There Is Nothing Ordinary About Being Revolutionary

My emotions are not my weakness, but rather my strength. Just because I express my emotions and work through them does not make me weak. This is my greatest strength. This is part of why you all are consumed by emotions, you choose to hold onto them rather than work through them.

People today want to believe I am breaking. I do not understand their logic. This is day #191 and I have been in this war since birth. If I was going to break it would have happened already.

Seeing my Mother and Ryan for the first real time yesterday was one of the most freeing moments of my life. I am finally free of the people they tried to sell me they were for a lifetime. Love is what hurts in this war. When people destroy you and tell you it was out of love, it does the most damage. I am finally free from all the people who told me they “love” me. This means no one can use my humanity against me anymore.

Today, I am more free than I have ever been. However, those who are missing an emotional spectrum will never understand this, because they have never had their humanity used against them. Or maybe they just don’t want to remember that they once were human too? Being human hurts, its part of the experience. You can let that hurt make you better or bitter. It is a choose your own adventure.

My revolutionary people will get this though. We understand emotions are energy we can use to drive us forward in life and evolution, not something that anchors us in the past. People addicted to their emotions will never understand this. They hold on so tightly to every emotion they have ever had, but especially the negative ones. Let that shit go, just learn and grow from them.

Today, I realized just how messed up the whole system is. All the SS soldiers and fancy families perpetuate the pain and suffering they are running from. As if they have forgotten about their own pain, but this is there driving force in hurting others. It is as if they think they can transfer their pain to another in order to get even. People are not depositories for your emotional pain. No matter how much pain you cause in others, you will retain your own hurt and pain until you process and work through it.

Look at my Dad, he has caused the most pain and suffering and yet he still is just a hurt person himself. Somewhere along the way he forgot about love. He uses destruction to fill his void for love. He just wants to be loved too. Humanity is a funny thing like that.

Emotions are fluid and not something to hold tightly too. Love surrounds us, we just have to open up to the experience. Changing the way you process emotions, changes the way you process life. Being a human with humanity is a really neat experience. I urge you all to take part in it, rather than run from it.

Love Always

Nicole Graves

The license plates that surronded me while I was writing this were:

Oregon 436 MQF

Oregon 905 MVY

Oregon 316 ERV

Temp license A1689301

Oregon 9R-0299

California 7mcn471

Oregon 588 CEY

Oregon 536 KHZ

Oregon 139 AEL

Oregon temp A 157074

Oregon 234 LBY

Oregon 253 LZJ

Oregon 860 JBM

Oregon 015 KXV

Oregon 741 CKB

Oregon 907 LJE

Oregon 032 LLW

Oregon YYX 635

Oregon 231 MFV

Oregon 064 ENP

Oregon 907 LJE

Oregon 229 JWM

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