So You Have Complex PTSD, Now What-6 Steps

Complex PTSD is not something that is well known, even in the mental health industry. This disorder plagues people who have encountered narcissistic abuse and trauma. If you do not learn to manage and minimize the symptoms associated with CPTSD you will be bound to a BPD like life. This was enough to scare me straight after experiencing the wrath of BPD trauma filled individuals my whole life. Recovery is the divider between personality disorders and survivors. Cluster b personality disorders stem from trauma, so you have seen your future if you choose to skip this step.

The journey to recovery is far from simple, but it is manageable if you break it down into steps. These are the steps that helped me make progress without overwhelming my body and mind with uncontrollable anxiety and igniting my fight or flight response. Your body and mind want to heal, you just have to give it the right tools.

  1. Arm yourself with knowledge about cluster b personality disorders-know thy enemy
  2. Identify your root wound and original abuser-you were groomed by someone in childhood to accept these kind of people and ignore the red flags
  3. Identify the toxic people in your life currently-find the red flags you have been ignoring and the people who make you feel uneasy, bad, guilty, unworthy, less-than, etc
  4. Go No Contact with all the toxic people in your life-use the Grey Rock technique when you cannot go No Contact
  5. Find a knowledgeable counselor, coach, or friend who is familiar with narcissistic abuse and recovery
  6. Let the healing journey begin and be patient with yourself-healing is not a linear process

The shock of realizing that your whole life has been preparing and grooming you to be a pawn for cluster b personality disorders to use is a heavy reality to swallow. However, feeling sorry for yourself will not help your healing journey or recovery. Realize you are human and this is apart of your evolution. The real tragedy would be to continue to live in the dark as a pawn for toxic people and become toxic yourself.

Xoxo

Nicole Graves

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The Narcissist’s Flying Monkeys

Narcissists cannot survive without their enablers. Flying monkeys are people who turn a blind eye to red flags, blatant abuse, and the narcissist causing most issues rather than resolving them. These people are usually unaware of the abuse they are perpetuating and participating in, but ignorance does not make the damage they create heal faster.

Flying monkeys also play into narcissistic family cults. When narcissistic supply is not easily obtainable, a narcissist always has their family to fall back on. Narcissists rarely go no contact with their family of origin, even when there are highly dysfunctional members. Turning these dysfunctional family members into flying monkeys allows the narcissist to perpetuate abuse on their target whenever they choose. Family members in a narcissistic family cult are taught loyalty and blind devotion from a very young age, so these flying monkeys will normally last a lifetime.

Narcissists use flying monkeys to spread and perpetuate their smear campaign after their true colors are seen. These people are used to do the narcissist’s dirty grunt work. Flying monkeys do not think for themselves and often take everything the narcissist says at face value. Even when faced with the truth about the narcissist, flying monkeys would rather stick their head in the sand than admit the narcissist is not the victim he/she claims to be.

A narcissist needs to have flying monkeys for narcissistic supply and reinforcements. These people allow the narcissist to continue to believe all the grandiose things they believe about themselves. Flying monkeys may be unknowingly perpetuating narcissistic abuse, but this does not mean they belong in your life. Going no contact with all people who have bought the narcissist’s fantasy, that they sell as reality, is imperative to your recovery.

Remember the truth is often not as easy to swallow as the great fantasy the narcissist sells. Have compassion for these people, because at one point in time you were one of the narcissist’s flying monkeys too.

Xoxo

Nicole

Follow me on IG to keep up with my adventures

https://www.instagram.com/nicole_graves_kudearoff/

Check Out: Narcissistic Abuse: Nature Versus Nurture

The Truth Sets You Free

My Grandma was the boss lady before my Mom. It took me a bit to come to terms with this fact because my Grandma was the only one who loved me. She is the one who taught me love.

My Mom was unable to even pretend that she loved me and this is what caused everything to fall apart. The root issue is Communism takes love in order to work. We are told we are being destroyed out of love, but when the love is absent it is just plain destroying. This is not a complex equation.

However, toxic people love to blameshift because it is the easy way out. My Mom blamed my Grandma loving me for her inability to control me. I have been the difficult child who was made to believe I was broken, on top of being drugged and never teaching me life skills because they needed control over me to keep their secrets.

Never stop questioning reality! Only people who fear the truth will tell you to stop.

Xoxo

NiZi