Tuesday February 14th 2023 Moon in Sagittarius Sun in Aquarius Three Times In Three Years-Covid

So I did have covid again. But I relaxed, sweated it out, and took antivirals for the past couple days. And today I feel better. The sore throat has been the worst part the past 2 times. The first time the fever was the rough part. Covid is just a cold.

But shout out to the lady who was touching me at Walmart today poisoning me as I was leaving the store. Jokes on you bitch, hope you enjoy your cold. The people sent to gangstalk me today were extra hands on to stay the least. My food was pretty poisoned. I took my ice cream back because it had that sweet poison that feeds c diff. So basically my Dad is trying to help me diet. Which is good. Today marks the halfway point to healing my fatty liver protocol. They say it takes a month of alternate day fasting to heal fatty liver. But I think I should keep going till my birthday at the end of March just to help my body get rid of toxins. Toxins are stored in fat cells. So if I want the cellulite on my legs to go away, I’m going to need to fast some more. Especially if I dont give up sugar. Sugar is a toxin. Yet, I’m still eating ice cream. Ice cream is what helped me figure out how survival trumps addiction last night.

The past couple months I have been trying to figure out why its hard for me to quit ice cream. Normally I dont really have a hard time quitting things. But normally my life is on the line. It’s pretty easy to quit things when you know they can kill you. Even today and this week when my ice cream has poisons I take it back. My Dad has always had people poison everything. But this is why I have been able to quit everything. It’s all about survival.

How long do you all think it will take for everyone to hear what we learned today and get on board with protecting their access to things? The United states postal service workers must not have gotten the message yet. Because they are constantly signing up to poison and destroy me still. It’s just annoying.

Funny how it’s people’s worst nightmare to be treated like me, but they rarely hold back from trying to make my life worst. I dont know if that’s poetic but its something. It was shocking and hard to fathom that people dont care about right and wrong. They dont know right and wrong. I should have caught onto this sooner because people have been pretty wrong to me my whole life. People are pretty awful. I am not sure on how to process this still. Because I know people know better. They just dont care. I hope one day they care more.

Last night, I felt sick and sad, and desperate. I just want this all to be over. It was super disenheartening to see how quickly the people at Coldwell banker signed up to destroy me this week. I can feel people’s hormones and emotions. I just feel people and it was really sad what I felt. I suppose if I felt like them I would want to destroy people too. But I think if you feel that awful you should probably look at it as an inside job and something you need to fix on your own. Rather than try to take it out on others. But that’s just me being logical again.

I want and need so badly just to be treated fairly. All I want is to earn my freedom and create a good life for myself. That’s all I want. I just want to work and have a home and not have my organs fail from so many people poisoning me and I want to be able to provide for Haywood better. He deserves flea meds that arent poisoned and actually kill fleas and lots of fuzzy blankets and new bed for him. Shoot one day maybe I can get him another little sister. It’s really hard for me to understand all of this. Because it’s illogical. My Dad is a #2 just like me. I have the birthrights that he stole from his older sister and my Mom. I am #2 on both the graves and Kudearoff sides of the family. And I am a #1 in my immediate family. I outrank my Dad. My Dad is part south American. He’s not all white. Even if I’m not as white as him, I still outrank him and I have the Hitler birthright. I’m pretty sure there are other ethnic people with fancy birthrights like mine that dont have to die because their Dad sucks at brainwashing his daughter. My Dad is a superior white person and I outrank him even though I’m not as white. So that means I have to die and I never get an ordinary life. That is illogical. None of that makes sense. If he wanted white children, he should have had white children. If he wanted me to believe in destruction, he should have been a better salesperson. My birthrights shouldn’t mean I have to die. I’m pretty sure most people with #2 birthrights get to be powerful and have a say in a lot of things. Look at my Dad bossing the world around. I suppose he’s not really bossing, he’s  just bribing the world around. He’s creating his crackhead cult and bribing them to like him because no one loves him. Now that is logical and makes sense.

