The Socratic Method

I figured out why my outburst about sexual abuse was so revolutionary when I was 4. The Socrates and Plato dynamic is how my family cult keeps men in line and grooms them to be the leaders of our family cult. I always knew that the men in my family had some weird tendencies, but never in my life would I have guessed that it steams from sexual abuse they eventually accept as normal.

In college I had a gay friend who told me my boyfriend at the time had asked him to have sex when he was high on coke. I really did not think about it too much because I thought he was just one occurrence and it was just another example of how I need to make better choices. He was not alone in this tendency, huh?

When we went camping as an extended family when I was younger all p.c. behavior was pretty much thrown out the window. Everyone got to be free from something. My Uncles and Aunts and Mom used to tease the boys and call them “butt buddies” and other names like this. I never understood these phrases/names. Why joke about this stuff? Well, now I understand it was to normalize it.

My sexual abuse experience that made me speak out was when my Grandpa Kudearoff took me and my cousin J “hunting”. There was no hunting involved just abuse and the threats of being stranded in the middle of nowhere in the woods. This somehow becomes normalized with age, huh?

Does the sexual abuse ever stop? And why do the ethnic boys enjoy it more? Is it the only time they feel powerful?


Nicole Graves

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