lifetime.

Narcissists use flying monkeys to spread and perpetuate their smear campaign after their true colors are seen. These people are used to do the narcissist’s dirty grunt work. Flying monkeys do not think for themselves and often take everything the narcissist says at face value. Even when faced with the truth about the narcissist, flying monkeys would rather stick their head in the sand than admit the narcissist is not the victim he/she claims to be.

A narcissist needs to have flying monkeys for narcissistic supply and reinforcements. These people allow the narcissist to continue to believe all the grandiose things they believe about themselves. Flying monkeys may be unknowingly perpetuating narcissistic abuse, but this does not mean they belong in your life. Going no contact with all people who have bought the narcissist’s fantasy, that they sell as reality, is imperative to your recovery.

Remember the truth is often not as easy to swallow as the great fantasy the narcissist sells. Have compassion for these people, because at one point in time you were one of the narcissist’s flying monkeys too.

Xoxo

Nicole

Follow me on IG to keep up with my adventures

https://www.instagram.com/nicole_graves_kudearoff/

Check Out: Narcissistic Abuse: Nature Versus Nurture