Today, on day 1 of introduction to cult leadership let’s talk about the foundation. If you build something on a solid foundation it will last forever. Leadership is no different.
First, you need to put your emotions aside and look at people like math equations. Because there is no emotion in math. It’s simply straight forward. The only emotional part is when you can’t seem to get it right. People are like math. They are an equation that is black and white. It’s just frustrating figuring out how to work the equation. Leadership is all in your critical logical mind. And emotions do not exist in your critical logical mind.
Second, you need to be an equal with the people you lead. A wolf doesn’t lead a dog pack. A dog leads a dog pack. Or think about it from a math perspective. When someone looks down on you and gives you energy from 90° angle, it feels less than when someone looks straight at you as a peer to give you energy at 180° angle.
If you are looking towards the people you lead to make you feel better about yourself and more important or valuable, you are doing it wrong. You are a leader to help people feel valued. You are a leader to help people find their way in life. And a large part of finding your way in life is finding yourself.
Leadership is about helping people find themselves. If you are looking towards them to help you find yourself, it will be a shit show. And the blind leading the blind. Know Thy Self! And help your people find themselves. They will be more valuable once they know themselves. So it is a win win situation. Plus, they will be grateful for your help getting there.
Third, as an equal you need to get your hands dirty and accomplish things with your people. Leadership isn’t about getting your people to do things for you. It’s about accomplishing things as a team and a group. Know your people and figure out their skills and gifts. This way you can utilize those skills and gifts to everyone’s best interest.
Think about the bosses you have had at work. The bosses who tell you what to do without helping are harder to respect. But the ones who get their hands dirty with you and help accomplish the task at hand are way more enjoyable and relatable. They are easier to bond with.
Being a leader who is an equal and works with his/her people will allow you to create a bond with them. Having people who worship you who you don’t know or enjoy, is just like having a group of stalkers. It’s not fun and it can be dangerous.
You need to create a group of people who will be there for you when times are good or times are bad. And you do that by being there for them when times are good and times are bad. You build your life with these people as they build their lives right along side of you. The more you build together, the stronger your bond and more loyal they will be towards you. You do things with your people. You don’t just shout commands. You build lives together. Yes, they are separate lives. But you build them along side each other. You grow up or grow old together. And lean on each other along the way.
My Grandma Kudearoff was an amazing example of this. She made everyone feel special. She always had time to say hi even when countless people stopped her in the grocery store. Never did she look towards people to make her feel important. She knew she was the boss. And she built lives with the people around her. She may not have been a nice or good lady, but people loved her and she treated her people really well. Her family was a different story. But she treated her people well. Because she understood they were how she became so powerful. They built lives together for decades.
When my Grandma Kudearoff was dying, she worked at the hospital. And she was about 4 months away from retirement when she got so sick she had to stop working. The people who worked with her at the hospital gave her their sick days. She came really close to being able to get her retirement because so many people gave her their sick days. They only did this because she treated them as an equal. They knew she had worked hard just like them. They knew she had struggled just like them. Her struggles were their struggles. It was their bond.
You need people to share your struggles with. You need people who will help you when you really need it. You create these kinds of bonds by putting your ego aside and being an equal with the people in your group. Yes, you are a leader. But first and foremost you are a human. Never forget you are just like everyone else. And they won’t forget either. They will be there for you when you need them. No matter if it is good times or bad times.
It was the worst of times, it was the best of times. Being a leader is about being human and building lives with people.