Today, I finished 50% of my diversion for my trespassing ticket. Two more weeks and I should be done. Thank goodness!
So, I have been in a homeless shelter since Friday. And I have never experienced anything like it. And never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought I would end up in a situation that lead me to a homeless shelter. But I have been homeless for 4.5 years while building this revolution. Funny, if my family would have just let me have a normal ordinary life, I would have never thought to start a revolution. Never in my life did I think my family had influence over anyone, let alone the world. It still blows my mind. But here we are.
I thought about it a lot and I do not want to talk about specifics at the homeless shelter because it just does not seem fair to talk about people. Funny, huh? The people there are literally signing up to destroy and kill me, but I don’t want to talk about them because I feel that it is not really fair. I have never been around so many mentally ill people on drugs ever before in my life. It is shocking and different than anything I have ever thought existed.
The shelter I am at is low entry. Which means the requirements to get in are pretty low. Meaning the people there are not expected to be sober. However, they are expected to not do drugs on the premises. Which is helpful and I am grateful for. But it is a bit of the wild west, because I never thought anywhere like place existed. I am grateful to have somewhere to go. And I am grateful there is somewhere for all the different kinds of people there to go. It is a lot of people who normally would just fall through the cracks of society and government programs. What would you do if you were physically sick and homeless? Where would you go? And don’t you think this would lead to mental illness? It is sad. My story is unfortunate, but all the people there have unfortunate stories. I still do not know how to process it all.
I still have not showered. The bathrooms there are filthy. But I did buy a new set of clothes and shaved my head again. It feels nice to be a little cleaner. And sleeping inside without having cars everywhere nearby is amazing. Over the weekend, I slept so much. And to have balanced meals is something I have never really had. The food is poisoned, but it is so much cleaner than the food I have eaten most of my life. I really like the food. Which sounds super sad and a bit gross. But you all cannot imagine how much poison I have eaten my whole life.
My kidneys are still failing, but they are doing better. I am sure as I have been there longer, my family will find more people to poison me. But I don’t think the people there will be able to handle the amounts of poisons I am used to. It will hurt, destroy, and kill them way before it will get to me. Which is sad, because my family will get the people there to destroy themselves in an effort to destroy me. You have to remember when I lived on the Chambers hill in Eugene my neighbor died from poisoning me so much through the walls of our apartments. And it only took like 6 months for that to happen. The people at the shelter will destroy themselves. I do not think they will be able to recover from the destruction that awaits them. I have lived like this my whole life. I don’t know any different. All I know is how to survive the war waged on me.
Sleeping inside is hard. I like sleeping outside. Especially, sleeping under the stars. I have never lived in a home that wasn’t designed to kill me slowly with chronic illness. Some slower than others. So, it is hard to sleep inside. But it is also hard to sleep outside with how much people poison me too. So, it is just different and I am adjusting. There are things I like more and there are things I like less. I have never been around so many people for a continuous time period ever before. The closest I can compare it to is summer camp from elementary school. But those kids weren’t mentally ill and on drugs. So, it is a bit different.
The good news is I am pretty sure as long as I mind my p’s and q’s I should be able to stay through the winter. So, this winter I will not have to worry about freezing or getting wet. That will be nice. They don’t really kick people out. I am grateful.
Tomorrow, I meet with my case manager from there for the first time. I have no clue what he will say, but he is extremely into destruction. His brain misfires all the time and his micro expressions give him away. He’s a complete junkie for destruction. I can only imagine how powerless he must feel in his personal life to be so broken. And it is sad that he preys on mentally ill and homeless people for a job and to make himself feel better about himself. I told him I was not mentally ill and did not have any physical disabilities when he checked me in and he basically told me that I have PTSD and checked the box. They must get more funding for people who are more disabled. I hope he does not press this issue, because you all know I cannot lie. So, if he tries to make me lie I will not be able to do it. PTSD has nothing to do with what you have been through and it has everything to do with how much butyrate producing bacteria you have in your gut that facilitate you dealing with stress. So, he does not even know or understand PTSD. Which most people do not.
The people there are all mixed polish NE/NE and a lot of them are from families that have surrounded me my whole life. But I realized the other night, while I was laying awake because they were poisoning me with poisons that make everything glow and keep me up, I realized that my Dad/family does not have the ability to block people’s communications hubs. What has been happening are these are the people who have surrounded me for a lifetime. These are the people that have been poisoning me my whole life, but especially for the past decade. Well, these are the I5 people. When I move away from the west coast, my Truman show is made up of different people. These mixed polish NE/NE people are the ones who gangstalk me when I stay on I5. These are not the ones from the fancy families or related to the royal families, but they are still the ones who have been gangstalking me for a lifetime. But they have probably been doing the same thing to you all. It is just like my Dad uses the Austrians outside city limits to gangstalk us all. It seems like every group gangstalks every other group. Everybody signs up to limit the experiences of everyone around them. You know we could all focus on reaching our own potentials, rather than limiting the experiences of the people around us? At least that is what I hope we can do soon. Maybe you all are not interested in potential? I am not sure what you all value, because it seems like you all value whatever you are told to value. I hate being told what to do.
I have a feeling I will be able to read a fair amount of books this fall and winter. It is hard to pay attention because there is so much happening there and the poisons are strong. But I do think I should be able to read a fair amount. I think I will get used to it after a bit. I don’t know if anyone could ever get used to the world hunting you because you are trying to change the world. But I suppose there are many people who have tried to change the world who my family has had you all gangstalk, destroy, and even kill before me. And I bet you all didn’t know the specifics then either.
Did you know that epigenetics were discovered in the 1980s? The destruction of the world and the subhuman slave race my family has gotten you all to perpetuate for generations is rooted in epigenetics. And you know what you all did to the guy who discovered them? Well, he was a med school teacher and he ended up having to leave the country and teaching somewhere else. He got discredited and people laughed at him. They basically used herd mentality to argue with and hide the science. If you all were better at asking questions before you sign up to destroy, gangstalk, and kill people, you all would have known about the subhuman slave race back in the 1980s. The father of epigenetics is Bruce Lipton. He has sold out big time since the 1980s, but wouldn’t you have too?
I am not the first person who has tried to tell you all the truth that you all have signed up to kill. I am not the first person who you have kept small and destroyed who could help you. I hope you realize you need to ask questions. If you just take orders, people like my family will always order you to do the dirty work that limits your own experiences and keeps you small and sick. People my family will always get you to do things that keep you slaves on a gene and cellular level. Is that what you really want? Because you all are the ones doing the bitch work to make yourselves slaves. Why not put that energy and efforts into doing something good? Why not try to be happy? Why does freedom not matter to you? Why are you fighting to be a subhuman slave race? And why the fuck are you trying to destroy, gangstalk, and kill me when I am the one person who can do things no one else can for you?
I really do not know why I want to help you all still. I suppose it is because I want to help myself. And the world helped me get this far, I would like to pay them back. I feel like a lot of different groups owe me IOU’s. But I also feel like I owe countless groups IOU’s too. I suppose I feel the interconnectedness of the world more than I ever have before. I wish I could have learned this lesson another way. I wish I could have met the world in a different way. I wish the circumstances of my life were different. But I wish the circumstances of the world were different.
Once we reach the rest of these Mixed Polish NE/NE people we rebuild. I sure hope that is soon. I want to fulfill my obligations, but I also just want to get away from people more than ever. My whole life I have searched for someone who is my equal and this revolution has taught me that person does not exist. And it has nothing to do with my birthrights. It has to do with the kind of human I am. It has to do with the person I was born to be and how I am true to that person.