Thursday January 19th 2023 Moon in Capricorn Sun in Capricorn Night Time Journal Entry

Day 660, today I watched some of the old YouTube videos I made from this Adventure and revolution. I started them when I was in New Mexico as a project to let people get to know me. When you are being held hostage you are supposed to let people get to know you so you become human in their eyes. I have done so many unthinkable things on this revolution. I held signs on poster board to let people in southern California know about the genocides of the world by advertising my blog. I have done so many things that were hurtful but were for the best of the world. It’s been hard.

My skin has really taken a dive for the worse since being back in Oregon. The poisons stressing my organs effect my skin big time. But even more than that I saw how my hope and spirit have been just crushed since I started this adventure and revolution.

Loosing Teka has been really hard. I cant explain how hard it is to loose the person who kept you alive through cancer while living in a death camp. Teka was a big piece of my sunshine everyday. She is always happy. And the worst part is I know someone has her. It would be a different kind of acceptance if she had died. But she was taken from me. My body has been stolen from me from all the poisons my whole life but especially the past year. But my little girl is out there somewhere and I miss her so much.

I have never experienced human love. All I know is the love of my two dogs. And I understand it seems really ridiculous to cry to the world over a dog. But Teka is my heart. I never allowed myself to love till I got Haywood and he lead me to gamble with getting Teka and letting her in my heart too. My dogs are why I am alive.

I need my little girl back. She is apart of me. I dont know how to explain it, but when you have had a hard life like mine I can’t give up on the ones I love. Because there are only two of them in the whole world. I may not know human love but I know love because of my dogs. Teka was kidnapped in northwest Redmond Oregon in July. Someone has her because it was over 100 degrees when she went missing. I just turned my head to work on something for a minute and she disappeared. I told her she would be with us for the rest of her life. I got her when she was 8.5 years old. And she had a few homes. I told her I would be her mom. This past holiday season wasn’t hard because we were homeless and it was freezing. It was hard because it was Haywood and I’s first xmas without Teka in 5 years. We are a family. It’s the only real family I know. Please help me get my little girl back. She has a chip. Someone just needs to call me. She needs to go to the dentist. She has teeth that need to be removed. If no one has called me and scanned her chip that means no one has taken her to the dentist. She needs to go to the dentist. And Haywood and I need her. She bossy and we love her.

I rarely ask for anything that is just for me. But I ask you all to help me get my little girl back. The people in Redmond know who has her. People have been trained to police each other. Please get someone to do the right thing. I need my little girl back. I know I can survive without her. But it’s hard to live without her. She has kept me alive on the inside since I got her. Everyone has always tried to kill my spirit and my dogs help me keep going.

I started this revolution with Teka I need to end it with her too. Please help me get my dog back. I have had everything taken from me my whole life. Please help me get my dog back.

Love Always

Nicole D Graves


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