“You get to choose which of your birthrights you cultivate.” I channeled this in my last blog post and it has haunted me all day. I get access to some pretty amazing advice, but it does me absolutely no good unless I actually use it. This mess and me perpetuating more pain is not what I want to be remembered for.
My need for answers is costing everyone more stress, pain, and disease. If I continue, I am no better than the people who started all of this. I can forgive my behavior when I did not know the rules, but now that I kinda know the rules I cannot keep doing this. My people are the ones who are paying for my actions. We are at the mercy of you people and when I stress you people out my people pay for it. I can only imagine what the guys at the group home I worked at in Sierra Vista, Arizona have had to deal with since I started this escape and asking questions.
I just wanted to find some answers to my pain, not to cause more pain. This may not look like winning, but it is. I survived cancer, wandering the desert for years, escaping a death camp, and get to start over. In the past couple years, when they tried to destroy me the most, I have flourished on so many levels. I can teach you all how to do what I have done: how to heal. We can still be revolutionary just in a very different way. A way no one can stop us from doing. Self care is self love in action. When you love yourself you can love others. This is part of where my great ability for love comes from: self love.
Once again, I am unsure as to the how part, but we build as we fly. This is not me giving up, but merely a reroute in direction. I still want to meet you all in person, but let’s talk about love and health. Rather than war and pain, because we need to focus on the things we can control. I apologize for all the pain I have caused and I promise to make up for it. Also, I realize now you all look me as priviledged because I have had a choice as to whether or not to join the dark side. Now I understand just how rare this is. And I want to share what I have learned by rejecting the dark side with you all, so you can heal too.
Life is beautiful and I want you to be able to see what I see.
P.S. Remember hope everyday at 4pm and go visit your ancestors. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to set the record straight about me and my people. I appreciate it beyond words.