I had been wondering why my steering wheel has been making my lips numb again, but I honestly had not thought of it too much. “Poison happens” is the motto when you have lived my life. So, the midwestern guy at work from a fancy ethnic Nazi family paid me back with poisoning my car today. It’s not the first time. There is a large reason why my Jeep has one custom seat and no carpet. This has been happening since I started driving. Wouldn’t it be nice for my family cult if I just died in a car wreck? How convenient to not have to be accountable for their sins once again, are you noticing the theme here?
Today, I started calling my family and some friends of the family to quote them insurance. This is something I just did not want to give in and do because I can feel their sins when I hear their voices, it’s weird. I never assumed my family was full of serial killers, but now I am seeing things I never saw before. The lighting has changed on my whole life, thus changing the script. Which honestly is not a bad thing, because it just felt wrong before. Not that this isn’t wrong but this is at least logical to a certain degree. As I type this my fingers are being poisoned and my lips are going numb and tingly. My Mom or Brother must have got my keyboard with their poison. Have you ever noticed the sensations in your body and how they correlate to what is happening on the outside that is beyond your control? And how they relate to your emotions and the internal dialogue in your head? Try it, it is good for the soul!
Today, I found my mojo again. I spoke with strangers and family at work and finally got the system down for writing auto and home quotes. Thank God! I was waiting for everything to click. And it finally did. Am I out of the dark? No not yet, but I am close and getting closer by the day. I may never understand what is happening or why, but I do know that insurance can get me out of this really weird situation I call a birthright and I just have to keep going. There is a camera by my desk at work that should document the poisoning from the lady I work with. I am unsure as to where the records are sent or if they are saved, but if there is someone who has access to the cloud of video please check it for me. The Certain one and the California family she is from probably have an enemy somewhere that would like to use this information. My family cult does love to send people away for the war crimes they make them commit.
To all the people who smiled and waved at me in April and May, early on in the adventure, thank you. I think of you all often, especially those in the redwoods. My Truman Show is designed to make me think there are no other people in the world who agree that my family cult is wrong. I know I am not alone. We all do what we have to do, but occasionally I still see someone who lights up with hope just slightly when they see me. I wish you all hope because hope is a priceless thing.
Never second guess your heart, follow it.
Nicole D. Graves
P.S. To my family: I have played your covert games for a lifetime. It is time to play your games and support me in my endeavors, but please do not be emotional when you get on the phone with me. When you are emotional and I hear the hatred in your voice the pieces fall into place about your war crimes/sins. I don’t want to know anymore. Get better at faking it for Christ’s sakes!