Thursday Morning Rambles

Everyday I get up at 7am and get ready for work as if I am just an ordinary human. Only to feel like I am getting ready for a funeral in my all black clothes. It feels like my own funeral in a way because what the fuck has happened to my life. I have become someone I do not recognize, but in the best way possible. I am doing things that no one ever thought I could do. Being merely alive makes me superhuman. I have done things most could never even dream of accomplishing.

There are eyes and ears from my family cult at my Mom’s house. Things I do over the weekend are brought up covertly in conversation at work. The people at work try to install fear programs in my brain. Like the other day the owner said something about a lady dying from breast cancer in six months. My family cult has started poisoning me even more since starting work, but especially since passing my licensing test. They are trying to get me to live in fear of dying, but is that really even living?

My coworkers are uncomfortable by the dynamics my family cult creates around me, but it is just the way my world has been my whole life. I may be lonely, but people will never make me feel less lonely. Being around people enforces my need to keep my distance metaphorically. People will never be the answer for me, but humanity could be the answer.


Nicole Graves

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