So guys, am I going to get a fair shot in real estate? What else do I need to figure out in order to be treated fairly? Today is day 686 of me creating a revolution and living in my car. It snowed last night and I live in my car. What do you think that is like? Can you imagine? Because before 2 years ago, never in my life did I think I would ever be in a situation like this. I am the kind of person who eats raw beef to stay alive still. I have always done what I have had to do in order to survive and have as good of life as possible. But I got to tell you all I need real estate to work out for me because I believe good people deserve good things. And I know I am good people. I know I have earned my freedom over the past 686 days. I just want to be Nicole. I dont want to be an extension of my Dad or my families any longer. I just want to be me. I want to be the lady that wanted better for the world. So she found a way to reach the world and create better. That’s who I want to be. I want to be me and have access to a normal ordinary life. I still dont want or need to be fancy. I just need to be me. I have fought a revolution to be me. I have picked apart our brains and our brainwashing to figure out how to override our systems on so many different occasions. I realized today I gave everyone the information they need to be a great evil like my Dad. However, if I give this information to everyone than we all are safe. Because it only enslaves us all when we dont understand what is happening. Sure there will always be leaders who brainwash and bribe people to follow them and destroy us all. But now when we see this happening we can all.put our foot down and stop them in their tracks. Materialism and fear of survival are the greatest weapons in the world. Who would have thought taking away someone’s right to shop would be the same as threatening someone’s life. It’s crazy what our c diff infection does to our brains. I used to love to shop. But now I am just not too interested in it. I think it is because I have learned how big of a rush potential is and doing my best. Shopping will never compare to potential and finding my own limits. I encourage you all to try finding something you enjoy more than things. Things are great and all but they enslave you.

My Valentine’s day wish is the same as my Christmas wish and my new years wish. I just want to be a regular ordinary person and sell real estate so I can get a home and be warm. I am hoping you all can get people to fall in line quickly so I can have a normal life and be warm. I know there are a lot more things I need to do for you all. But I just really need you all to do this one thing for me first. I need security and warmth in my life. I need a bed. I need to go to sleep at night feeling safe and to wake up rested. It would be really nice to not get covid anymore. I dont understand how my Dad thinks it’s going to kill me. It gets easier to overcome every time. The first time was scary and I was living in Arizona in my apartment. The second time in California was kind of scary but I got better quickly and I started fasting lots to see what other viruses I could get out of my body. It made me do some amazing things for my health. However this time it took about 36 hours to heal once I realized what was happening. Natural antivirals are all it takes. But I dont know what I learned this time. I suppose I will have to simmer on it for a few weeks and see what comes to me.

So here I am again hunkering down for another really cold night, hoping that I have given the leaders of the world all the tools they need to give me the life I deserve. I pray for my normal ordinary life every night. And tonight is no different. I would be lying if I said that I would not kill people for my normal ordinary life. People have tried to kill me my whole life to earn privilege. They weren’t trying to be ordinary. They were trying to be fancy. If me getting my ordinary life costs some people their life, I’m okay with that. Because those kind of people would and have tried to kill me. And they dont know right and wrong. I understand right and wrong and have proven this over and over. I have proven I want better for everyone and I’m willing to do what it takes to get better for everyone. So maybe it is selfish of me to say I dont care if some of the people left standing in the way of me having an ordinary life have to die. I told you all I was going to learn to be more selfish this year. After a lifetime of people trying to kill me and hurt me and destroy me, I am ready to say that is enough and they deserve to be destroyed. Everyone has a limit. I have found my limit. I’m done being destroyed because my Dad views me as less than because he used me to conquer the Kudearoffs. I may never be white enough for the superior white people. But I’m enough for me and I deserve to have my ordinary normal life. And so do you all. I’m going to do everything I can to get us all these ordinary normal lives we all deserve. Because this all is bullshit and it’s just a stupid imaginary game anyway. We have real lives to live.

I love you all very much. You all are my valentines.

Nicole D Graves

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